laketime

As Called Yesterday Wanting To Talk. I Said I Would Talk Today. We Met This Morning. He Says Hes Broken It Off With 15 Yr Old Agf, Hes 20, And Moved Out Of The Apartment The Druggies Live In. 4 In A One Bedroom. He Was Actually Thrown Out. His Mother Drove Through The Complex Out Of Worry And They Got Paranoid. Thought They Were Going To Get Busted. Maybe Because Her Car Was White??? I Dunno. He Wants To Come Back Home, Respect Our Boundaries, Go To Meetings. Start Some Night Classses, Get A Job Etc,etc,etc,. I Said No. I Just Don't Believe Our House Is The Right Place For Him. I Mean Weve Tried This Before. Hes Basically Broke , No Place To Sleep, Hungry, Rail Thin, And Unkempt. Thats One Reason For The Change Of Heart Im Sure. Could This Be A Bottom, I Dunno. I Told Him We Would Let Him Stay If He Would Respect Our Boundaries Until He Could Get Placed In A Halfway House. He Said Yes . Which Is The First Time Hes Ever Mentioned He Would Consider A Halfway, And He Is Rational Not Raging And Seems Truly Grateful, Even Respectful None Of The Previous Anger.he Said He Thought He Should Attend At Least 4 Meetings Per Week. Were Going Out Of Town Tommorrow And He Said He Would Find A Place To Stay. "he" Didnt Think It Would Be A Good Idea To Stay At Home With Us Not There. How Odd. It Doesnt Seem Like Quacking This Time But Who Can Tell. Anyway Ive Have Pulled Up The Names Of Some Houses On The Net. Does Anyone Know The Best Way To Find A Sober Home, Halfway House, Recovery Home Etc.
Thanks
Lake

rahsue

I hope this is it for your son.
good luck

mooselips

Lake,
I love it when they sound lucid.
Maybe he's serious, and truly wants to start anew.
I hope and pray it's so.

A halfway house would be the way to go, I think.
Good for him, and good for you.

Hugs,

patchoulli

call the salvation army my daughter stayed there... miracles happen..Marian

dollydo

I hope you have your bounderies firmly in place and don't get your expectations up too high.

I wish you the best, I hope this works out.

laketime

Ok, New Development This Morning A Friend Of Mine Called As. Offered Him A Job Erecting Bill Boards. They Travel 3 Weeks And Are Home A Week. Although I Like The Prospects Of Him Not Being In This Town Around Negative Influences, I Don't See How This Will Help His Recovery Long Term. It Pretty Much Nixes A Halfway, I Think You Have To Check In Every Night, Am I Right , Does Anyone Know For Sure. It Would Also Make Attending Meetings Difficult. Anyway, I Know Its Not My Decision Its His Im Just Not Sure How I Should React And How It Would Affect My Boundaries Should He Choose To Take This Job.
Any Hints
Lake

teke

WELL, my knowledge about halfway houses is that you check in at night, daily unless you have a pass and that's usually just on wkends and holidays.

you can find a meeting almost anywhere. that depends on how bad he wants to look for one, i think. i don't know what you are to do, other that what you've already said you would. i mean isn't the boundary based on whether or not he stays clean or is there more? i think that you are right, the decision is up to him and so is yours. jmop

parentrecovers

the halfway my daughter was in did not allow any onights for the first month, and then only wkends after that with permission ahead of time.

sounds like your son needs to choose his priority - job or recovery?

thinking about you.

blessings, k

hope213

maybe he has hit his bottom.i hope he does everything he says, that would be great.he sounds good. i hope everything works out.prayers, hope

BigSis

How an addict recovers is absolutely individual.

I know what is a "good" recovery, and it bothered me to NO END when my kid got clean from meth, but didn't go to meetings, didn't get a sponsor and didn't work the steps. She didn't even read the Big Book! And even *I* had read the Big Book.

Then MY (future) sponsor in Alanon asked me which of those things *I* was doing... blush. The answer was .... none of them.

Two things happened after this -

1. I started working MY program .
2. My kid stayed sober without a program.

Pretty incredible stuff.

Both my kids had to leave my home once they developed addiction. Neither was "ready" or "equipped" for the outside world. Both survived and learned from the experience.

And I got some peace. Which I needed - badly.

I attended Alanon meetings initially to help get my kid sober ( I could SWEAR that's what they told me at rehab - that ME going to Alanon would help HER get sober...smile. Today, I know I probably heard that wrong).

But I stayed because it helped ME to feel better.

I hope you can feel better soon, too.

marle

Another place to locate a treatment center or halfway house is to to to
www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov

Barbdee

Highly recommend the Oxford House, if you have any in your area. He sounds ready and that's the only way to go into them...it's NOT a rehab.
It "sounds" like he has woken up....praying it's true.
In an Oxford House, you have to be home by 11 PM every night for the first month. You also have to attend 4 meetings a week for the first month AND get a sponsor and a job. Don't think that job would work with the program.
He also needs to be clean for 30 days to get in, that's the prob for most of these kids/men.
Good luck and **{hugs}} SM