Help
 

Hi Folks,
I am i a mess and need feedback. I devorced my first hubby after 3 yrs because of alcohol abuse. Remarried and made sure hubby # 2 didn't drink.
Well # 2 didn't work out and 30 yrs later I am back with # 1 and he is still drinking. For some reaon I still love him and here I am. He still drinks and drives, when he takes his boys out it is to drink and his son drove rather than him it makes my head crazy I need to try to start to end the emotional entaglement.

Welcome. You are in good company here. Sounds like you have your hands full and a heavy heart as well. I hope you find peace and support in this community.

Welcome laidierainbow... one of the first things I learned in Alanon are the 3Cs...

I can't CAUSE addiction.
I can't CONTROL addiction.
I can't CURE addiction.


These are the absolute truth. There is more I have learned at Alanon ...most of it about me... why I pick alcoholics, why I interact with folks the way I do. Lots of interesting stuff. You might want to check out some meetings? Just a suggestion.

I wish you well... ((hugs))

welcome to sr, glad to meet you, the addict in my life is my hubby. sorry that you are hurting and i pray that all works out well for you.

there is nothing you can do about your husbands drinking and i'm really sorry/ this is not your fault, your husband has to want to stop for himself. i'm also sorry that your son's are having to go through having to drive him a round drunk. maybe soon he'll find his way, but in the meantime, maybe its time to you to focus on you and what you want your life to look like in the near future. keeping you and yours in my prayers.

Welcome,

Many drink all their life, case in point, my mother, going on 82 and still drinking,has been drinking for 62 years. Starts at about 9 am and goes until she passes out. Day in, day out. She will never recover from the disease, as she does not want to. Has never seeked recovery, or, even stopped for a day.

Have to agree with the others, there is nothing you can do.

I had to focus on me, my sanity, my well being, not hers.

When I am with her, I drive, period end of conversation, this she knows, so she does not fight me. If she is drunk and calls me, I say "Drunk Talking" and hang up, period end of conversation, this she knows, and does not call back until she is sober, I don't hear from her too much as there are not many sober moments. If I am with her, and she gets nasty, I leave, just walk out the door, no goodbyes, no nothing, this she knows.

What I am saying is, set your bounderies, what are you willing to accept and what are you not willing to accept...and, most important, stick to them.
A wishy washy attitude towards bounderies, makes everything worse, not better.

Keep posting, we are here for you.