How I'm NOT dealing with XAH
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by megamysterioso
"you can either go to bed in MY room right now or get the F out of MY house."
One brief hour...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
You guys are all sooo wonderful!!! You all just gave me a great laugh over here. This one particularly took it over the top for me so thanks so much marriedithink:
ROFLMAO. And Jazz- if you're looking to be a ladies man, try something a little more subtle. Teehee. Sunshine-- we sure have come a long way haven't we??? I'm so proud and happy for you. We're good women and we deserve the best baby!! We all do here. 
As you can tell by the time, I'm having trouble sleeping. I have a lot on my mind. It is mostly job stuff- went to the Dept. of Labor today for the first of my "re-employment" classes. Woohoo. Also... I got that freakin' phone call today!
Here's the deal- I'm in Wally World and my good friend (XAH's stepmom) calls and says, "he asked me to call you b/c he's at his sister's house right now. He said it was something to do with the apartment walkthrough." We do have a few unsettled financial things to take care of, but I had planned on handling all that from afar as best as possible. I blocked my phone number and called him at his sis's as requested.
It was essentially a very sad phone call that had NOTHING at all to do with business- just how much he missed me, how sad he was, just needed to hear my voice, how sorry he was and how he is "about to check himself into detox." I was brutally honest with him and told him that we were over and that I really didn't think we could continue with any kind of relationship NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. I told him that our relationship's bad times FAR outweigh the good and that I feel like I've aged 100 years and am just now starting to feel like I'm "getting me back." He apologized profusely and cried. He seemed to understand and I hope he does. I also told him that aside from the job stress, I'm VERY happy with everything else. I told him that all he does is bring stress into my life and I don't want or need it. I even told him that I was no longer in love with him and I doubt I could ever rekindle it. Hopefully, I won't hear from him again, but I think that is doubtful. We'll see, but I will say that when I was speaking to him, I could literally feel my blood pressure rising (and nothing about the conversation was "confrontational"). He really brings out the worst in me. I'm soooooo much better off without him. I hope he has a great and happy life. I hope he gets clean. I won't be a part of any of it anymore though.
I know I drop trow everytime my AH says something sweet like that........Oh wait he's not interested in sex. Just another wonderful side affect.
As you can tell by the time, I'm having trouble sleeping. I have a lot on my mind. It is mostly job stuff- went to the Dept. of Labor today for the first of my "re-employment" classes. Woohoo. Also... I got that freakin' phone call today!
Here's the deal- I'm in Wally World and my good friend (XAH's stepmom) calls and says, "he asked me to call you b/c he's at his sister's house right now. He said it was something to do with the apartment walkthrough." We do have a few unsettled financial things to take care of, but I had planned on handling all that from afar as best as possible. I blocked my phone number and called him at his sis's as requested.
It was essentially a very sad phone call that had NOTHING at all to do with business- just how much he missed me, how sad he was, just needed to hear my voice, how sorry he was and how he is "about to check himself into detox." I was brutally honest with him and told him that we were over and that I really didn't think we could continue with any kind of relationship NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. I told him that our relationship's bad times FAR outweigh the good and that I feel like I've aged 100 years and am just now starting to feel like I'm "getting me back." He apologized profusely and cried. He seemed to understand and I hope he does. I also told him that aside from the job stress, I'm VERY happy with everything else. I told him that all he does is bring stress into my life and I don't want or need it. I even told him that I was no longer in love with him and I doubt I could ever rekindle it. Hopefully, I won't hear from him again, but I think that is doubtful. We'll see, but I will say that when I was speaking to him, I could literally feel my blood pressure rising (and nothing about the conversation was "confrontational"). He really brings out the worst in me. I'm soooooo much better off without him. I hope he has a great and happy life. I hope he gets clean. I won't be a part of any of it anymore though.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Mega - I had the exact same thing happen when I spilt up with R. We were still running a business together and he would take every opportunity to turn the conversation around. It continued even after he got engaged to someone else!!
And that is why I always advocate no-contact and if contact is necessary, having very firm boundaries. Every time the conversation started going off at a tangent, I would hang up. Of course, then I would have to turn my phone off because I would get a barrage of angry calls, but it was only because I wasn't playing the game.
Your thinking is great. Stick to it.
And that is why I always advocate no-contact and if contact is necessary, having very firm boundaries. Every time the conversation started going off at a tangent, I would hang up. Of course, then I would have to turn my phone off because I would get a barrage of angry calls, but it was only because I wasn't playing the game.
Your thinking is great. Stick to it.
Followtheyellowbrickroad
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Staples, MN
Posts: 104
Your healing Mega and that's great! You have been doing a great job. I know all about that curiosity. I find myself wanting to find out about my AH's life and what he's doing but then I realize that would be in a sense giving him what he wanted, which is to know that I still carry a tie to him and giving him an opening to place blame for the state of his life.. I know that every day I have no contact with him, I feel stronger and stronger and you my dear have been a strong voice for me and I thank you for that!
One brief hour...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
Just wanted tos say hi Deettah!! I haven't seen you around in a while and I've kind of been absent for a while too. You sound good hon. Thank you for your encouraging words and I think in circumstances such as these, it is best to cut all ties. That man is really not good for me and we have too much bad history together for me to ever be ever to truly "let go" and attempt anything with him again. I only want to move forward in life from here on out. My divorce is one of the smartest things I've ever done!
Thank you for your encouraging words and I think in circumstances such as these, it is best to cut all ties. That man is really not good for me and we have too much bad history together for me to ever be ever to truly "let go" and attempt anything with him again. I only want to move forward in life from here on out. My divorce is one of the smartest things I've ever done!
Followtheyellowbrickroad
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Staples, MN
Posts: 104
I've been lurking but not posting. My life is finally starting to settle a little bit and the water is a little clearer now so I am feeling good again. I think that the no contact thing was the best advice I had ever been given. Also the hardest advice to take and abide by. I didn't realize that by letting him have contact with me, in any way, I was allowing him to bring me down, and I was wasting my breath trying to talk to him. So, glad to see you back Mega, I think we are both on the right path.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
