Letting Go of Those Not in Recovery
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Letting Go of Those Not in Recovery
It's time to resurrect a classic:
Letting Go of Those Not In Recovery
We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering.
Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some drank, Some used other drugs. Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior.
Some of us obsessively focused on addicted people's pain to distract us from our own pain. Many of us did both: we developed an addictive behavior and distracted ourselves by focusing on other addicted people. We did not know there was a bridge. We thought we were trapped on a cliff.
Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened, by the Grace of God, because it was time. We saw the bridge. People told us what was on the other side: warmth, light, and healing from our pain. We could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided to start across the bridge anyway.
We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff that there was a bridge to a better place, but they wouldn't listen. They couldn't see it; they couldn't believe it. They were not ready for the journey. We decided to go alone, because we believed, and because people on the other side were cheering us forward. The closer we got to the other side, the more we could see, and feel, that what we had been promised was real. There was light, healing, warmth and love. The other side was a better place.
But now there is a bridge between us and those on the other side. Sometimes we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us., but it cannot be done. No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice. Some will come, some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.
We can love them. We can wave to them. We can holler back and forth. We can cheer them on and encourage them. But we cannot make them come over with us.
If our time has come to cross that bridge, or if we have already crossed it and are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to the dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.
The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that there is a better place. And if others ever do decide to cross over the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.
Today I will move forward with my life, despite what others are doing or not doing. I will know it is my right to cross the bridge to a better life, even if I must leave others behind to do that. I will not feel guilty. I will not feel ashamed. I know that where I am now is a better place and where I am meant to be.
Letting Go of Those Not In Recovery
We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering.
Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some drank, Some used other drugs. Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior.
Some of us obsessively focused on addicted people's pain to distract us from our own pain. Many of us did both: we developed an addictive behavior and distracted ourselves by focusing on other addicted people. We did not know there was a bridge. We thought we were trapped on a cliff.
Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened, by the Grace of God, because it was time. We saw the bridge. People told us what was on the other side: warmth, light, and healing from our pain. We could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided to start across the bridge anyway.
We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff that there was a bridge to a better place, but they wouldn't listen. They couldn't see it; they couldn't believe it. They were not ready for the journey. We decided to go alone, because we believed, and because people on the other side were cheering us forward. The closer we got to the other side, the more we could see, and feel, that what we had been promised was real. There was light, healing, warmth and love. The other side was a better place.
But now there is a bridge between us and those on the other side. Sometimes we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us., but it cannot be done. No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice. Some will come, some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.
We can love them. We can wave to them. We can holler back and forth. We can cheer them on and encourage them. But we cannot make them come over with us.
If our time has come to cross that bridge, or if we have already crossed it and are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to the dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.
The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that there is a better place. And if others ever do decide to cross over the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.
Today I will move forward with my life, despite what others are doing or not doing. I will know it is my right to cross the bridge to a better life, even if I must leave others behind to do that. I will not feel guilty. I will not feel ashamed. I know that where I am now is a better place and where I am meant to be.
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that there is a better place. And if others ever do decide to cross over the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.
Today I needed to remind myself that each of us has to make our own journey. It's not my job to drag you kicking and screaming to MY place of recovery and serenity. It doesn't work like that!
Sometimes we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us., but it cannot be done. No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice. Some will come, some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.
Hugs and love
~ Cat
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I love that reading too, Cat, and am grateful for you posting it today.
I know that nobody could drag me over that bridge, I had to decide on my own that I wanted what was on the other side. I must remember that more often.
Hugs
I know that nobody could drag me over that bridge, I had to decide on my own that I wanted what was on the other side. I must remember that more often.
Hugs
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