cinderellawkids

My kids had a sleep over this weekend. Theyve been planning for 6 weeks. Their closest friends they wanted to meet their old friends stood them up. (Of course I dont blame the kids.)
The mom was supposed to come and habng out with me and the girls saturday night as well.

The kids have all talked about this non-stop. Friday evening when I got my kids from her house, she mentioned how excited they were and she was looking forward to coming for some girl time too.

3 times on Saturday the 10 year old called and said what time do you want us there. I said 5:30.
They were not tehre at 6:30. I started calling house and parents cells. no answer. At 7 the 10 year old answered. I said Hey are you still coming ? He said hold on and got on the phone and said yeah we'll be there soon. For the rest of the night no kids and no answer. All day long yesterday no answer on any of there phones. I left several messages saying please call em Im worried, I assume someone's in the hospital, let me know everyone is okay. No answer. I tried all morning today (because she watches my kids a few afternoons a week.) Finally calling from an odd numbered work phone she answers. I dont mention SATurday just say is everyone okay? SHe said sure fine. Then real quick, I gotta go my phone battery is dying and hung up.

What would you think?

(BTW-My 9 year old cried all day about his best friend not even calling to say they werent coming.)

Do I say anything, because this truthfully shows lack of character and maturity (iMO).

This all really disturbs me.....

Jewelz

To me it seems odd that they havent called. Do you think maybe something happened that she's uncomfortable explaining to you? I'm sorry your kids were hurt.. sending them hugs. I dont know if you should bring it up or not are you two close?

Jewel

cinderellawkids

I thought we were very close.

My first instinct that night said maybe the parents were fighting.
Then maybe the Dad decided he didnt want them staying over, but no matter what I see a lack of character by no call and then her acting shocked when I asked if everyone was all right.

From my experiences my "Substance abuse" radar is going off like crazy.

She did say "Of course" when I asked if she was still able to watch the kids today, so Im curious to here what the 9 year old blabs to my 9 year old.

Then starting next week I ahve other afterschol care arrangements

BigSis

It sounds like she is embarrassed and should be. I don't know her history - is she an A or married to one? If so, it could be the chaos of addiction has interfered.

I hope she explains, but wouldn't hold my breath while waiting.

(((hugs)))

teke

you may agree that sometimes people just don't understand what its like, maybe they don't realize that you are protecting your kids as well as she protects hers, either way try not to read too much into her actions, or take so much of her actions personal. i hope that you can explain things to your daughter and i hope that she feels better.

cinderellawkids

She and her husband are not A's(to my factual knowledge). Yet there is lots in their family so a number of chaos scenarois could have happened. (His exwife and mother are A's.)
However, (here comes the codie in me)you'll never see her anywhere with out a fresh large glass of coca cola. (Literally everywhere, in the car, street ect.)

Her standing me up doesnt bother me, but you dont do that to children.

stefanie

I remember things like that happening a few times when my boys
were young. They would make plans for a sleepover with their friends-
nobody checking with Mom and Dad first! This I solved by always calling
the other parents. Not sure if this applies in this situation, it sounds
like a chaotic household on the other end. Sorry the kids had to suffer
that isnt right.

Elana

This is a tough thing and I recall this happening when I was a child.

As a child I got over it and so will yours. It is part of life's less pleasant lessons.. that sometimes things don't go as planned and that can be disappointing.

There are likely other reasons for this that they are not willing to share with you. You cannot change it and you cannot fix it and without them telling you, there may never be a reason you can understand. Best to let it go.

Just love your children and go do something with them that is fun and special without dwelling on it. If your kids bring it up just answer honestly and "I don't know" is an answer.

FWIW (and you can slap me down if you all disagree) I would not encourage my kid to gossip regarding his firend or the situation (no matter how much you want to know things). Let him tell you if he brings it up. He will sooner or later and letting him decide when to talk about it might be best.

I wish sometimes when I got disappointed as a kid I had not been asked and I wish even more I had not ended up in a discussion which judged my friends and or their families. I am not saying you will do this at all... just sort of thinking out loud.

It is a tough thing to raise kids. They don't come with an instruction book!

Please ignore what I am saying if you want to as I do not have children...