I am sorry you are having a hard time. I miss my AH too and get lonely sometimes. However, I would rather have to feel lonely then to have constant chaos. I know you love him and I have so much sympathy for what you are going through. But sadly, until he realizes he has a problem and needs help to solve it you may not get the answers you are hoping for.

I would just try to take care of YOU right now and try to do something to take your mind off of him when you are most likely to worry or think about him.. read a book at night before you go to bed, play board games with your children, I actually sleep with two big pillows next to me becuase for some reason there is comfort in that for me. Everyone has hard days in recovery, including us. You will get through this and I hope you feel better soon.

Prayers,
Tiffany

hi faith!!
im o sorry for all the pain,,
it must be veryhard but youre very strong!!!
concentrate on your recovery now,, we dontknow if he will come back,, or when or what,, so there is nothing u can do,, just concentrate on u,, things that make u happy,, and go justfor today day by day.. stay strong!!!
im praying for u!!GOD bless u

Hello All, I have posted a Thread under "Just Needing to Talk" I would love for you all's opinion!
Thanks A Lot!

Thanks to everyone at SR, I am beginning to get my head on straight. You are so right that our recovery takes a long time. The finances are the biggest mess. Today, as I was trying to pay the bills, I realized what a jerk he had been with all his broken promises about how he was going to help me. When is all weighs out, he hurt me badly in many ways. It may not be easy, but I will survive and carry on. I guess you all have been there and know how much it helps to share with others. This, more than anything else, helps me.

I know now that the longer he stays away, the stronger I will be. I am busy cleaning up the messes he has made in my life. I don't have a clue how I could have been so stupid, but they are such great manipulators and convincing liars. They hit us where we are vulnerable. I read the posts about Karma, and what goes around, comes around. No one can prosper by taking advantage of and hurting others.

I will keep you posted from time to time. I am sure this is not the end of this drama.

You were NOT stupid. You fell in love. Love is never stupid. It's just you fell in love with someone who is more in love with a drug...than people. I know in my heart that my ex loved me the best he knew how. And that he just didn't try hard enough or what to be clean enough to get out of the mess he has made of his own life. From the "recovering" addicts I have talked to....it is VERY tough to get & stay clean.

i can feel your pain & i am sorry for your hurt.you can never be sure what an addict is feeling or where they are or what they are doing. the only thing you can do is take care of yourself & as you said pray.we do alot of it or at least i do,for my addict & all of yours.let us hear from you. we care.hugs,hope

i'm sorry that i'm late on this, and i havent gotten a chance to read all the responses, i've been kind of busy today. just want you to know that i'm so sorry that you are still worried and have not heard from him. if something was so wrong, don't you think that his family would contact you? since they haven't then he's probably, and since he hasn't contacted you, i would think that he's still out using somewhere. active addicts don't usually care about hygene. so for him to not have changing clothes is not all that uncommon. when my husband stayed out those 17 days, he found changing clothes somewhere, and i guess he found somewhere to sleep. they are very resourceful. they will find a way. sorry that this is happening and you are welcome to pm me any time. still praying for you.

((((((Faith))))))
I'm sorry...I know this part is very hard and no matter what, it takes awhile to move to a place where the hurt isn't so deep and the worry so intense.

It has helped me to remind myself that worry accomplishes nothing and can not change a thing. I tend to find that one easier when i truly can not attempt to control a situation...when it is out of my reach. I'm still working on not controlling and not worrying both at the same time, lol...seems I can do one most times, but not both at once all the time.

I'm glad you are keeping busy...that is helpful. If you can talk to your higher power and let HP know you need a little help with this, I know he'll hear you. He may not fix it the same way you would, but his plans always work so much better than mine.

I know it is really hard not to ask yourself all the questions...does he love me, will he stop? I agree with Big Sis that it was easier for me to separate the loving person from the addiction. Hugs and prayers.

Faith--- I've not read the other posts.

I figured out finally that it didn't matter if he "loved" me or not. His actions didn't show me that he loved me, and that was all I ultimately needed to know.

If you really want love... you need to feel it and to have the other person in the relationship show it. If they don't... it's not love to you, whether they profess it or not.

That's what it came down to for me.

Faith,
I don't think you were stupid at all. Everyone wants and likes to be loved. We always seem to do the pros and cons and we ALWAYS want the person back that we feel inlove with. I think women have a tendency to forgive and forget a lot of things and make up facticious things in our minds to justify things. Faith, just remember.. you are the only person that can take care of you. Moreso, don't ever thing you are stupid... just hopeful and inlove.
Best of Luck,
INLOVEWITHCH