Just when it was getting better
 

Hey all! Well, AH did not relapse, unfortunately I did mentally. We went to the counselor this week and we have been talking a lot. Things have been going really well, it is like having the old him back. We have been laughing and he has been so thoughtful. I finally put my wedding rings back. (I took them off when I kicked him out a month ago.) Then the cellphone bill came yesterday. He had admitted to me that he had talked to his internet pal on his cell. Well, I found 27 calls and over 100 text messages. Now I am back to being really pissed. I don't know if I wrote before that I actually called and talked to this woman or not. At first ofcourse, she lied and said they were catching up on things from high school, then when I told her I had copies of the emails exchanged, she changed her tune. She just kept apologizing and was worried I was going to call her husband. (Which I am still battling with wanting to and knowing that it is wrong) She also has 3 children. So here I am back at the angry phase and not knowing what to do. He has not called her since he went into rehab, at least not on his phone, but like I said earlier, he is going to our hometown in a week and a half and will have the opportunity to see her. Whether he will or not is beyond me. He swears he will not but.... Sorry for going on and on I just am so angry I could spit nails

Pip, you can't change what has already happened, no matter how much you want to. I'd be angry too, but I also know that anger can eat us alive.

Maybe set your mind on today, give it a new start and let his actions today represent the person he is trying to be. He's in rehab, that's a good start, and maybe a new beginning for both of you.

This is easy for me to say, and not always easy to do, but living in today can only be done when we let go of the anger from the past and let go of the fear of the future. Enjoy today, it's where we are.

Hugs

i agree with ann, you have a fresh start, do what you can to take advantage of it. when you think about the hurt, try praying about it and the people involved, it has help me to began the process of getting through my ah and what i believe to be his infidelities. you can get through it, but reliving the past doesn't help. whats done is done. not excusing anything but it was the internet, not upfront and in person like mine was. please belive me, i'm not making light of your situation, cheating is cheating and it hurts no matter what level. just trying to say, it could have been a whole lot worse. he's an addict trying to recover and all kinds of stuff come out sometimes after recovery. you said it yourself, that he hasn't contacted her since rehab.

try not to futurize so much about what MIGHT happen when he goes home. don't sound like this lady is trying to do much more that may put her marriage in danger either. i pray that you can one day get pass this. time will let you know what you need to know and do, until you know, just try to stay prepared. take care of yourself.

With issues of trust and betrayal, anger is bound to come up. I don't blame you for feeling as you do. I suggest you write about your anger and fear.
Let it all out as you write. When you are finished, turn it all over to your HP.
Leave all the inner turmoil in HPs hands.
Do something special for you today. Something that makes you feel happy and cherished. You can meet tomorrow's challenges with courage, strength and dignity. We care and support you.
Hugs