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I need help. A sponsor. Someone.

Old 03-21-2007, 10:46 PM
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Unhappy I need help. A sponsor. Someone.

I am 34, married, I have one child from a previous marriage and 2 children with my current husband and one on the way. He is an addict (vicodin to methadone, to suboxone, to now stealing my nerve pills on top of the suboxone and Klonopin he's prescribed and abuses) and I need help. I don't have time to go to NA meetings as much as I would love to.

I am looking for a sponsor to talk to on the phone who has been through the programs, NA meetings or is an actual sponsor. I need someone to talk to.

I'm tired.

Please help me.

EverJo
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Old 03-21-2007, 10:51 PM
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Welcome to SR. You've come to a good place for support and people to talk to. I come here because there are no meetings in my area... and because I love the understanding and supportive people here. My husband & brother are the addicts in my life.

Again Welcome and I'm here if you want to talk. PM me.
Hugs,
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Old 03-21-2007, 10:57 PM
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Thank you for replying. I tried to PM you and reply to yours but since I'm a new member I can't. I hope there will be more replies and maybe even someone out there who can lend an ear on the phone and help me help myself. I'm tired of helping him. I have got to start taking care of my children instead of him. I just don't know how to do it without leaving him and I would hate to do that because of the children. Otherwise, I would have been outta here a long time ago.

Again, thanks for replying.
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Old 03-21-2007, 10:59 PM
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I just sent you a PM... hopefully you can reply to it. I'm sure many others will be along sortly to welcome you as well.
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Old 03-22-2007, 01:21 AM
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Welcome to the forum! I am very sorry for what you are going through. Unfortunaltly I live in South Africa and am not a sponsor. I have never even been to an NA meeting. My brother is an addict and i found that this is the best support ive ever had. There are many people here who will be willing help. I do understand how tired you are. I am tired of my brother. Im sure others will be along to help you............
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Old 03-22-2007, 05:02 AM
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Hi..welcome...just hang here for a while. It will help...
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Old 03-22-2007, 05:03 AM
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Welcome,

Pull up a chair,and read others stories, it will help you.

Addiction is a horrible disease, one that has tenacles that reach far and wide, this disease affects all that it touches.

Keep posting, we are here for you.
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Old 03-22-2007, 05:09 AM
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Welcome to SR. I've tried meetings but none here have been effective or helpful for me. I've been to a counselor and that helped a great deal. SR is my salvation and it keeps me going when I couldn't otherwise.

Pull up a chair...

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Old 03-22-2007, 05:31 AM
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Hi and Welcome.
EVERYTHING you read in the Sticky at the top of the page "What Addicts Do" is so true.

I believe the Alanon program has a program for those unable to attend meetings.. a remote sponsor program (I don't know if that is what it is called).

You need to learn how to take care of you in this program (SR, NarAnon or AlAnon) so you can have the peace you so desrve in this life. Keep coming back!
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Old 03-22-2007, 05:55 AM
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Welcome Everjo. You came to the right place. I am fairly new here, so proabbly am not the best to dole out advice, but we'll all pitch in to try and help you. NO matter what happens, you have to think about how his addiction is affecting your children. They are so vulnerable. And protect yourself too.
Hugs and Prayers for you and the kids.
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Old 03-22-2007, 06:10 AM
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welcome to sr, the addict in my life in my husband of 21 yrs, i'm not able to go to meetings right now either, but they are really helpful. read around the board , the stickies at the top of the forum are loaded with info. ask as many questions and post as you want, we all or here for you and want to walk with you through all of what you are going through. i was literally out of my mind, when i first came here, these people are so kind, understanding and wise, they have been my saving grace. stick around, it does better.
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Old 03-22-2007, 06:26 AM
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Ever -

Welcome to our community. I've been a member here since May of 2005. This forum has been a true life saver for me. It helps to know that I have someone to turn to 24/7. There are many many wonderful people here that understand exactly what you are going through.

My addict is my husband....20 + year user of crack and 35+ year user of everything else in the book. He has 20 months of sobriety now. I am a card carrying member of just about every 12 step program it seems. Alanon, Naranon, AA, etc. I am almost 1 year sober myself now.

I would really recommend reading all of the stickies at the top of the forum. They are a crash course on all of this addiction/codie stuff. Also, the books by Melodie Beatty are great.

Keep coming back! We are glad to have you - Donna
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Old 03-22-2007, 06:32 AM
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Hi, and welcome. My son is the addict in my life and this forum has been a true life saver. I've only been a member for a couple of weeks and I can't live without it.

Hang in there and keep reading.
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Old 03-22-2007, 06:40 AM
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nive to meet you, everjo. lots of support here, so keep posting! blessings, k
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Old 03-22-2007, 01:29 PM
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Hi and welcome!
Stick around and read the posts and feel free to reply too, it really does help.
It has helped me a lot.
Like mish99 said, this is the best help I've ever received too.
I don't have access to meetings, etc. and I can come here 24/7 and find what I need...a place to vent, a shoulder to cry on, some advice, etc. etc.
The addict in my life is my brother and my mother is his enabler.
Recently I have been having some issues with my teen daughter as well.
Good Luck!
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Old 03-22-2007, 05:48 PM
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welcome to SR. I'm the mother of an addict and stick around theres lots to learn here. but first and foremost you're right that you have other things to think about including yourself. Your solution will come with time.

good luck and prayers will be said for you tonight
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Old 03-22-2007, 10:11 PM
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Welcome, I'm so sorry for the pain that has brought you here but you are definitely in the right place. Reading other posts and just absorbing all you can is a good way to start understanding how to put the focus on you and your kids.

One of the first lessons I learned was the 3 C's

You didn't cause it
Can't cure it
And can't control it.

I found this a good thing to remember each time I wanted to start acting as mistress of the universe and "make" my daughter stop using. It just doesn't work and only the addict can find the desire to stop.

This is a program of baby steps...Sometimes it is hard for us to see the change in ourselves...sort of like loosing weight...But then someone sees you who hasn't for awhile and they remark on the positive changes. Keep coming back, we're here for you! Hugs
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Old 03-23-2007, 06:23 AM
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Everjo,

Welcome to SR. You've found a great place for support and recovery.

If you can make face to face meetings, I'd highly recommend it. I've used my meetings and this board for nearly 4 1/2 years now and both have helped save my sanity. If you can't make face to face meetings, then dig in here. There are lots of good, recovery people here who you can learn from. We won't tell you what to do, but we share our experience, strength and hope which can help you decide what is best for you to do in your situation.

There is someone always here, so post away. I know I've "talked" on this board like I'm carrying on a conversation in person. PM's, private messages, are also hopeful, when you need a one on one kind of conversation or need questions answered.

So make yourself comfortable and welcome to the family. We are all walking this road together. The good news is I've been taught a better way to live by the 12 step program and the help of this board and I know things can get better for you, too.

Big hugs,
Hangin' In
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Old 03-23-2007, 06:52 AM
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(((((EverJo)))))

Hi and welcome to sr. Sorry I'm late in welcoming you.
I'm Linda and my addict is my 25 yo son.
I've been here since October 2005 and I can't think of a better
support system, other than f2f meetings.
My work schedule varies so sometimes it's hard for me to catch
a f2f, so I come here, open up, and let it out.
The feedback, support, and prayers are awesome.
These folks are a Godsend and I'm proud to be a part of it.
Unfortunately, addiction affects everyone in the family.
I grew up with alcoholism and dysfunction. Then I married into it.
Now, the chain continues with my son.
Codependency, also affects everyone in the family.
You'll learn more about that later. How old are your children?
Once again, welcome. This will make a difference, if you let it into your life.
So, keep coming back, and remember...recovery is progress, not perfection.
I just learned this myself recently from a dear friend and mentor here.
BigSis????? Stand up and take a bow...
EverJo, you'll feel better once you start focusing on youself and your children, and you no longer have a front row seat in the drama.
Start by reading. Alot. I read "Codependent, No More" first. I even listened
to it recently on cd.
Sending prayers and support from me to you, your addict, and your children today.
A new sr buddy,
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