Bad situation made worse by me. . .
Let me grow up.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Charles, LA
Posts: 201
Bad situation made worse by me. . .
Well, I told my and my exAGF's mutual friend that the next time she hears from my exAGF that she can tell her that I hope she and her exGF are very happy together and that they work out. I also told our mutual friend to tell my exe that if she ever wants to call me that she's more then welcome because I'll be damned if I let her and her ex know how much their staying together bothers me. Because I know they know that I know they're staying together. So I just think that the best way to handle this situation is to show an over abundance of niceness, support and calm. Kill them with kindness and that ain't just the booze talkin' . . .LOL!
Of course, "our" friend thinks I'm full of s@#$ and that this will come around to bite me in the bum but I told her it's my mistake to make. And as the streets put it, "I got this!" I'm too irritated NOT to be in control. I repeat I am not in love with my exAGF but I also know that this is all just a game to her and I know I can beat her at it. However, if this does blow up in my face I'll be coming here to lick my wounds. I just hope you all will have mercy on me!
Yea, I'm going to play the nice, OBJECTIVE friend who has nothing to lose or gain should the two of them bomb out. Pray for me my brothers and sisters. . .I'M GOING IN THE LINE OF FIRE!
Of course, "our" friend thinks I'm full of s@#$ and that this will come around to bite me in the bum but I told her it's my mistake to make. And as the streets put it, "I got this!" I'm too irritated NOT to be in control. I repeat I am not in love with my exAGF but I also know that this is all just a game to her and I know I can beat her at it. However, if this does blow up in my face I'll be coming here to lick my wounds. I just hope you all will have mercy on me!
Yea, I'm going to play the nice, OBJECTIVE friend who has nothing to lose or gain should the two of them bomb out. Pray for me my brothers and sisters. . .I'M GOING IN THE LINE OF FIRE!
Last edited by newblue82; 03-17-2007 at 12:17 AM. Reason: grammar
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewher
Posts: 259
newblue82!!
were always here!! lol fire no fire!!
well u know what lol i think what u said to them is not so bad lol,,, or if its bad its said already'!!! nothing to do lol.. just handle it easy and dont get emotiaonl to much so u dont get hurt!!,,
and really verything wil be ok!!
were always here!! lol fire no fire!!
well u know what lol i think what u said to them is not so bad lol,,, or if its bad its said already'!!! nothing to do lol.. just handle it easy and dont get emotiaonl to much so u dont get hurt!!,,
and really verything wil be ok!!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Motivation...that's my self check all the time. Motivation and expectation. Am I being "nice" because I want the other person to see I am better than someone else and regret that they treated me poorly or am I being nice because I realize I am powerless over others and all I can control is me.
Sometimes too, I have to fake it til I make it. I can pray for those I dislike, but not truly mean it. If I do it often enough, eventually I let go of the resentment and truly mean it.
I'm glad you want to do what works for you and not try to change what "is" today. Good recovery! I wish you all the best and I hope that "acting" nice and wishing them the best despite how irritated you feel becomes feeling at peace with what is in time. Hugs.
Sometimes too, I have to fake it til I make it. I can pray for those I dislike, but not truly mean it. If I do it often enough, eventually I let go of the resentment and truly mean it.
I'm glad you want to do what works for you and not try to change what "is" today. Good recovery! I wish you all the best and I hope that "acting" nice and wishing them the best despite how irritated you feel becomes feeling at peace with what is in time. Hugs.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
"Triangulation" ... learned it at my mamma's knee. I tell sis that mom is [fill in the blank] so she tells mom who doesn't confront me but tells auntie to mention to cousin that I am [fill in the blank] so I get incensed because I heard from cousin....
gah!
Such drama. Yet, it was the norm. It is what I knew how to do. But nothing really ever got said, it was just a way to conduct a war. Even kind things could not be said. Because even kindness hurt.
Perhaps your mutual friend is like me... how I was. Perhaps she enjoys being in the middle and working both sides toward the center. But it seems to me there would be far more clarity, and honesty if she wasn't there.
(((hugs)))
gah!
Such drama. Yet, it was the norm. It is what I knew how to do. But nothing really ever got said, it was just a way to conduct a war. Even kind things could not be said. Because even kindness hurt.
Perhaps your mutual friend is like me... how I was. Perhaps she enjoys being in the middle and working both sides toward the center. But it seems to me there would be far more clarity, and honesty if she wasn't there.
(((hugs)))
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
NewBlue,
Maybe I'm just seeing this from the wrong angle here.
In my opinion, I think I would need to just drop it all, and start living MY life.
What goes on between your EX and their new friend, probably hurts like all heck I would imagine,but you are worth SOOO much more than all this drama, and heartache.
(just my thoughts...sorry if I stepped on toes here....)
Maybe I'm just seeing this from the wrong angle here.
In my opinion, I think I would need to just drop it all, and start living MY life.
What goes on between your EX and their new friend, probably hurts like all heck I would imagine,but you are worth SOOO much more than all this drama, and heartache.
(just my thoughts...sorry if I stepped on toes here....)
Let me grow up.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Charles, LA
Posts: 201
You got a point, Mooselips. I had another friend of mine tell me the same thing that I should just let it go. I'd just be adding fire to the gasoline. I have to admit I haven't been able to shake this thing and it's been stressful. . .almost like dating my AGF all over again! Well, I imagine my message has already been delivered. So I just won't entertain it beyond that. Thanks everyone! You've been a great help
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
New,
As hard as it might be...try and let it go. I know for myself if I obsess on what my exah is or has done it only ended up with me loosing my sanity and stopped me metally from moving on in recovery.
Every now and then I start to think about him with prositutes and within one or two minutes I start going downhill, my mind starts that stinkin thinkin, emotions start going...not a good place to go. Thank goodness I have taught myself how to turn it off and see where it is taking me.
Life is offering you a better road than having to live with the chaos of addiction....grab it!
Rose
As hard as it might be...try and let it go. I know for myself if I obsess on what my exah is or has done it only ended up with me loosing my sanity and stopped me metally from moving on in recovery.
Every now and then I start to think about him with prositutes and within one or two minutes I start going downhill, my mind starts that stinkin thinkin, emotions start going...not a good place to go. Thank goodness I have taught myself how to turn it off and see where it is taking me.
Life is offering you a better road than having to live with the chaos of addiction....grab it!
Rose
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