Holding my nerve....
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Holding my nerve....
I once thought of holding my nerve as relating just to my old job horse breaking!! I used to say it isn't the horse which I need to tame (that's the easier bit), what we REALLY had to tame was our own fear. Lately I'm wondering if this is true of far more than the first time you place your weight on a young horses back and put your fate in the hands of your beliefs and skill.
I watched an inspirational drama at the weekend about a retired head teacher who returned to work in order to turn a school round after the last head teacher was stabbed. She began at the begining, she continued through opposition, she was both reasoned and sure.
She succeeded and one of the last scenes was her giving advice to a previously very awkward pupil who had said she'd like to grow up to be like the headmistress. The advice she gave was 'Hold your nerve'.
At work I've been holding my nerve for a long time and soon either it will pay off or it won't. I'm still holding my nerve - but it's never been a task I perfected!!
Thinking back through last year and the times people encouraged me to trust my gut - it wasn't until I realised I would HAVE TO hold my nerve that things began to change inside me. Until then I had swung between courage and feeling totally overwhelmed. Eventually I realised being overwhelmed gave me NOTHING in return - so right or wrong courage was the better option.
I'm begining to look back and it's crossing my mind that much of life isn't about the tasks we face, more about the tasks we face inside ourselves, that we don't overcome hardship as much as we overcome the emotions and thoughts which divert and damage.
I think I need to think about this, I think maybe I can gain something in drawing on ALL my experiences breaking fear and self doubt - I was wrong to think that process only lay within a job which made it visible.
I watched an inspirational drama at the weekend about a retired head teacher who returned to work in order to turn a school round after the last head teacher was stabbed. She began at the begining, she continued through opposition, she was both reasoned and sure.
She succeeded and one of the last scenes was her giving advice to a previously very awkward pupil who had said she'd like to grow up to be like the headmistress. The advice she gave was 'Hold your nerve'.
At work I've been holding my nerve for a long time and soon either it will pay off or it won't. I'm still holding my nerve - but it's never been a task I perfected!!
Thinking back through last year and the times people encouraged me to trust my gut - it wasn't until I realised I would HAVE TO hold my nerve that things began to change inside me. Until then I had swung between courage and feeling totally overwhelmed. Eventually I realised being overwhelmed gave me NOTHING in return - so right or wrong courage was the better option.
I'm begining to look back and it's crossing my mind that much of life isn't about the tasks we face, more about the tasks we face inside ourselves, that we don't overcome hardship as much as we overcome the emotions and thoughts which divert and damage.
I think I need to think about this, I think maybe I can gain something in drawing on ALL my experiences breaking fear and self doubt - I was wrong to think that process only lay within a job which made it visible.
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Eventually I realised being overwhelmed gave me NOTHING in return - so right or wrong courage was the better option.
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life isn't about the tasks we face, more about the tasks we face inside ourselves, that we don't overcome hardship as much as we overcome the emotions and thoughts which divert and damage
One brief hour...
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I'm begining to look back and it's crossing my mind that much of life isn't about the tasks we face, more about the tasks we face inside ourselves, that we don't overcome hardship as much as we overcome the emotions and thoughts which divert and damage.
! So true EQ and it is all about how we handle the situation rather than the situation itself. We choose what will "make" or "break" us IMO. And BTW- you are courageous my friend.
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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I like this post for a number of reasons.
But, I don't think we "choose" that which will make or break us. Indeed, I've been researching the whole concept of resilience lately, and discussing it with my counselor. Here's an article that might help.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/resilience/MH00078
That being said, I should also note that there's a big political controversy about the whole issue of resiliency in the mental health field. I've summarized it here:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1002519
Hope this information contributes to this conversation. We are never powerless, even if we sometimes feel that way. But, we can learn ways to become more empowered in our lives too.
Shalom!
But, I don't think we "choose" that which will make or break us. Indeed, I've been researching the whole concept of resilience lately, and discussing it with my counselor. Here's an article that might help.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/resilience/MH00078
That being said, I should also note that there's a big political controversy about the whole issue of resiliency in the mental health field. I've summarized it here:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1002519
Hope this information contributes to this conversation. We are never powerless, even if we sometimes feel that way. But, we can learn ways to become more empowered in our lives too.
Shalom!
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Join Date: Oct 2004
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When I was a kid we lived in a cafe and Gloria Gaynor would belt out on the juke box "as long as I know how to love I'll know I'm still alive."
My resilliance then came from that song, from caring about something MORE than any physical aspect of life and coiling myself around it. Knowing how to love WAS knowing I was still alive to me, it WAS life and unlike so much else it was MINE, in my control, belonging to me.
I think what I learned in protecting that one thing in turn taught me everything else!! But I'm still learning, I'm still resilliant, and where I don't feel it I still coil round what is at the core of me and keep going.
I'll have a look at those links, I just wanted to write what I felt first.
My resilliance then came from that song, from caring about something MORE than any physical aspect of life and coiling myself around it. Knowing how to love WAS knowing I was still alive to me, it WAS life and unlike so much else it was MINE, in my control, belonging to me.
I think what I learned in protecting that one thing in turn taught me everything else!! But I'm still learning, I'm still resilliant, and where I don't feel it I still coil round what is at the core of me and keep going.
I'll have a look at those links, I just wanted to write what I felt first.
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