OMG! Why am I freaking out? This shouldn't bother me!
Let me grow up.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Charles, LA
Posts: 201
OMG! Why am I freaking out? This shouldn't bother me!
Okay, I just got off the phone with my friend, a mutual friend of mine and my exAGF. She told me that my exAGF has moved back in with her old girlfriend. And I don't know why but my heart just dropped into my stomach. I mean this shouldn't bother me but it does. I'm not with her anymore and don't intend on getting back with her so I'm trying to figure this out.
See, I'm guilty of having started a relationship with my AGF while she was still seeing her exGF. As a matter of fact, her exGF and I used to be good friends. I know it was wrong and trust me that I'm not proud of myself. I'd never done anything like it before and always looked down on people who did. I let my feelings and desire over-rule my good judgement and moral fortitude. It's not something I can undo though I wish I could. I vow never to do it again; too many people get hurt all in the name of selfishness and impatience.
Anyway, one thing her exGF told me when she found out about us was that she would always be able to get my AGF back. So I'd had better enjoy while I could. Of course, I didn't believe her because quite vainly, I felt I had more to offer and naively believed since me and my AGF were in love, love would conquer all. I had to learn the hard way that love actually conquers people who give their all to the wrong person.
Looks like she was right though. What does all this mean? Was my AGF playing me for a fool because I have no doubt she's playing her ex for one. I happen to know that my exAGF needed a place to stay because she refused to stay with her mom and her son, her normal refuge, didn't have the space to take her in. I have to say I wouldn't put it past her to sleep with her ex too if it meant she wouldn't have to pay rent as she wasn't in the past in their prior live-in arrangement. And the thought of that makes me sick.
The fact that her exGF also does pills, drinks and does ecstasy doesn't put my mind at ease either. What is going on? How am I going to get pass this? I was doing pretty well in my recovery and now this bomb shell has knocked me on my a$$. Why is there that "something" in me that feels like I need to rescue my exAGF from this?! Help!!!!!!!
See, I'm guilty of having started a relationship with my AGF while she was still seeing her exGF. As a matter of fact, her exGF and I used to be good friends. I know it was wrong and trust me that I'm not proud of myself. I'd never done anything like it before and always looked down on people who did. I let my feelings and desire over-rule my good judgement and moral fortitude. It's not something I can undo though I wish I could. I vow never to do it again; too many people get hurt all in the name of selfishness and impatience.
Anyway, one thing her exGF told me when she found out about us was that she would always be able to get my AGF back. So I'd had better enjoy while I could. Of course, I didn't believe her because quite vainly, I felt I had more to offer and naively believed since me and my AGF were in love, love would conquer all. I had to learn the hard way that love actually conquers people who give their all to the wrong person.
Looks like she was right though. What does all this mean? Was my AGF playing me for a fool because I have no doubt she's playing her ex for one. I happen to know that my exAGF needed a place to stay because she refused to stay with her mom and her son, her normal refuge, didn't have the space to take her in. I have to say I wouldn't put it past her to sleep with her ex too if it meant she wouldn't have to pay rent as she wasn't in the past in their prior live-in arrangement. And the thought of that makes me sick.
The fact that her exGF also does pills, drinks and does ecstasy doesn't put my mind at ease either. What is going on? How am I going to get pass this? I was doing pretty well in my recovery and now this bomb shell has knocked me on my a$$. Why is there that "something" in me that feels like I need to rescue my exAGF from this?! Help!!!!!!!
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
sorry but its not uncommon for an addict to move from one enabler to the next and since you said it, it could be a little revenge. it maybe the drugs thats the attraction, remember, she's an addict.just taking wild guesses here, what do i know? sorry that you are feeling bad, now that this has happened, its hard i know, but it maybe time for you to focus more and more on you. keeping you and all of your friends in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: punta gorda florida
Posts: 381
I'm sorry...What a low blow...You can't rescue her though, you know that. And even if you could, she may like where she is, and all your suffering and worry won't phase her one iota. Go do something that brings you joy. Marian
Let me grow up.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Charles, LA
Posts: 201
I'm really thinking that I'm getting my just desserts. What goes around comes around. I mean it was all WRONG, the type of relationship we had, the way the relationship started, all the lies and all the pain even being with someone with an addiction (who is almost incapable of maintaining a semi-healthy relationship with anyone). I have to take responsibility for my part in all of it.
That's not to say that I don't understand that even for "normal" break-ups it's natural to feel some pain and perhaps jealousy when your ex hooks up with someone else but I have to wonder that if all this had started the RIGHT way if all the drama and hurt could have been avoided. I have to wonder that if me and my AGF could have kept our lives to ourselves in the sense as to not get everyone else involved would the relationship have succeeded. Then again perhaps having the support of others in a tormented relationship was a natural consequence. I think too much. . .LOL.
Anyway, I am feeling a little better. I know I don't want to go THERE with her again. If her ex has the strength to go approx. round 7 with her, then I wish her luck. I've become spoiled and accustomed to my relatively stress free life.
That's not to say that I don't understand that even for "normal" break-ups it's natural to feel some pain and perhaps jealousy when your ex hooks up with someone else but I have to wonder that if all this had started the RIGHT way if all the drama and hurt could have been avoided. I have to wonder that if me and my AGF could have kept our lives to ourselves in the sense as to not get everyone else involved would the relationship have succeeded. Then again perhaps having the support of others in a tormented relationship was a natural consequence. I think too much. . .LOL.
Anyway, I am feeling a little better. I know I don't want to go THERE with her again. If her ex has the strength to go approx. round 7 with her, then I wish her luck. I've become spoiled and accustomed to my relatively stress free life.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
good for you, glad to hear that you're ok. the what if question? well i guess it may have been different if addiction was not in the mix. i got a feeling that you are gonna be just fine. still praying for ya
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: my hearts in NY i'm in FL
Posts: 112
glad you're feeling better. the one thing that might help is to realize that your exagf is an addict and she will use anyone to make herself comfortable. may the chick that she is with is getting her just too.
When someone is activel;y using sometiomes it is best to just let it be. i say go out with some friends this weekend and have a good time.
happy st. patty's day
When someone is activel;y using sometiomes it is best to just let it be. i say go out with some friends this weekend and have a good time.
happy st. patty's day
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