sorting my head out
Just plainly tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
sorting my head out
Ok I am kinda just using the forum to work out my thoughts here. He got paid on friday, he paid his cell phone, paid his mom for watching our son, gave me $340. and spent money on that crap. I was surprised when he gave me the money even though he promised because I just didnt expect it at all.
But this weekend I was angry at him, angry at the world.... I was literally a B on wheels. He stayed home all day yesterday... didnt use anything. Typically on the weekend when we all are home he will stay home and not do any drugs... and then I fall back into the "wifey" who cooks, clean and acts like everything is all peachy. This weekend I couldnt do it... I cleaned what I had to... cook what I needed for the kids but as for him I didnt bother with him. I was just angry.... I have a bad habbit when I smoke In my kitchen I put the cigarette out and leave it by the edge of the sink.... I notice I only do this when my head isn't on straight but anyways he sees this and asks me why do you do that just put it out in the ash tray and I looked at him and asked him why he smoked crack. He didn't say anything and stood quiet.
My family kept calling me non stop, my mom, neice where arguing with my sister, so my mom and sister kept calling back and forth complaining about eachother. At the same time my father was calling me about his probelms with his wife thinking shes cheating and all of this was back to back, Michael wasn't feeling well, my daughter will be ten and now thinks shes grown and talks back all the time. And he's doing his own thing. All I wanted to do was scream all weekend. I felt like I was being pulled and wanted to tell everyone to leave me alone. I dont call anyone anymore about anything and I just wanted to say i cant help you, I have my own problems but I couldnt do it. Today I am exhausted and want to sleep, losing the hour sleep isn't helping either.
I feel better dont feel as angry as I was.... I wish at times people could just leave me alone. I dont know how to tell them or dont know how not to answer when I know they have a problem.
Jewel
But this weekend I was angry at him, angry at the world.... I was literally a B on wheels. He stayed home all day yesterday... didnt use anything. Typically on the weekend when we all are home he will stay home and not do any drugs... and then I fall back into the "wifey" who cooks, clean and acts like everything is all peachy. This weekend I couldnt do it... I cleaned what I had to... cook what I needed for the kids but as for him I didnt bother with him. I was just angry.... I have a bad habbit when I smoke In my kitchen I put the cigarette out and leave it by the edge of the sink.... I notice I only do this when my head isn't on straight but anyways he sees this and asks me why do you do that just put it out in the ash tray and I looked at him and asked him why he smoked crack. He didn't say anything and stood quiet.
My family kept calling me non stop, my mom, neice where arguing with my sister, so my mom and sister kept calling back and forth complaining about eachother. At the same time my father was calling me about his probelms with his wife thinking shes cheating and all of this was back to back, Michael wasn't feeling well, my daughter will be ten and now thinks shes grown and talks back all the time. And he's doing his own thing. All I wanted to do was scream all weekend. I felt like I was being pulled and wanted to tell everyone to leave me alone. I dont call anyone anymore about anything and I just wanted to say i cant help you, I have my own problems but I couldnt do it. Today I am exhausted and want to sleep, losing the hour sleep isn't helping either.
I feel better dont feel as angry as I was.... I wish at times people could just leave me alone. I dont know how to tell them or dont know how not to answer when I know they have a problem.
Jewel
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
sounds like you've had an overwhelming wkend, maybe it time for you to somehow get away from it all and get some rest. hope you can find more time to take care of you, maybe every once in awhile you could turn off the ringer and just focus on you and whatever quiet time you can find for you. keeping you and your family in my prayers.
seems like your family really trust you in problem solving. take care of you
seems like your family really trust you in problem solving. take care of you
I'm HOME!!!!!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Hot flash city
Posts: 573
It does seem like sometimes the world is overwhelming doesn't it. And it does help to be here and be able to vent. Somehow seeing it down in black and white helps!!
Take some much needed time for you!!! Remember, we're all here for you!
NSW
Take some much needed time for you!!! Remember, we're all here for you!
NSW
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
I agree you need time for yourself. I got that way yesterday myself, and this morning I was real angry.
It kind of reminds me of a plaque my grandma used to have that said "Men work from Sun to Sun but a woman's work is never done." ( For me that was where my anger was coming from, never mind my husband managed to work 6 10 hour days and 4 hours on Sunday, I never rest.
It kind of reminds me of a plaque my grandma used to have that said "Men work from Sun to Sun but a woman's work is never done." ( For me that was where my anger was coming from, never mind my husband managed to work 6 10 hour days and 4 hours on Sunday, I never rest.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
"Caller Id" Jewelz.... just let the calls go to the machine. If you can't afford the caller id, put a pillow over the phone, or take it off the hook.
If those calls are sucking away the energy you need to deal with your own and the kids' needs... then that boundary is a responsible thing to do.
(((hugs))) Oh yeah... and maybe find some extra meetings?
If those calls are sucking away the energy you need to deal with your own and the kids' needs... then that boundary is a responsible thing to do.
(((hugs))) Oh yeah... and maybe find some extra meetings?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewher
Posts: 259
jewelz.
i hope you feel better soon,, ohh sometime slife i overwelming iknow...
i think u need to take ur time off everyone and give this time to urself. u need abreak,, sowhjat i do when i feel likethis ,, i dont unswer the phone,, too bad so sad,, lol. have ur time no one will die,, you need abreak froma ll the talking about problems,, u have ur own , enough,.
and do something for yourself,, go to the mall,, or for a walk,, ,, do something to ease ur mind from all the problems.
i know sometimes its hardto be the good wife that cleans and cooks and show that everything is ok,, so on days likethis ,, just go outside,,if u cant leave the kids at home take them with u and go do something nice.
im sendning hugs and prayers foryou and ur family
.
i hope you feel better soon,, ohh sometime slife i overwelming iknow...
i think u need to take ur time off everyone and give this time to urself. u need abreak,, sowhjat i do when i feel likethis ,, i dont unswer the phone,, too bad so sad,, lol. have ur time no one will die,, you need abreak froma ll the talking about problems,, u have ur own , enough,.
and do something for yourself,, go to the mall,, or for a walk,, ,, do something to ease ur mind from all the problems.
i know sometimes its hardto be the good wife that cleans and cooks and show that everything is ok,, so on days likethis ,, just go outside,,if u cant leave the kids at home take them with u and go do something nice.
im sendning hugs and prayers foryou and ur family
.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((Jewelz))))
What a weekend! You definitely need some much needed and deserved "YOU" time. I agree with Bigsis. Take the phone off the hook.
Sometimes, I feel like answering my phone, by saying, "if your not dying or in the hospital...it can wait", and then just hang up. lol
I just want you to know, you can vent anytime here. Your in a good, safe place where we all care about you and your mental state.
That's what you need...a mental health day. Just for you.
A long drive, a park bench, a good book, a bubble bath, ect.
You can make it happen by putting on the brakes and just say, "not right now".
Here for ya, sweetie. Get busy doing something for YOU!
Love ya,
Linda
Whoa, I didn't know how big that was. lol
I think I'll keep it on there anyway. Consider it a BIG hint. lol
What a weekend! You definitely need some much needed and deserved "YOU" time. I agree with Bigsis. Take the phone off the hook.
Sometimes, I feel like answering my phone, by saying, "if your not dying or in the hospital...it can wait", and then just hang up. lol
I just want you to know, you can vent anytime here. Your in a good, safe place where we all care about you and your mental state.
That's what you need...a mental health day. Just for you.
A long drive, a park bench, a good book, a bubble bath, ect.
You can make it happen by putting on the brakes and just say, "not right now".
Here for ya, sweetie. Get busy doing something for YOU!
Love ya,
Linda
Whoa, I didn't know how big that was. lol
I think I'll keep it on there anyway. Consider it a BIG hint. lol
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
The Old Family Chaos! I had a dose of that this weekend myself.
I went to stay with my friend for the weekend and my cell rang, my sister, her and my mom were fighting...booze induced.
I have to agree...I think you need some Jewel Time.
Rose
I went to stay with my friend for the weekend and my cell rang, my sister, her and my mom were fighting...booze induced.
I have to agree...I think you need some Jewel Time.
Rose
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
