Blogs


Notices

Loved Ones in Prison

Old 12-06-2007, 01:37 PM
  # 341 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Might have been him, Cindi! LOL You know he was a nice looking guy, had the girls falling all over him all day long. One even came and asked for his cell#.
(I was just thinking, if only they knew what they were in for!)
:codiepolice
rayofsunshine is offline  
Old 12-06-2007, 01:40 PM
  # 342 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
You are right, Ray, once the light comes on, nothing ever looks the same again. Your co-worker annoys you so much because he hits a little too close to home. Addicts are cry babies who blame everybody and everything for their problems except themselves.

You will do just fine. It would be hard to imagine you accepting that sort of behavior from someone in your own home (just the THOUGHT of living with it again makes me shudder!)

Keep the Christmas Angels of Gratitude close around you, Ray. The enlightenment you have gained in the last 19 years has changed your life forever. Never again will you be blind to the manipulation of sick, selfish people. And THAT is truly a blessing.

Mwah!
Babs
Babs is offline  
Old 12-06-2007, 01:46 PM
  # 343 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Thanks Babs. I bought a new angel a few days ago. It is really beautiful with a bulb that slowly changes different colors. I am grateful that I have finally seen the light. Today feels like a little test, and has shown me how I really will stand firm against this kind of behavior, especially in my home. I can choose not to be around that kind of behavior. I do have a choice.
rayofsunshine is offline  
Old 12-06-2007, 01:47 PM
  # 344 (permalink)  
Member
 
sadness123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 61
Hello everyone. What happened to all the other pages? Im home sick today. Anyways yesterday was the best day ever. My mom she called me while I was at school and left a message with her number. Then I called her back and we caught up on everything. It was the best.
sadness123 is offline  
Old 12-06-2007, 01:52 PM
  # 345 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Hi Sadness, the site crashed several days ago and some of the posts were lost.
That's great about you and your mom. Hope you get well soon!
rayofsunshine is offline  
Old 12-06-2007, 02:01 PM
  # 346 (permalink)  
Member
 
cinderellawkids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Blog Entries: 1
As long as his name wasnt Dan. LOL I cant keep up with where he's working, background checks come back and he's outta there. At least i finally got a money order, better than more promises
cinderellawkids is offline  
Old 12-06-2007, 02:37 PM
  # 347 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
Sadness, it is wonderful that you got a chance to connect with your Mom. There is something about Christmas that just seems to promote miracles....and the expression of love in a family is surely one of them.

Things are looking up, Sadness!

Babs
Babs is offline  
Old 12-06-2007, 09:36 PM
  # 348 (permalink)  
Member
 
sadness123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 61
Hello everyone. Dreams just keep coming true. Im meeting my Momma at the mall next Saturday. That was one my wish. To be with my family at the mall. But im going to tried to get it changed to this weekend, so my lil sister to come. She will be 3 on the 29th. This is the best present ever. No one can top this. I kind of want to meet her boyfriend to. Just to see want I think of him. Well I got to go get some rest for school tomarrow. Good Night.
sadness123 is offline  
Old 12-07-2007, 05:15 PM
  # 349 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
That's great Sadness. Christmas is the season of miracles!


Hope everyone has a good weekend!
rayofsunshine is offline  
Old 12-07-2007, 11:21 PM
  # 350 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
I was at work tonight out of town when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I answered it because I.....well.....I'm not sure why I answered it, but I did. It was my X. He is out of rehab. He is in a half-way house. He wants to "talk."

Do y'all hear that music? Is it the merry-go-round? Up and down, round and round!

I am feeling a myriad of emotions. I'm glad that he is doing well and has been released. I am annoyed that he is making waves in my nice, calm life. I am scared that I will feel more for him than I know is good for me. I am scared that I will be colder and more unfeeling than I know is kind.

I feel open and vulnerable and confused.

Where's that damn rocking chair? I need to curl up in someone's lap tonight and have them tell ME it is going to be okay.

I think, very shortly, I am going to find out how many lessons I have actually learned and how much of my rhetoric is just hot air.

Life with addiction.....just one adventure after another........

I love you guys.
Babs
Babs is offline  
Old 12-08-2007, 04:47 AM
  # 351 (permalink)  
Member
 
cinderellawkids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Blog Entries: 1
I am sorry Babs. You have grown so much this past year you are strong and you can do it.

Hugs

Rock Rock Rock
cinderellawkids is offline  
Old 12-08-2007, 06:08 PM
  # 352 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Babs,
Dig deep inside yourself for all those words of wisdom you give us.
Remember, actions not words when talking to your X. Words mean nothing without action. This is YOUR life ... you get to make the choices. Do YOU want to "talk" to him?

Sorry, I don't have alot to offer as I'm still struggling too. AH usually
calls on Friday nite. Haven't heard from him last night or tonight either.
Not sure whats up with that.
We'll all rock together. ROCK ROCK ROCK
rayofsunshine is offline  
Old 12-08-2007, 06:51 PM
  # 353 (permalink)  
Member
 
cinderellawkids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Blog Entries: 1
Sunshine you dont know how those words are helping me right now too. Im climbing up into the chair as well tonite, atleast we'll all be warm
cinderellawkids is offline  
Old 12-08-2007, 09:54 PM
  # 354 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
Thanks, Girlfriends! In the end, it is only somebody who has gone through it that truly understands our feelings.

I think it got to me so much because it caught me off guard (I discovered that I have learned to live with my guard consistently down....how lovely!) I thought I had 6 more months before I had to deal with him. Anyhow, in the light of day, it didn't seem as scary as it did last night. Funny how that works.....

I will be okay. I sat out on my front porch this evening and watched the sun set and reflected on how calm and gentle my life has become in the last year. I will NOT let go of that. It isn't what I am keeping OUT of my life that is important, it is what I am holding onto. I will focus on the good stuff.....living in a calm, peaceful environment...being gentle with myself....loving my home and being able to feel safe here... Those are the things that will give me the strength to do what I need to do for me.

I so appreciated your verbal hugs when I found myself in a weak moment! I literally imagined us crawling up into our big old comfy rocking chair and giving each other comfort.

I love you guys.
Babs
Babs is offline  
Old 12-09-2007, 07:10 PM
  # 355 (permalink)  
Member
 
sadness123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 61
Hello Everyone. My dream didnt come true and wont till after Christmas because I cant go to the the mall till after the Christmas season is over. And I couldnt go any where with all the bad weather. But next weekend we are probably meeting up in the bowling alley. But my litttle sis wont be able to come because she will be at her dads. Things are going good for the most part. My life is startin to go better. Im more happy. Me and my momma had kinda a funny convo today.
me: How old do u have to be to move out
momma: 16 i think
me:im movin out as soon as i can
momma's bf: tell her it would be easier for her to stay were she is till after she gets out of school
momma: no she can come move in with me, we will talk aboutit more when ti gets closer to that time

Its kind of funny but not really. I want to meet her boyfriend. He has a 5 year old girl named Emily. g2g
sadness123 is offline  
Old 12-10-2007, 06:37 AM
  # 356 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
I am so glad you are able to talk with your Mom. I am sure that she misses you, too. There is nothing more important to a Mother than her children, and when circumstances get in the way of them being together, everyone feels it.

You actually sound much happier than you used to, Sadness. We might have to change your name!

Bowling is a great idea. It's fun and gives your meeting a focus other than just talking. It will help you build a fresh new relationship with your Mom and Step Dad based on fun, positive things.

Speaking of your Step Dad, cut him a little slack for a while....watch out for expectations. Remember that he has never had a teen-age daughter before..... It may take him a little while to get comfortable with the new situation.

Good luck, Sadness. Keep us posted on how it goes.

Mwah!
Babs
Babs is offline  
Old 12-12-2007, 09:33 PM
  # 357 (permalink)  
Member
 
sadness123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 61
I am a lot happyer now. Like I have got in trouble 2 days in a row and had to call home and I just callled her instead of my grandma. It saves me from getting in trouble cause she just tells me to be good. And I havent met my momma's boyfriend yet. I want to wait at least a month to meet him. We are suppose to go bowlin this weekend but I dont know if it will work.
I think a girl needs 2 things to be happy. Her momma and daddy. I now have contact with both. So im much happyer. Family is the most important thing in everyone's life. They help make you who you are today. They make you truely more happy. Without family you dont have much.
sadness123 is offline  
Old 12-12-2007, 10:19 PM
  # 358 (permalink)  
Member
 
sadness123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 61
But there still is 1 problem left. Its that boy. I realize I made a mistake by letting him go. But how do I get him back? He what I want. Im going to try to get hima christmas present and see if that will work. I been waiting for him and his girlfriend to break up. And its not like I just want a little fling or short term relationship. I can see him in my life when I get older. We have talked about it before. We have even talked about what we would name our kids if we had kids and how old we want to be when we have kids and how we would disipline them and how we would raise them. Now what teenage kids have talked about all that? That is like conversation you would expect from like 18 or older people not younger people. I can acturally see myself marring him.
I have told him I liked him once but thats it. And im afraid to ask him or tell him again. Help me please I need advice. Can I get a boy and girl prespective on this?
sadness123 is offline  
Old 12-15-2007, 01:46 PM
  # 359 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Sadness, Glad you are getting to know your mom, again. About the boy, you're still young... too young to worry about forever right now. My 17 year old daughter dated a boy for 2 years, they've been broken up since July... she told me the other day she realized how much being tied down to this one boy stunk, looking back. Just don't settle. You are worth the best. If this boy is it, then it will work out in time.
rayofsunshine is offline  
Old 12-15-2007, 01:54 PM
  # 360 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Hi everyone... well last week I mentioned how AH hadn't called on Friday like he normally does. He didn't call all week. But he did call this Friday. Asked me if I noticed he'd given me a break. I told him yeah, I figured you "were in the hole". (Solitary confinement they get in prison for getting in trouble.) Anyways, he said he thought he'd give me a break, and acted like everything's just hunky dory. Asked me if I knew how many days until he gets home. I haven't been counting, I just know it's mid January. (It depends on how many merit days he gets, etc.) Well today, its 22 days, if he works down to his minimum release date.

I'm not real excited, don't have high hopes or any expectations. What happens happens. I feel so cold and unforgiving, but I'm not willing to live
like I was living ever again. Either he does well or he's out (quickly).

So there's the update on me. How's everyone else doing? Anyone want to check in or update? Babs, Hello-Kitty, Cindy, LifeChange, Dakota, anyone else?
rayofsunshine is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:58 AM.