Wheres best place to buy a marriage ring?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 928
L and I finished part one of our Premaritial counselling..
We have signed on to do a "Couples Communication" class as well so we can learn active listening etc...
L said he learned alot more about me and he is very happy we went...
I think it is good as well because we learned some of our "hot spots" and also some ways to diffuse an argument.
good luck.
PS ..the higher the gold content (14k vs. 18k vs. 22k) the softer the ring so it can scratch more and might need to be repaired..
you might want to consider Platnium which is a stronger metal..
but findout your gf preference..
believe it or not but COSTCO also has some good jewelery..L bought my Cartier watch from them online for last Christmas.
We have signed on to do a "Couples Communication" class as well so we can learn active listening etc...
L said he learned alot more about me and he is very happy we went...
I think it is good as well because we learned some of our "hot spots" and also some ways to diffuse an argument.
good luck.
PS ..the higher the gold content (14k vs. 18k vs. 22k) the softer the ring so it can scratch more and might need to be repaired..
you might want to consider Platnium which is a stronger metal..
but findout your gf preference..
believe it or not but COSTCO also has some good jewelery..L bought my Cartier watch from them online for last Christmas.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Which country is she from, Code?
I am struggling to respond here because I see a lot of things in your posts that make me wince in terms of your view of women. However, that is probably because I come from a different culture to you and I don't wish to get into a debate about all of that.
What if the fire goes out after you are married?
I am struggling to respond here because I see a lot of things in your posts that make me wince in terms of your view of women. However, that is probably because I come from a different culture to you and I don't wish to get into a debate about all of that.
What if the fire goes out after you are married?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
I see a lot of things in your posts that make me wince in terms of your view of women. However, that is probably because I come from a different culture to you and I don't wish to get into a debate about all of that.
On rings I love mine and D's - it's 22 carat white gold BUT without the 'white' coating. We had to get them wholesale as shops don't sell them uncoated. In some lights it looks like steel, in others pewter and sometimes gold. It's plain and it's meaning/worth is only known to us - I like that very much.
I made the decision to marry very quickly and with no regrets but unlike you I had a strong awareness of D's problems and he of mine. I didn't marry someone as perfect as you describe, I married a human being that can make mistakes and even (just like me) sometimes do things downright wrong.
Part of what I love about people is how we overcome our flaws, how we develop and that we don't ever reach perfection, without that understanding of a person I can't offer more than my 'acquintance' because I don't know them at all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Do you realise how often you used the word innocent and how unlikely that is for any normal adult?
in·no·cent (ĭn'ə-sənt)
adj.
1. Uncorrupted by evil, malice, or wrongdoing; sinless: an innocent child.
2.
a. Not guilty of a specific crime or offense; legally blameless: was innocent of all charges.
b. Within, allowed by, or sanctioned by the law; lawful.
3.
a. Not dangerous or harmful; innocuous: an innocent prank.
b. Candid; straightforward: a child's innocent stare.
4.
a. Not experienced or worldly; naive.
b. Betraying or suggesting no deception or guile; artless.
5.
a. Not exposed to or familiar with something specified; ignorant: American tourists wholly innocent of French.
b. Unaware: She remained innocent of the complications she had caused.
6. Lacking, deprived, or devoid of something: a novel innocent of literary merit.
noun.
A person, especially a child, who is free of evil or sin.
A simple, guileless, inexperienced, or unsophisticated person.
A very young child.
adj.
1. Uncorrupted by evil, malice, or wrongdoing; sinless: an innocent child.
2.
a. Not guilty of a specific crime or offense; legally blameless: was innocent of all charges.
b. Within, allowed by, or sanctioned by the law; lawful.
3.
a. Not dangerous or harmful; innocuous: an innocent prank.
b. Candid; straightforward: a child's innocent stare.
4.
a. Not experienced or worldly; naive.
b. Betraying or suggesting no deception or guile; artless.
5.
a. Not exposed to or familiar with something specified; ignorant: American tourists wholly innocent of French.
b. Unaware: She remained innocent of the complications she had caused.
6. Lacking, deprived, or devoid of something: a novel innocent of literary merit.
noun.
A person, especially a child, who is free of evil or sin.
A simple, guileless, inexperienced, or unsophisticated person.
A very young child.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
OK I'll just throw this out there for you to consider if you want. You used the word euphoric a few times describing how you feel. Some of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life was when I was feeling euphoric.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 491
Originally Posted by minnie
Which country is she from, Code?
I am struggling to respond here because I see a lot of things in your posts that make me wince in terms of your view of women. However, that is probably because I come from a different culture to you and I don't wish to get into a debate about all of that.
What if the fire goes out after you are married?
I am struggling to respond here because I see a lot of things in your posts that make me wince in terms of your view of women. However, that is probably because I come from a different culture to you and I don't wish to get into a debate about all of that.
What if the fire goes out after you are married?
Would you mind sharing what I may have said that was offensive as I would like to learn just to be more considerate in future or at least more tactful of what I mean if I miscommunicated soemthing...
She is born in Canada, went to HK British school (so english system / culture kind of thing) and came to US to go Standford. Her culture is a real mix of U.S. and Asia, its pretty cool cause she can speak multiple languages but being that she came from HK, you'd think shed be more "foreign" but she acts like she was a hip american girl born here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 491
Well relative to ME, she is innocent. I mean, not to be taken literally, we are pretty much BORN with sin. It was just an expression. 
Well I am not really basing my decision just on emotions, I am just saying I feel the love she gives and we have creates that feeling, and I never had that constant amount of feeling of love before esp with ex drug addict. I remember this feeling for aobut a week with her in our three years, it was when we had a little bit of a good time, but other then that, it was mainly misery and accepting this is as good as it gets kind a thing. So maybe compare to the past, I'm just discoverying NORMAL and NORMAL is just AMAZING!!!
Well I am not really basing my decision just on emotions, I am just saying I feel the love she gives and we have creates that feeling, and I never had that constant amount of feeling of love before esp with ex drug addict. I remember this feeling for aobut a week with her in our three years, it was when we had a little bit of a good time, but other then that, it was mainly misery and accepting this is as good as it gets kind a thing. So maybe compare to the past, I'm just discoverying NORMAL and NORMAL is just AMAZING!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 491
Originally Posted by best
OUCH!
Wasn't a big deal for me when we first were married but it sure is now.
As far as premarital counseling...
When you go, listen and collect info in a manner that you want to learn the most you can to help others.
What is given, most people ignore as they say...It will never happen to us.
Down the road when a problem comes up...Why didn't someone tell us about this?
But they did. Most ignored it in the premarital counseling because.."It will never happen to us."
It will happen. It does happen and knowing what to do before it happens...we can stop it when it starts. Learning the triggers and using communication before a problem comes about...we can have things not happen to us.
As for the rings... 18 carat-22 carat gold. 22 being the better is what you should look for. Where you get them isn't so big a deal. Making the choice together is more important.
Wasn't a big deal for me when we first were married but it sure is now.
As far as premarital counseling...
When you go, listen and collect info in a manner that you want to learn the most you can to help others.
What is given, most people ignore as they say...It will never happen to us.
Down the road when a problem comes up...Why didn't someone tell us about this?
But they did. Most ignored it in the premarital counseling because.."It will never happen to us."
It will happen. It does happen and knowing what to do before it happens...we can stop it when it starts. Learning the triggers and using communication before a problem comes about...we can have things not happen to us.
As for the rings... 18 carat-22 carat gold. 22 being the better is what you should look for. Where you get them isn't so big a deal. Making the choice together is more important.
But then, things change, you cant expect anything to stay the same, and you can just go with the flow and believe Destiny is looking for everyones best.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: north carolina
Posts: 365
well,before you look at rings,shouldnt you be pretty sure shes gonna say yes??? i mean,are you-really?
i know many women today dont want to,and shouldnt be,dependent on another person-especially financially...but sometimes when people say that,what they could really be saying is they arent ready for a committment such as marriage.
the counseling i would think,comes later after the engagement(?)
i have found over the years,that it is more about committment,than about the feelings we call love.
sounds far fetched to you,when life is grand but......with all the divorces today..things to think about (for anyone)-----can i see myself growing old with this person? growing older is not just about sittin on the porch watchin the sunset,or travelin the country in an rv.sometimes its about health problems,and such.am i committed--in sickness and health?
and sometimes,things happen with health long before we are old.diseases,accidents.....can i committ to taking care of this person in every possible way,if need be?
then theres good old money........if we were poor,for whatever reason--and had to give up our lifestyle,could we handle it? together?
and what about raising children? do we agree on discipline,schools,etc?
not meant to be a downer,just some thoughts....for anyone thinkin marriage or even living together.
i know many women today dont want to,and shouldnt be,dependent on another person-especially financially...but sometimes when people say that,what they could really be saying is they arent ready for a committment such as marriage.
the counseling i would think,comes later after the engagement(?)
i have found over the years,that it is more about committment,than about the feelings we call love.
sounds far fetched to you,when life is grand but......with all the divorces today..things to think about (for anyone)-----can i see myself growing old with this person? growing older is not just about sittin on the porch watchin the sunset,or travelin the country in an rv.sometimes its about health problems,and such.am i committed--in sickness and health?
and sometimes,things happen with health long before we are old.diseases,accidents.....can i committ to taking care of this person in every possible way,if need be?
then theres good old money........if we were poor,for whatever reason--and had to give up our lifestyle,could we handle it? together?
and what about raising children? do we agree on discipline,schools,etc?
not meant to be a downer,just some thoughts....for anyone thinkin marriage or even living together.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 491
hey sunshine, she is the one who would like marriage, me i wouldnt mind waiting longer. but she seems to want the security i suppose... the commitment as she isnt the play girl type.
those are good questions about children, schools, etc... we joke a lotabout that topic, but i bet it could become a serious issue when the time comes...
well i dont plan to propose or anything till end of the year, if i do propose, and itll be a little more time after that before we actually marry so there isnt a rush. this is actually way ahead of schedule researching.
by the way, i know the way i talked may have made it sound like i think she is dependant on me, but thats not what i meant at all. she is 100% independant and has been running like that all her life. that is why i love her even MORE cause i dont want someone who is with me on a need based relationship, she will always make it so we both dont NEED each other so much as we simply are together cause we LOVE each other.
i thought that was a pretty special move...
those are good questions about children, schools, etc... we joke a lotabout that topic, but i bet it could become a serious issue when the time comes...
well i dont plan to propose or anything till end of the year, if i do propose, and itll be a little more time after that before we actually marry so there isnt a rush. this is actually way ahead of schedule researching.
by the way, i know the way i talked may have made it sound like i think she is dependant on me, but thats not what i meant at all. she is 100% independant and has been running like that all her life. that is why i love her even MORE cause i dont want someone who is with me on a need based relationship, she will always make it so we both dont NEED each other so much as we simply are together cause we LOVE each other.
i thought that was a pretty special move...
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Codemaster,
If you are ready, you are ready.
Its interesting that you didnt ask any of us if you should get engaged. You didnt ask if we thought it was a good move.
You asked where to buy an engagement ring. Few of us answered that question.
Its your call, you dont need to justify anything to anyone here.
Best of luck and I do know a jeweler in Cali..pm me if you want his contact info.
If you are ready, you are ready.
Its interesting that you didnt ask any of us if you should get engaged. You didnt ask if we thought it was a good move.
You asked where to buy an engagement ring. Few of us answered that question.
Its your call, you dont need to justify anything to anyone here.
Best of luck and I do know a jeweler in Cali..pm me if you want his contact info.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 491
Thanks, I am not trying to justify but share my reasons of thinking and I wanted to see if anyone thought my reasons of thinking are not good reasons for marriage. I've been asking around for a sanity check hahaaa, I mean, I dont trust my own brain but I'll ask around more and look into everything more from marriage to ring. I shouldve asked if I should get married instead of ring, it was this forum that started to make me wonder so I'm taking a step back and going to look into some books slash counseling slash asking people I know what they think.... same time I can research rings.
No rush, its not like this will happen in a month or something... thanks for all the tips on rings and marriage sanity checks, very much appreciated....
No rush, its not like this will happen in a month or something... thanks for all the tips on rings and marriage sanity checks, very much appreciated....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I have another thread going about about ego boundries...
I think the book "The Road Less Travelled" would be a good
one for you to sink your teeth in to.....
He talks about the concept of falling in love and when "real" love
begins...fascinating...I think you might find it interesting if you keep
an open mind....
I think the book "The Road Less Travelled" would be a good
one for you to sink your teeth in to.....
He talks about the concept of falling in love and when "real" love
begins...fascinating...I think you might find it interesting if you keep
an open mind....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I may be way off base here and don't want to be insulting to you
or your g/f but......
I hope this marriage idea isn't because of immagration issues....
only one person benefits from that and that is only a temporary fix.
Again sorry if I am looking at this from the dark side.....
or your g/f but......
I hope this marriage idea isn't because of immagration issues....
only one person benefits from that and that is only a temporary fix.
Again sorry if I am looking at this from the dark side.....
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