Made a decision........
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: West Vancouver, BC
Posts: 405
Good luck and God Speed - I hear the MIRACLES
Originally Posted by inthisforkeeps
a book by Eckhert Tolle called, "The Power of Now" - it's on the 'spiritual' side, but there's mention of addiction and codependency in there that I felt made it worthy of mentioning here...it's a GREAT read!
I know things will be fine for you !! I am proud of you
Keep in touch..We are rooting for you...And Hang in in the meantime.
xoxo Janni
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
Wow-- you are making great progress hon. You're a busy woman!
Yes, those unknowns are very scarey, but you are totally right. I've found that fear of the unknown can paralyze people at times. Once you're out of there and settled in and have enough space and time to kick back and relish in the fruit of your labors, I think you will find it 1000% better. I know that's how I feel now that I'm on "the other side."
The unknowns are scary, but I figure it can't be any worse than how life's been while living with an active addict. It's just time to move on and LIVE.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Albuqureque, NM
Posts: 14
Wanted to let you guys know that I did leave him. The anger kept me going (finding a crack pipe, as well as his constantly going out and not coming home and things getting so bad that he began selling everything for drug money while we had no food in the house) and I left. Was NOT easy. My son and I drove 11 hours to come stay with my cousin in a totally different state...but I'm leaving that chapter of my life behind and am going to try to give my son a better childhood - what's left of it. It still hurts real bad...it's all so fresh...I still cry from the pits of my soul...but I know that this is the right thing to do. For those of you reading this - know that you HAVE to put yourself (and children) first in these types of situations b/c you CANNOT control an addict...you CANNOT love them enough to get clean (or sober)...what's worse, is that codependency can make you as sick as the addict you love so much...to the point where you are not even good to them or anyone else in the way of help. You MUST put yourself first and CHOOSE to LIVE. Take it from me - I've lived it for the past twelve years. *hugs*
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Albuqureque, NM
Posts: 14
P.S. When I left, though I didn't have room for some of my potted trees and plants, I grabbed the stereo...a silly thing, I know...but I knew he'd have pawned it for drug money and b/c I wasn't taking my bed or the couch or the washing machine or really much else but crap (clothes, sentimental things, my son's stuff, etc.)...I wanted to have *something*...besides; I have a child to take care of and if worse comes to worse, *I* can pawn that stereo - atleast my reasons would be more noble.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Your post is a true inspiration. I understand your hurt. I'm about to embark on a new life myself. I have been through two mammograms where masses were found. One was removed and biopsied - turned out to be nonmalignant mass of cysts. The next time it turned out to be more cysts that showed up on the sonogram. It scared the heck outta me, but the doctor told me it's fairly common. Take care of your physical well-being.
I'm glad you have friends and family who will support you in your journey. As tough as this is for you, they'll be there to lend you a helping hand.
Best of luck to you. What you're doing is a brave and positive thing.
I'm glad you have friends and family who will support you in your journey. As tough as this is for you, they'll be there to lend you a helping hand.
Best of luck to you. What you're doing is a brave and positive thing.
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
I'm glad to hear you made it to your cousin's and am very happy that you got out. Your post is inspirational and life is too short. Time will help those tears fade away and you have a bright future ahead of you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
I know your hurting right now and I can feel the pain in your post...
Dont try to figure out anything right now, get settled and get your son settled. Give yourself some normality and let others take care of you for just a little while.
My prayers are with you and your son.
Dont try to figure out anything right now, get settled and get your son settled. Give yourself some normality and let others take care of you for just a little while.
My prayers are with you and your son.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
((((inthis))))
What you've done takes enormous courage. I hope each day gets better from now on for you and your son. I know how important it is to have people there for you. Don't be afraid to lean on others right now for the support you need. If your experience is like mine, it will get a little easier each passing day from here on in.
Good luck to you and keep us posted.
What you've done takes enormous courage. I hope each day gets better from now on for you and your son. I know how important it is to have people there for you. Don't be afraid to lean on others right now for the support you need. If your experience is like mine, it will get a little easier each passing day from here on in.
Good luck to you and keep us posted.
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