Oblivious
 

Well, the wife reappeared this morning after spending 4 days in her room drinking, popping out from time to time to verbally abuse us all etc. etc.

What still amazes me, although it shouldn't, is the how an alcoholic like this just waltzes in, as cool as you please and really, truly expects you to completely ignore it all.

She is currently suffering from bad eczema, her hands being particularly painful. She told me they hurt and then asked why I wouldn't show her any sympathy. My reply was to tell her that the fact that she was systematically wrecking her body and that the eczema was 99% sure to be a result of her latest drinking bout tended to negate any feelings of sympathy I might have.

After going on to tell her, calmly, that this, coupled with the fact that she had frequently and very unpleasantly verbally abused/insulted me over the last few days had not left me disposed kindly towards her drew the reply........ Wait for it......................

"Why not, I'm being nice now" !!!!:uzi2:

Then she just shouted loudly "oh be like that!!!" and pranced off in a huff.

If it wasn't so sad I would really have to laugh myself silly !!

Pete

That rings a lot of bells for me, Pete. And I can understand (not agree with) her attitude to a point - after all, denial is a powerful force. If reality is allowed to seep in, then that is a terrifying prospect.

For my own sanity, I had to learn that what my ex thought and how he reacted was non of my business and stick to my guns as to what was acceptable to me or not.

Yep, this helped me too.
I think you did well!

I experienced this a lot with my ex, and then some!!!

I often wondered, is he consciously aware of how he treated me, or, did he have a blackout and not have any recollection at all of what he did or said to me?

I think at times he did remember and lied about it. But then there were other times when I really don't think he remembered.

In hindsight, it didn't matter because neither was acceptable.

I actually am sure she does not remembr most of these episodes.

Judging by her memory for most things, even conversations more than a few minutes prior that she cannot remember, her short term memory is pretty badly damaged.

With the years of smoking weed (yup she did that too) and now the alcohol, it has become like living with my dementia ridden grandmother. However, she was funny with it !!