Nicole0927

Well he did it again.... Not answering his phone so... I know what that means. I'm giving up. I'm throwing him out. He is someone that I met that had nothing so it probably wont even matter, but I can't do this anymore. I know that I'm not jumping to conculsions either. This is his pattern. So my friends I will be spending the evening emotionally a mess packing up all his crap and throwing out on the porch. I just wish I would of done this the first time. It is truly sad when you think about it. For the addict that does not wnat to get help has wasted pitiful disgusting life. I HATE DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tropikgal2

I don't blame you. You are probably doing the right thing even though it is hell while you are doing it. Things will become clearer as you go.
Peace to you.

OurBigSecret

Just letting you know that I hear what you're saying!
I've been there too. Been there, done that.
For your sake I hope you're wrong about what he's doing, but if he is doing wrong you are definitely doing the right thing.
I don't know your situation, but if it is bad, I say run and don't look back.
I'm not saying it's easy, but it is probably for the best.
Just my 2 cents.
Good Luck!
I'll keep you in my thoughts!

Nicole0927

Well not sure how I'm going to feel later but all of his stuff is out on the porch. My biggest concern is my son. They bonded so much and my son loves him. He is 8. I have no idea what I'm going to tell him. He is at his fathers tonight but will be back tomorrow. He is going to be devastated.

patchoulli

From my own experience, it seems that the drug abusers do get on great with kids....I think its like minds...Only you can make this decision. I believe your son will miss him but he will also miss the fights, stealing, mom paying more and more[this is a progressive disease]. and mood swings that accompany this progression. I wish you peace

Elana

Ah this is all so tough.
It jsut seems so impossible they can use us so badly and use themselves so badly.

You tell your son the truth. You tell your son that his friend is ill and cannot be there right now. Be sure to tell him the illness is not catching..

sorry you are going thru this

dollydo

I believe you are doing the right thing. You son is young, and he will move forward quite easily...by letting an addict into your sons life, the end result will be harmful, not a positive experience.

Keep your resolve.

Wascally Wabbit

I have been through that. It gets better and you will find peace.

teke

i know how you feel, been through this more times than i care to admit. addiction is progressive and it only gets worse. i say that you have to do what is best for you to do, whatever that maybe. its your choice and you do deserve a better life. addiction is a life long thing, it can't be cured only arrested and that my dear is up to the addict to decide. keeping you in my prayers, things do get better if you work toward it.

BigSis

As I've gotten further into my recovery, I've changed some of the ways I do things. There are choices I would make today, that I would not have made a few years ago. This is a good thing.

I can spend time having regrets over EVER having made those choices, or REJOICE in the fact that today I know better, so I can do better.

(((hugs)))

fleaSha

I am so sorry to hear this, but I too think you are doing the right thing.

My son was 8 when my ABF came into our lives. My ABF didn't fall back into his addiction until about two years later (after 6 yrs clean). Since then, my son has seen my dad, step-dad and bf fall to the disease. We've both been in counseling since. He knows the truth and I feel that this experience has already put in his head how dangerous drugs and alcohol are. I can only hope he knows to make the right choice if/when he is confronted with it. I guess I'm telling you this cos I think that your son knowing the truth can help in a positive way. Just make sure your son knows that your bf is sick and the addict is not the same person the man he looked up to. (does that make sense?? -- I know what I'm trying to say - sometimes the words don't come out right...)

Good Luck. Take care of YOU and your son.

peace

hopeforever

i know its very hard for u now,, i have simillarhings about husband realpse now,, was calling the phone , for almost two days worrying,
and he came back now,,, all high from drugs..
i hope that everything iwll be good for u,, stay strong and GOd bless u and ur son. themost important do what u have to do to be happy. GOd bless u. hugs for u and read and post alot it will help u in this time ,, GOd bless u hugs toyou and let us know whats happens itwill help u to share and take all the heaviness out

Nicole0927

Thanks everyone for all of the support. Still have not heard from him and his things are still outside. I really don't care what happens to them. I can't look at his stuff inside the house anymore. It wasn''t much anyway. He gave me his check last week to pay his car not and insurance. I mailed the checks out but today I called the bank and put a stop payment on them. So this weekend I'm treating myself to something really nice and pay some of the debt off that I put myself in for him. Accepting the truth is one of the hardest things ever. I dont want to end things with him but I have to. Last night I read ADDICTS PLEA , over and over again so I'm stepping aside and moving out of the way. I just hope that he has enough strength to pick hisself up and go after his recovery the way he chases after crack. That is the only way he is going to stop. His job called when he did a no show( they are aware of his addiction) not sure if they are finally going to fire him this time they should this the 4th time he has went MIA with them. 1st 2 times he took their company truck. They were going on and on telling me how much he loves me and that they have seen a big change in him. Sorry for him but I will not be his second love choice and further more he cant fully love me if he doesnt love hisself enough to stop hurting hisself.

teke

i know that its a hard call to make, nicole, but it may just be nessessary both for you and for him. hoping that he finds his way soon. still praying for ya

Ann

Wise words that we all can learn from.

Nicole, my prayers go out for you and your son, and yes, for your addict too, that what is happening now will take each one of you to a better and healthier path.

Addiction is a progressive disease, so know that what you are enduring today would only get worse if you spent more time, money and emotional energy trying to wait it out. We can't out wait addiction.

Plan something nice for you and your son for the weekend, those are often the hardest days to get through.

Hugs

OurBigSecret

Two of the best things I've ever done in my life were to leave my addict husband and then later on leave my addict fiance (I sure can pick 'em, huh?). And there were kids involved both times. I don't regret doing it for a minute. I'm not saying it's easy, especially in the beginning, but it does get easier as time goes on. You're doing the right thing, just keep doing it and you'll be fine.
Good luck to you and your son. He is the most important person in your life right now, he needs you to make the right decisions for him.