kermit

I think I'm about to give up and I can't get this out of my head. I thought I would find a job no problem. wrong... Ah is being more and more difficult. And I think all my stregth is gone . I want to thank you all for your support over the last few months I don't know what I would have done with out you. I'm tired and feel like one big falure, I wish God would just take me. I would probalbluy help him out but my kids need me. I'm so stuck.

denny57

Kermit, I hope you pick up the phone and call someone right now - your doctor, a mental health hotline, someone. You deserve to get the help you need to deal with all that is overwhelming to you. Please do it - not only for yourself, but for your children.

You are not stuck. You are depressed. I was there. If I can do it, you can, too.

((()))

Jazzman

Woah Kermit! Wassup? What's going on?

minnie

(((Kermit)))

You've not lost your strength, you've just forgotten where to replenish it.

Lean on us.

MsPINKAcres

((Kermit))
Hang in there Kermit - you never know what special things your HP has around the corner for you - please, please don't give up before the miracles in you happen!!

I hate that you are feeling those feelings of despair and defeat - please take some time to be good to yourself, don't beat yourself up. Yes, your kids need you, we need you and your HP needs you - You are important. Try to do something that will make you feel better, try to do something positive - even if it is just a soothing walk through the park or a relaxing bath.

Please don't let the disease win again - it's not worth it - The disease doesn't deserve to win again - You deserve to win - You can do it - we have faith in you.

You are not a failure - I am sending prayers and good thoughts your way and praying that your HP sends a special blessing your way so that you know you are not alone in this battle!!!!!

This too shall Pass,
Rita

kermit

If I brake AH will try and get my kids. I'm overwelmed sad tired and just sad. I can't take this anymore

denny57

Kermit, do you mean if you leave your AH will try to get the kids? What makes you think he would get them if he did?

kermit

Denny, I think if I show any signs that I'm nuts he will take the kids. I don't want Ah to know how weak I am

LaTeeDa

Kermit,

I hope you will call someone who can help, as Denny suggested. If not, please share with us what is overwhelming you. Vent, rant, cry, whatever. Let it out. Share it with us. We will not judge you. Sometimes getting it out helps a little. Give it a try.

L

denny57

Kermit, I don't know everything that is going on with you right now - but a weak person doesn't extend a hand for help. Keep that in mind. You are obviously going through something very painful right now.

Everyone is here to listen and help.

MsPINKAcres

Kermit,
If you don't feel safe posting all that is going on in your life here, please call a trusted friend, a support hot line, or private message someone in this group. You have reached out for help - please don't stop - keep reaching out. We would like to help you if you would let us - even if it is just to listen.

Rita

pmaslan

I too do not know what is happening at the moment in your life.
Your post is very scary...please find someone in real life to talk to.
You AH is not worth all of what you are putting yourself through.

kermit

Ok, I have been interviewing for jobs forever now, I'm running out of money, I haven't paid the mtg this month so I can feed the kids. It's hoter then hell here. My Ah as given me money but very little I'm working on that with my attorney. My 6yr old has been out of control & I can't take his out burst any more. My baby is sick we were in the EM all day yesturday. He's going to be okay. My daughter got a job and is never around. My Ah said if I don't get a job soon we will have to sell the house. Then where will we go? Rent is higher then my mtg. I just can't get out of my slump. I just do not see a light at the end of tunel. I'm thakful you are here.I can't talk to anyone else about this, I do not want anyone to know hoe bad I am. I just feel like I can't go on. Maybe I'm not cut out for this, I know what they say about God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I'm not to sure about that. I used to know what i needed to do, now it takes everything just to get dinner made. I know that there is more to this I just can't put my finger on it. I just cant. And I have no idea how to get out of it.........................I'm sorry that everytime I post I'm sad

denny57

Me either, Kermit, me either. Also that implies we are weak because we're feeling beaten down by it. So phooey on that saying.

You do have an awful lot going on and I understand why you feel overwhelmed. I need to ask - is there something that keeps you from going to see a professional about this? Everything you describe - like being too tired to make dinner - points to depression. Face to face talking with someone will help you so much.

I have been where you are. I had no idea it was depression until my therapist told me so. I just thought I couldn't handle life.

Sometimes I think we do end up with more than we can handle all at once.

What kind of area do you live in? Is there temp work to be had?

kermit

Den, I live near you, LA, I will keep looking for work. I do house cleaning and sell candles. I know I'm going to be okay. I just want it today! I have no extra money to see a therapist. I already know it is depression. I see my Dr in a couple of weeks,. ( so he can just reafirm I'm nuts & up my meds) Thanks for your posts today.
I have been waiting to hear from a company I worked for a few years back The interview went well They said with a clean backround check I was a shoe in. It's been a week I have called but no decision has been made. I think my hopes were to high. I will keep on trucking......

MsPINKAcres

I'm not a big fan of that saying either "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" - Because I too feel overwhelmed and again like a failure because I couldn't handle all that was going on - I prefer to say my HP overwhelms me, so then I can give it all to him and then he can handle it all.

My sponsor and friends in the program also had me start with First Things First, when I felt overwhelmed - do the Next Right Thing - what was the most important thing that needed to be done next - make supper, feed the kids, take a bath, get some sleep, practical things - that way I wasn't looking at everything at one - One Day at a Time, became One Thing at a Time -

Please keep coming back - vent your frustrations here - keep reading the threads, looking for answers - I hope your Higher Power gives you comfort in the information and support you find here.

Glad you are here,
Rita

Pick-a-name

(((kermit)))

I'm sorry you feel that way......I know the feeling,too. ugh.
I am so glad you are here.

I will keep you in my prayers.

cwohio

((kermit)) you are not nuts or weak - any human being going thru what you are would be overwhelmed and depressed. i will add you to my prayer list!!

prodigal

I agree with what everyone else is saying here - you are not NUTS. People who are really nuts think they're the normal ones and the rest of the world is crazy. Believe me, I lived with a certifiable headcase for too many years. You are suffering from depression. I understand the disease. It took about four years before the doctors found the right meds for me to take. It is sometimes trial and error when it comes to brain chemistry. I felt like I couldn't make it either and attempted suicide in 1997. By the grace of God, I didn't succeed. But I did get help.

You mentioned you clean houses. With most folks being two-income families nowadays and having kids too I would think you could get lots of jobs cleaning houses. Candles are also quite popular. I can't believe the sheer number of shapes, sizes, and scents I saw at Target the other day.

Your six-year-old may be acting out in the only way he knows how because of all the stress. Children pick up on things and act out their feelings in ways that can be quite frustrating for a parent. Right now you're feeling too wiped out to handle him. Do you think taking him to a playground and letting him run off some of his energy and emotions might help?

What type of work are you looking for? Do you feel you need to acquire additional skills to get the job you want? Are there any non-profit associations in your area that offer job training? It's expensive to live in Califorinia, which is why so many have jumped over the state line into Arizona. My neighborhood is mostly L.A. area transplants.

I don't believe you mentioned what you AH does for a living. Does he make a sufficient amount of $$ to give you more assistance? By the way, California is a community property state. It's strictly a 50/50 split of marital property. Do you have equity built up in your house? Should you have to sell it, half the profit is yours to keep.

I'm sorry I'm riddling you with all these questions, but I'm not sure of your circumstances. I care what happens to you. I know you're in pain. I can't take that pain away, nor can anyone else here, but I'll be glad to listen and offer any support I can. Keep posting - we all care what happens to you!

Minx1969

Kermit -

Here's a practical suggestion for the therapy..Lots of universities (I'm sure UCLA or nearby somewhere) have free or low cost therapy for people..

Same with women's shelters..You don't have to be in a shelter, you just need to pick up the phone and make a phone call...

I know it's hard right now, but there are resources available for you.

http://www.safenetwork.net/directory.cfm