Ever get a Down Day?
 

I am having a sort of sad day. I think that this is normal.

Yesterday I went with the ladies to see the local Hi Skool performance of "Singing in the Rain" and it was very very well done. However, the subject brought back the good time memories with XABF... he studied film in CA and was in Film Class with Ron Howard.. they had vastly divergent careers after that... LOL

Anyway, I recall him telling me about actor and actress failures when pictures became "talkies" as the silent actors and actresses did not all have the voice for non silent films. He used to tell me of those who fell from grace with the advent of movie sound, and those who succeeded as well.

I guess it just made me miss the good times a bit and I suppose this is all part of grieving a loss. Anyway, there is a difference between having friends and having a relationship with another person and I guess today I am just missing that part of life.

I do not want XABF's lying, cheating, useless lazy @$$ back here in my life, but there were things that we did and discussions we had. I do find that sometimes I miss it and it hits me and makes me sad. I expect this is normal (hope it is anyway). I still get these feelings sometimes when I see a herd of nice cows out on green grass and think how much my deceased x husband would have liked to see that too (and he has been dead over two yers and divorced going on 7 years).

Well, anyway, that is what I am feeling. I feel it is just a normal part of life and it will pass. It is just a bit of loneliness.

I got up this morning and made coffee, eggs and a real small batch of biscuits and was thinking it would be nice to do that and share it with someone special.. and then I had the little turn off switch go off in my head. I recalled my XAH telling me how HE made breakfast in the College Dorm (he had a job as a cook when he was going thru college) and how my XABF would have taken the tools out of my hands and made me sit down while HE made breakfast while giving me a dissertation on how to be the perfect cook.. and my Father would have complained no matter what I did...

.. and the switch went off in my head saying, "Forget it. All they do is complain anyhow and let you know you can never do it good enough for them.. better off to be lonely than to deal with some guy and his superior attitude."

I was thinking.. it would be nice... but I then remembered how rarely it actually was.

Ah nuts.. just a little lack of self worth, ungrateful, selfish sadness and bad attitude today I guess.
As someone here says the difference between a sad day and a not sad day is about 24 hours. This too shall pass.

Thanks for listening to me whine...

Today is rainy here. Even though I know it is necessary for the beautiful colors of summer, rain still makes me feel a little gloomy. Calling for snow by Wednesday. Just in time for Easter. But that is spring in NE Michigan:) Anyway, I think what you are feeling is grief and it takes time to get through it. Can't shortcut it. But I think there is a purpose to grief. It makes the good times ahead even sweeter. Big Hugs, Marle

A down day, they ahppen. I had the most down week of my life last week. Got to the point I didnt believe it would pass. But it did. They always do. Be kind to yourself and try not to think to hard on things, for me that makes it worse.
Watch a nice movie, light some aromatherapy candles and remember if you get through today, tomorrow is a new day.

I learned too for me, and approved by doctors if I take several exrta B 6 vitamins or B complex it helps me get through much easier

I had a down day yesterday; or part of the day anyway. My 17 yr old sober daughter went shopping and had a great time; but I was remembering when my 20 yr old RAD would go with us also. We usually had a good time together - just the three of us shopping and eating lunch together. I miss that a lot. Not that my 17 yr is not fun (she's a hoot!), but I miss what we used to have together.
I allowed my pity party to take a hold of me for a few hours, then I let it go.
I think we all have those bad sad days of remembering better times with our addicts and we miss that. Like you said, it is part of our life.
HUGS to you and wishing a better day ahead.
Terri

Sorry you are having a rough day, Elana.

You are a wonderful, warm, loving, sincere, unselfish person and your insight has helped me more than you know since I came to SR.

Take care of yourself and know that you are loved by many!

Blessings and Hugs to you!

i kind of think that a bad day every now and again, maybe a part of growing, sorry that you are having a bad day, hope it gets better soon. glad to know that it was just one bad day, i remember when everyday for me was a bad day. still praying for you.

I always have said you have to have downs in order to have ups.. it gives scale to the ups. This too shall pass.

(of course I have also said there need to be losers and "also rans" so there can be winners.. and I told my XABF once that he was the "also ran" that came along to give me scale as a winner... and then I thanked him for that... He did not get it... )

I did get my Catkins this morning (if I use the word pu$$ywillow the pu$$y part turns into stars.. which I think is a pretty funny joke on the Forum Moderators. LOL) I also went for a hike.. now I am off to print some of this film I developed. I think the radio on and the dark room will lift my sprits. Printing photos of cart horses in NYC and frozen water drops today).

Thanks.. I don't think anyone is happy happy joy joy every day.. We would get on our own nerves if we were... LOL

Yes...I get blues sometimes, but it's better than chaos.
I'm happy all the time...i just feel like crap sometimes
but oh will...sometimes i hit the high notes
sometimes i hit the low notes...
The song sounds beautiful like that.

I was having a lot of them lately...

first I was of the mindset that if you’re having a down day, you should wallow in it, if you want. You know…allow yourself to feel your feelings, process grief and all that.

Hey…I’ve been through a lot I’m entitled to a down day right?

Then, I noticed that I seem to have a “down day, every couple-few days! That’s a LOT of wallowing! lol!

Now I just admit to myself, “oh I feel a blue day coming on”, and I distract myself from it and try to enjoy my day. I’m hoping it’s just the end of the winter *blahs*, or a stage, and I want to move on and feel better, so far this approach seems to be working for me.

Hope you feel better!
JSM

Yup...What Jen said!! I hope your down day turns to a beautiful tomorrow because you truly deserve happiness in your life, Elana. You are a sweet and caring woman and your honest and insightful posts here are so helpful and a joy to read. I think it is supposed to be more of a Spring day tomorrow than it was today, so I hope your mood rises with the temp. Hugs and prayers.

Sorry you are having a downer Elana. Sometimes just confessing that to someone makes you feel less alone and puts it in perspective. We are all human, we all hurt, we all heal at different rates. Continue doing those things that make you feel good. I'd like to see some of your photos! Could you post them?
krhea

Marle is right. Life is all bittersweet. Some bitter, to make the sweet sweeter. Embrace those memories for what they were, and then let them go. Emotions are like waves, constantly building and then tumbling down into nothingness. Just watch them and then let them wash your heart clean.
Peace.

Awww.. shucks.. How can I stay down with you guys around?

I did print some Black and white in my Dark Room. I will try to scan some Tuesday (have to go out tomorrow evening). I discovered, much to my dismay, that some of my paper is bad. Ugh.. But I got some Resin Coated prints. I spent 4 hours down there getting things "right" and I got 2 images printed nicely. I have some adjustments to try and some contrast filters to fool with but I was satisified with tonight's work.

I called a friend in Ohio and we talked for awhile after I got done with the prints.

Its OK. I can never stay real low or real mad or real extreme anywhere. I think getting angry at m XABf, Steve, was the deepest anger I have ever felt.. on occasion it still bubbles up like Lava... and then there are moments when I miss his conversation. Trust me on this... those moments pass quickly! LOL

anyway.. thanks to you all.

we all have our down days.hope tomorrow will be better.hugs,

I had a down day once.
My brother and I had a pillow fight. The pilllow broke open and we had down all over the place...

Ok bad joke but I needed to post it because it has been running around in my thoughts since first reading the thread title earlier *LOL*

Yup... I will go to my room now *LOL*

uh, yeah. lol

((((Elana))))

I'm sorry for your sad day. I sure hope tomorrow is a better on.
I kinda had a sad day too, and it also had to do with a man.
One of my managers at work. For some reason, I have no idea why,
I just can't stand him. I get defensive when he's around. I feel bullied
and talked down to. We've had words in the past once, and this evening, if I hadn't gotten up and left when I did, I swear I would have said things that might have gotten me fired. Tomorrow is another day. I pray he's off work. lol
I feel for ya, sweetie. We're entitled to have an off day. Just don't let drag you down too far. Are you going to meetings? How about bingo, bowling night with the girls, anything? You should get into something active. Listen to me...
lol. I need to take my own advice.
Where there's a will...

Take care and remember I do.

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...nnings_lmc.jpg

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...er/thClown.jpg

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...ser/tharro.jpg















Cause they taste funny.http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...0418-22-37.jpg