Need To Vent!!!!!!!!!!

Old 03-20-2007, 09:27 AM
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Need To Vent!!!!!!!!!!

Just Wanted Someone To Vent Too. I Am Having A Rough Time. I Do Go See Aprofessional Counselor Today, Maybe She Can Help. My Hubby Confronted Me Yesterday About Being "distant" From Him, And The Way I Have Been "mistreating" Him These Past 3 Months. He Says He Is "emotionally Lonely". He Says That Maybe He Needs To Go To A Counselor, I Said Go, But What Problems Do You Have Now? He Just Pointed To Me And Him, Meaning Us. He Expects Everything To Go Back To The Way They Were With Us Before All This. But I Just Can't. Too Much Has Been Done And Said For Me To Go Back Or Pretend That All Is Ok. I Can't Get Out Of My Head That He Stole, Pawned, Forged ( He Went In My Deceased Dads Things And Got His Old Check Book And Forged His Name On About 3-4 Checks), All The Lies And Hatred Things He Has Said To Me Over The Past Year. I Just Can't Seem To Let All That Go And Move On With Him!! I Don't Know If I Even Want Too. I Think I Would Be Better Without Him, But I Guess I Am Scared. We Have 2 Wonderful Kids That Are Sadly In The Middle Of This All. I Am Just Soo Tired Of It All. I Am So Stressed And My Nerves Are Shot. I Have Mouth Ulsers And Stomach Probelms, I Can't Sleep, I Am Meaner To My Kids, I Think I Hear Things, Especially At Night, And I Am Having Weird And Yet Soo Real Dreams, When I Finally Do Fall Asleep. When Will All This Stop?? I Need Help!!!!!!

Thanks For Listening.
Many Prayers And Hugs Your Way.
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Old 03-20-2007, 09:37 AM
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I feel your pain...my hubby has been trying to kick his habit for months and now I think he finally has a grasp on it, but he lied to me about so many things and I am scared for the future, when I used to look forward to it. We also have kids (3) and I have had to do everything around here for months...we have been focusing on getting him clean, so I feel like we are going to be dealing with the marriage issues here soon...I know we will get through it, but it is not going to be easy. I feel like he has broken my heart...Good luck! I am brand new to this forum and I am already finding it very helpful! WE NEED A PLACE TO VENT!!!!! Thanks for sharing and I will pray for you!
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Old 03-20-2007, 09:40 AM
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I'm sorry your feeling that way. It is alot to let go. Trust is a hard thing to give up. And it is really hard to forget sometimes. As a user I think we think all is better back to where we left off but fail to relize what we really put the other person through.
Hopefully talking to a counselor will help you deal with it better.
I will be thinking about you.
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Old 03-20-2007, 09:52 AM
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Please don't feel guilty... addicts early in recovery still have many using behaviors... including the "all about me" syndrome. That "hole in the middle" that was filled by drugs, is often something they look to SOMEONE else to fix. The truth is, they have to figure out how to fix the hole, not just fill it... THAT process can take a long time.

I hope your hubby has a sponsor in the program. If so, perhaps he can take some of his concerns about "you" to that sponsor. My bet is the sponsor will have him looking at his own stuff pretty quickly.

*I* always thought it was a good idea for a recovering addict/alcoholic to give the spouse as many years sober as they did using... before coming to decisions about making changes to the relationship.

I wish you the best, and hope that you, too are finding some recovery meetings.

(((hugs)))
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Old 03-20-2007, 10:21 AM
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I totally understand how you feel, my AH has been clean a couple of months. We made a huge move out of state, and I really don't know if I did the right thing. He expects me to be like nothing ever happen, I can't do that. I am trying and I see a huge change in him, but I don't have a button that I turn on and off. There has been too much in the past 2 years that I don't know if I can forget.

Honestly - if I could do it over - I wouldn't be with him now. I felt very weak at the start of all of this, I feel much stronger now. I have no clue of why I am giving him another chance, but at times I wish I wasn't.

I wish you the best of luck - do what is right for you, if you are happy your kids will notice that and they will be happy.
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Old 03-20-2007, 10:39 AM
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sorry you have to go trough allofthis...
i know its not easy,, its along way to build the trust back,,long way and not easy,,,.
i think addicts just cant feel the things we felt when they are using,,, becouse they are kind of numb.. but thier feeings come slowly back,, its so good to vent here,, youre not alone,,.keep coming back here it will help you alot,,.. hugs to you i hope you feel better soon!!
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Old 03-20-2007, 04:48 PM
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i understand what you are feeling and i'm sorry. my rah is just out of rehab about 3 months and we are having the same issue. there is no reason for you to feel guilty, it was his addiction that caused all the damage and i thing that maybe its up to him to be as patient with you as you have been with him. trust when lost is hard to rebuild and i think that its up to him to work at rebuilding that trust by his actions. it takes time and you deserve to take all the time that you need for you to feel good about it. just my opinion. keeping you and yours in my prayers.
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