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Got a call last night

Old 03-06-2007, 05:43 AM
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Got a call last night

From one of my daughters childhood friends, who proceeded to tell me when my grandson was a baby, my daughter was doing crack. OMG!!!

I told her, I was having difficulty with people who called themselves my daughters friends, but who wouldn't tell me she was on drugs. That perhaps, at the very least I coulda stepped in and taken my grandson many years ago, and protected him from all he was exposed to.

She then proceeded to tell me how she had given my daughter names of people she could get drugs from, and was feeling guilty. I did tell her, that it didn't matter. My daughter woulda got the information from someoone else, but I sure hoped if her kids got involved with drugs, someone would be kind enough to tell her.

Anyway, then she asked if I thought she should come down to find my daughter, I told her, do whatever you want....I really don't care. She wanted to know if my daughter had track marks on her arms, and I told her I really didn't want to discuss it, because my grandson was in the next room, and he's heard enough sh*& in his little life. What the he11 is wrong with people. Anyway, just venting here, been working the past 2 days and go in for 2 nights now...missed the excitement of the forum disappearing and thank God....I woulda had major anxiety...lol.
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Old 03-06-2007, 06:04 AM
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((((NSW))))
You handled that well...you're a strong gal NSW.
I don't know why others seem to think they're "doing" something good by dragging us back in.
Keep doing what you're doing, and vent here...it tends to land on deaf ears elsewhere, I think.
You are not responsible for her guilt, or what she does to make herself feel better.
What a blessing you are to that little guy
((((hugs))))
Cece
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Old 03-06-2007, 06:26 AM
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i also think u handled that well. i do not understand people telling u things that happened yrs. ago anyway. my prayers r for u & your daughter & that precious grandson.
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Old 03-06-2007, 06:30 AM
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When my son was born he had to stay in the hospital for two weeks because he was underweight. One of my brother-in-law's friends actually asked me if it was true that "the baby is going to die'". The look of rapt curiosity on his face was really amazing. People just suck sometimes. BTW the "baby" is about to turn 18
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Old 03-06-2007, 06:38 AM
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((NSW))
No words. I'm still picking up my jaw from reading how you're just now getting this odd phone call. You handled yourself way better than I probably would.
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Old 03-06-2007, 06:41 AM
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NSW you handled it great. I think next time you shouldn't take phone calls from her daughters so called friends.

Hugs,
Jewel
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Old 03-06-2007, 07:00 AM
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sorry you had to go through that, but for her to do that, sounds to me like she may be an addict too. don't know if you can pay too much attention to what any addict has to say. make you wonder what was the motive behind her calling you with that.

i think that you handled that very well. the nerve of some people. still praying for all of you.
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Old 03-06-2007, 07:14 AM
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I cannot believe that she called you....

way to go on the way you handled it...

some friend she was....

love you momma !!!

~B
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Old 03-06-2007, 07:20 AM
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not -

about 7 years ago an old boyfriend called - i was watching my non addicted sisters(d) kids while she and her recovering addicted (r) husband were in china - my currently addicted sister (j) had just watched the kids for a few days before i got there - old boyfriend called to say that j was bringing kids with her to some crack house - he was concerned - because she seemed to lose all sense - apparently he could smoke crack and was sensible about it - i freaked - that is when my ex bil became an ex - he divorced sister not long after she was bringing her older boys - then babies - to a crack house - sorry to go on about me here - i guess i just wanted to say i understand - and it still sucks - i think he called because he was worried she had sunk to a new low - maybe your daughters friend wanted to create some new drama or maybe she just wanted to cleanse her sould somehow - crack and kids - addiction - it makes no sense - ever - does it??????

with love,
s
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Old 03-06-2007, 07:48 AM
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I told her, I was having difficulty with people who called themselves my daughters friends, but who wouldn't tell me she was on drugs. That perhaps, at the very least I coulda stepped in and taken my grandson many years ago, and protected him from all he was exposed to.
First - good for you! This needed to be said, I think.

Second - it is still second hand information, and from the friend's POV and memory. You don't know what happened, how often, or when. And above all, it is in the past and cannot be changed... ((hugs))

You've been through a lot, NSW, and have enough right in the "here and now" to keep you busy. No regrets from the past, 'kay?

(((NSW)))
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Old 03-06-2007, 08:15 AM
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It sounds like this "friend" wants some dope to me....((((nsw))) take it easy and take good care....
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Old 03-06-2007, 08:26 AM
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Sounds weird she called unless she finally cleaned up her act and is now trying to save your daughter seeing that she is probably the one who introduced her to alot of the drugs that got her off and running so to speak. Than again as an addict maybe she was just thinking about herself and wanted to make herself feel better that maybe she helped some. Either way I think it takes alot of balls for her to call herself a friend. With friends like that who needs enemys!
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Old 03-06-2007, 11:00 AM
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(((((((Linda))))))))
You are such a wonderful mother and grandmother. I'm so sorry this "friend" brought more drama into your life. You handled things very well. Lots of prayers for you and your family. You are such a class act!!
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Old 03-06-2007, 11:44 AM
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nsw,

Wish I could get out a big squeegee and just erase this bit of unnecessary drama from your life. Some people just have extremely poor social skills....sigh.

I love the way you handled it, though.

Hugs to you,
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Old 03-06-2007, 01:45 PM
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Just wanted to say thanks to all who responded....the forum seems to be experiencing difficulty with the thank you button.....as usual, you guys give a much needed pick me up
thanks
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Old 03-06-2007, 03:34 PM
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Might be playing devil's advocate again but sometimes people even "friends" just feel that certain family issues aren't any of their business. You know, not their place to disclose someone else's secrets or problems. Suppose her friend had told you, you may have very well been one of those mother's who'd flat out call the friend a liar in disbelief that your child would do such a thing to herself or her unborn child. It happens like that often.

You've stepped in and have taken your grandson away from a bad situation and that shows amazing strength on your part. You're a terrific grandmother but try not to be so hard on the friend. Yes, she "enabled" your daughter but we're guilty of enabling the addicts in our lives as well. We have to tell ourselves not to beat ourselves up about it because we care about them and we're ignorant as to how to help otherwise. It takes education to know how to properly react to these kinds of situations. Her friend(s) are only human. Of course, it is your perrogative as to how to best handle those kinds of phone calls from here on out and certainly your first priority to protect your grandson from overexposure.
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Old 03-06-2007, 04:54 PM
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(((((nsw)))))

I think you handled that with poise and purpose.
I'm so proud of you. Good recovery tools, ya got there, lady.

Love and continued prayers out to you, your daughter, and grandson.
Linda
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Old 03-06-2007, 05:27 PM
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((NSW))

ditto with the others, you did handle it great - as per usual dear -

As for the friend, i don't know what she wanted with that phone call (make amend or else??) but i kinda think the same as newblue here. I don't know if me, if i had a best addicted friend, would tell the family. I'd think it's not my place to tell....Just my thoughts. Difficult position.

Anyway, take care of you & grandson

Hugs
Carine
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