Threads getting shut....

Old 08-02-2006, 01:26 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by PaperDolls
Wow!
I know, right?! That's pretty amazing, I had no idea there were so many online resources out there...
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:29 PM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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Hang on a second.

I have never said I didn't like the rules, as you will see if you read my previous posts. Never had an issue with any of them.

And nor did I say that I didn't like any of the mods of greeters, nor that I do not appreciate the work that is done by them.

I do, however, have a problem with incendiary comments such as
Originally Posted by cmc
It is a very sad thing to read someone say that if a new person is turned away and does not 'see' recovery here....'so what?'
which are a blatent misrepresentation of what has been said.

To suggest that anybody who has posted on this thread does not have compassion for other people still suffering outrages me, to be quite frank. THAT is why I came back into this thread, not because of any issue with the rules of the board.
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:30 PM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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Discussion is welcome. Bashing the mods and greeters is unacceptable.

I have sat on my hands many times when reading this forum. The newcomer is the most important person on the forum. When I see a newcomer with only 8 posts called names and talked about instead of talked to it makes my blood boil. There are many sides to this discussion. Mike has been much more gracious than I would have been.
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:31 PM
  # 84 (permalink)  
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To All The Mods And Greeters:


(((((((BIG SQUISHY,SLOBBERY HUGS))))))))
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:31 PM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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It may have been misunderstood Minnie, but it sure looked like a negative comment to me too.
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:34 PM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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Thank you for clarification Minnie. I appreciate your comment but wondered why it was hidden under something directly taking exception with Mods/Greeters.

Thank you MG, as always you are succint and firmly gentle. An inspiration to me, as always. Hugs!
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:37 PM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
DThe newcomer is the most important person on the forum.
Thanks -- that's nice.

As a regular of this forum -- I feel like I'm being insulted by many of the negative comments on this thread. And, I'm not trying to be sarcastic. I am so done with this so-called "conversation".

And as a side note.......an just to clarify.
1. I do have respect for everyone that visits this board.
2. I couldn't have made it through my sobriety this far without SR.
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:38 PM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MeggieStar
First off, why do you think someone becomes a Mod or Greeter? Because they have displayed signifcant recovery and dedication to SR and the principles of recovery. No one is perfect, but I respect the Mods AND Greeters because it takes work to get where they are.

I take offense to this ...kind of like saying the rest of us are just a
f'd up mess......no matter how much recovery we personally have.




I am fine with everyone expressing their opinion, but to strike out against each other is contrary to why I, at least, am here.
Isn't that kind of what you have done with the previous quote?
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:41 PM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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Hey there gang,

I have been busy with some commitments and responsibilities. Here's a quick answer to the questions posted here. If I miss something please let me know as there's a lot of material to cover. I am paraphrasing the questions in order to cover as many issues as possible.

- Why is this thread still going?

Because none of the mods have closed it. Do you really think we can close a thread that discusses why threads get closed? This thread is practically un-closable. If I close this thread you know how much heat I'm going to get? Is this a good enough example of why mods have to close threads _without_ a popularity vote?

- Who makes the rules?

The rules come from several places. This website operates under the laws of the United States of America and therefore must follow a host of Federal, State and local laws. Among those many laws there are those regarding adult content and admission of minors. I'll skip the legalese, consult your attorney for details, here's the big picture.

A US based webiste can either be "adult content" or "general content". Within those two categories there's a lot of classifications that are not applicable to SR. Federal law clearly states that "general content" websites may _not_ contain any kind of material, in any form (including pics, video, text _and links_) that is considered inapropriate for children under 18. The definition of "inapropriate" is huge, but includes the expected pornography, obscenity and so forth. SR is a "general content" webiste. In order to be "adult content" SR would have to password out the forums, and require positive proof of age from all _viewers_ as well as posters. That means credit card, drivers license, passport, or other such. In turn that would mean your entire personal history would be available to the owners of this site, the advertisers, and all the regulatory agencies that inspect "adult content" websites.

The owners of SR have chosen to keep SR a "general content" site. In turn that means that _somebody_ has to peruse every single post, every single day, and insure that there is no post that contains obscenity, pornography or _links to_ such material in any form. Computers can't do the job well enough to meet federal regulations, so people have to do it.

A few minor rules come from the owners. Mainly stuff about advertisers and where to put advertisments.

- Who pays the management?

Nobody. There is no "paymaster". The administrators, moderators and greeters are all volunteers. Nobody is getting paid to manage this forum.

- We shouldn't worry about children reading our posts.

There are two separate answers to that. First is the "moral responsibility" answer. We make this forum available to children. Because we make it available we are morally obligated to be responsible for the consequences of that availability. If we _choose_ to make it protected from children then we would have to _require_ proof of ID from readers, and there would be no anonymity.

The second answer is that US Federal law _requires_ us to be aware of the presence of children and to _acively prevent_ any material that is considered obscene or inapropriate for children. Please note that "inapropriate" is _very broad_ and covers a _lot_ of territory. The "rule of thumb" is that if you don't want _your_ 5 yr old child to see, or read it then you don't want to post it here.

Also note that we have a great "Private Message" system which you can use at any time, so there is no excuse for posting inapropriately in the public forums. You want to call somebody stupid, do in the PM.

- Why don't you just give a warning?

First, I treat people like adults. When somebody posts insults, calls other people names, or otherwise incites hostilities, there's no reason for a warning. They know what they wrote.

Second. Warnings take too long. Not everybody lives on the web. Some people post one day and don't come back for several days. In those several days the whole world has seen the posted obscenities, a bunch of shocked parents have filed complaints with the Feds, and half the membership is in a uproar. Think of it this way, if somebody sprays obscenities all over the front of your house, how long would you want to leave it up there?

- Why do you lock a thread?

Well, look at _this_ thread. How long _should_ a thread go? Especially one where the same old people are getting into the same old name-calling all over again. Note that long threads attract more attention than short ones, so all kinds of people who would not normally post get a desire to do so and the long threads become self-perpetuating.

- Why don't you wait 'till the thread goes bad?

Because I don't work here. The management is only here when there's time. Babysiting childish behavior is _not_ my priority. I know the hot-heads in this forum, I know how they like to pick at each other and incite each other. If I have some other commitment at the time and the thread is only warm I'm not going to "enable" them and sit around waiting for them to act out. If they're going to behave like unruly children then I will oblige them and close recess early.

Those people who are reasonable and mature have always re-started interesting discussions in a new thread whenever the trouble makers have forced a closure.

Now I have a few questions of my own for those who would like to help improve the operation of SR.
1- Earlier in this thread I requested some concrete examples (my post #39 in this thread) of specific posts that could be used as guidelines for what to trash and what not to trash. No, not other peoples posts, your _own_ posts. I have not received from anybody who is unhappy with the current operation of SR any kind of concrete example that could be used to improve the guidelines. If you are not going to help with concrete examples, then kindly quit whining.

2- Several people have noted that this thread is too long and should be closed. Other people are clearly still posting. So how about we use _this_ thread as an excercise in developing guidelines for when to close a thread. Can I please have some concrete examples using _this_ thread that can be used as a guidelines for determining when to close a thread? Has anybody noticed that the posts are starting to get "hot"? That people are misunderstanding each other? That there is the beginning of "you said I said" accusations?

So? If I may use an american expression, put your money where your mouth is and speak up. Do I close this thread now? or do I let it go a little longer?

As for the majority of the people in SR who have focused on their own recovery, who have posted insightful questions that contribute to positive discussion, and who continuously reach out to the new people, you have my deepest gratitude. It's people like you who saved my life when I first arrived in this forum, and who make SR a true refuge from the horrors of addiction.

Mike
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:41 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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I am fecken sorry I even questioned this to begin.....
Didn't really get me anywhere...but sure shows me where
a lot of us stand.....
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:45 PM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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My vote: Stick a fork in it...it's done.
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Old 08-02-2006, 01:50 PM
  # 92 (permalink)  
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MG,
While we are on the topic of what negative comments are being made...to say the newcomer is the most important person here is blatantly negative.

The newcomer is the most important person on the forum
I find it disgraceful that the focus is not on everyone recovery and its assumed that people who "have some recovery under their belts" (not my words btw) know better, or should keep our mouths stapled, unless of course it fits with status quo guidelines and belief systems of the powers that be.

Clearly, I do not have enough recovery under my belt to be objective as I am so offended at such a comment

I left this site for a while bc all I saw was newbies with no recovery throwing out non recovery solutions to their problems and it was a hotbed for alcoholic bashing and sickness.

I made a comment in a pm to someone to that effect and the response was quite true IMO..alot of newbies and sickness, not enough recovery from old timers.

So, How well do you think this site would run if none of the people with "some recovery under their belt" stuck around. Just about as well as if the roles were reversed.
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:01 PM
  # 93 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by PaperDolls
As a regular of this forum -- I feel like I'm being insulted by many of the negative comments on this thread. And, I'm not trying to be sarcastic.
I feel the same way. And after all these 4 or 5 pages of replies, not one person has directly answered the original question as to why the thread was locked and ultimately vaporized.

I have been hanging around here for a little over a year now and I have to say that no posters comments, no matter how rude or insensitive, have put me off to this place as much as what has been posted on this thread.

I think I need a break.

L
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:12 PM
  # 94 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by elizabeth1979
MG,
While we are on the topic of what negative comments are being made...to say the newcomer is the most important person here is blatantly negative.
For anyone who has spent any time in the rooms, the expression that "the newcomer is the most important person at any meeting" is a common once, and well founded.

It means that the person who needs the rooms most is that poor soul who just found the courage to walk in, and those of us with a little recovery under our belts should be able to set our own issues aside for a moment to welcome the newcomer and make them feel at home.

It doesn't mean the oldtimers and in-betweeners are not important, of course they are, but the newcomer is the person reaching out and it's a good thing for me that when I did there was someone willing to grab my hand and help me up.

I just felt a need to clarify that for those who didn't know.
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:18 PM
  # 95 (permalink)  
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I agree LaTeeDa. I may need a break too but I don't feel like I can make it a day without the support of SR and the wonderful people I have met here. This argument or fight is really saddening to me. My feelings are hurt.

I understand why there are rules and I respect that Mike made a judgement call. I'm not offended about any thread being closed. I do think sometimes we deserve answers. To me I got the answer when Mike said he made a judgement call and that is satisfactory to me. I respect that completely. You can never make everyone happy.

I feel like I'm being personally attacked here -- saying I have no respect and that I have been bashing greeters and mods. May be that's my problem that I'm taking them personal but I think I've been very clear about the respect I have for everyone on this board. That includes not only the Mods, but the members and newcomers. That even includes people that may have said the wrong thing on here before. Lord knows I've said the wrong thing so many times I can't count. My respect is also for people that just lurk and don't ask lots of questions. Not just those "old-timers" who only focus on their own recovery, not just those who have posted insightful questions and comments, and not just to those who are best at welcoming newcomers. I have respect for everyone here.

I think we're beating a dead horse here. I don't usually get insulted by threads like this nor do I usually get involved in them. I did both this time and I'm really sorry.

Sometimes people listen but don't hear. I think that may be going on here.

I'm putting my money where my mouth is here -- Mike I'm not going to tell any mod which threads they should close. That's not my job as a member. Like I said, and I mean it, I don't envy you or any other mod. It's a tough job and I know it. Unfortunately, that's part of taking on a job like that. Sometimes people will question what you've done and why you've done it. It's sort of like being a manager of people. It's a tough job. Good luck with it.

And with that.....I am completely done with this.
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:19 PM
  # 96 (permalink)  
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Mike - good response re the rules and regs

I don't know - I've learned a lot from this thread. Now I'll say something that might get me flamed - I also try to keep newcomers in mind when I post. Why? That's the 12-step way; it has become 2nd nature to me. It isn't a comparative thing of who is more important in the grand scheme of life, but I've been a newcomer and will admit the further I get away from it, the less I want to revisit the pain of being one. It's a struggle.

I do attend Al-Anon. In my meetings I have come to know people who take the inflammatory approach to topics. What has that taught me? That I don't look to them in any consistent way as how I want to live my recovery. Yet, once in awhile one of them will say something that blows me away.

If we're taking a vote - go ahead and close the thread. JMO!!!!!

Mike - when you get a chance I did ask you a question about the girl with the child.

I love this forum.
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:23 PM
  # 97 (permalink)  
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Wow, this thread is still open. Good for the mods. Most boards have a rule that threads about threads closing get dumped. End of story.

Originally Posted by splendra
I think that when a post is in question of being offensive it ought to be cut and pasted and sent in a PM asking the person to edit the post
I do not think we have the time to bookmark each thread, send a PM, wait for a reply and then jump on it when it comes back. Many people only visit once a day, or even once a week. We can't expect the mods to wait around and let the post fester and cause problems.
Originally Posted by minnie
As for the rest of the inflammatory BS - I would have thought better of Mods and Greeters.
then
Originally Posted by minnie
And nor did I say that I didn't like any of the mods of greeters, nor that I do not appreciate the work that is done by them.
It sounds to me like you do not appreciate the work of mods and greeters.

Folks, remember we are all only human. We are not perfect. Mods are human too. Give them some room to make decisions based on the rules.

The Gibson thread was, IMO, heading for disaster. This topic has gone into flame wars on all three non-recovery boards I belong too, why would SR be that much different?
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:26 PM
  # 98 (permalink)  
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Like ann said, THe newcommer is the most important person here, period. not the only important person, just the MOST important.

If anyone takes offence with that statement, they have some personal issues to work on.

I don't think I have evr posted in this forum, I'm an addict so I kinda stay out yall's way....I have no idea on the specifics of what happened here, but what I do know is that SR has a set of rules and one of the rules is that a thread can be deleted if a moderator sees that it is needed. It is in black and white, if you do not like the rules, there are other sites out there.

I am greatfull for this site.....and I have had a thread or two deleted, was forced to remove a link from my sig and watched some things that I didn't agree with go on....however, I have found this place to consistantly be a source of recovery for myself. The owners could close it down tomorrow if they chose too and I'd be greatful for the time spent here. I try my best to live by their rules while here, if I felt like they weren't reasonable, I'd leave.

Stop whining, deal with it. Recovery is the purpose of this site, not petty bullcrap.
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:26 PM
  # 99 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Splendra
I think that when a post is in question of being offensive it ought to be cut and pasted and sent in a PM asking the person to edit the post
(telling what the offense is so there will be no question) and if they would like to have it be a part of the thread in question it can be sent back to the mod so that they can approve the edit and then on approval it can be added back to the thread. To me this seems like a simple solution and would work and then the thread would not need to be locked as the offending post or posts would have been dealt with in the manner described...with maybe a note on the thread that some posts had been cut and sent to the author for editing...

Just my humble $.02 of course...
I guess this suggestion either did not get read or no body thought it worthy of a reply.

I have requested that a post of mine be deleted before so I cannot use it as an example of what ought to be deleted and I have also had posts deleted that I would have gladly edited had I been given the chance. Let's live in the solution if there is one...
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:37 PM
  # 100 (permalink)  
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Splendra, while that is not a bad idea, have you any idea how much work that would be? Say each mod got 10 of those a day (not an unfair guess on busy forums), we'd become "editors" and never have time to mod or more important work on our own recovery.

I don't think the solution is hard. Respect each other and those who have to make decisions, doesn't mean you have to agree with them, just respect them.
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