Minx1969

I am sad tonight...

A dear friend of mine from grad. school called out of the blue. He's been struggling with his alcholism since before we graduated (going on 10 years now). I didn't realize he had a problem when we were in school..he was just fun.

I hadn't talked to him in over 2 years cuz he didn't return my calls..

Tonight he called.. He was drunk and his dad is dying of brain cancer. He admitted that he had been too ashamed to call me back because of all his troubles. (typical alcholic stuff..DUIs, financial troubles, jail time, multiple rehab, girl troubles, lost jobs etc. etc. etc.)

He's now a 2x felon in the State of California (three strikes and you are out). He only had 1 year of sobriety a few years ago..he's unemployed and living back at home while his dad is dying...

Talking to him made me realize how much of the man that I knew in school is gone..

My friend is in a lot of pain and definately not of sound mind..he sounds very depressed and paranoid about the world in general...

I got off the phone and had to cry..and then I called some Alanon friends and realized how lucky I am today to have a program and solutions for my life...

Please keep R and his dad in your prayers.

FormerDoormat

Sending prayers for all three of you. Very sad, indeed.

prodigal

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of the friend you remembered. It's just like grieving their death even though they're still among us. At least he finally contacted you. Did he give any indication when you were talking with him that he might consider getting help for his addiction?

Minx1969

He was so out of it..he said he didn't believe in god, the 12 steps don't work for him etc...

he was really drunk and maybe high..

My Alanon friend (my first sponsor) said I should give him a call tomorrow to see if he is sober and share my ESH..

of course he may not pick up the phone..

prodigal

Well, since he was totally trashed, he probably won't remember much, if anything, he said to you. However, when someone is on a bender and starts saying they don't believe in God, or any Higher Power, and they don't believe the 12 steps will help, we know that they're crying out in pain and frustration. It is such a tragedy to see how bitter they can become. They cease believing that anything or anyone can help them. It sounds like his call to you was a cry for help, for some connection with a rational person.

Give it a try tomorrow. He may not answer the phone. He may act as if he never spoke to you. But at least tonight, as messed up as he is, he needed to speak to you. I hope there's a glimmer of hope that if he picks up the phone, he'll listen to what you tell him tomorrow.

Janitw

Oh Minx - how sad this news is. I will pray for all 3 okay. It's sooo sad to see how this disease unfolds. (((hugs)))

Pick-a-name

You all have my prayers,too. Maybe this call from the blue is his HP's doing. I would make the call,too. We are not in charge of outcomes, but if you feel led to call, I certainly would do it. Glad this call came for you.a few years ago might have been an entirely different story.

I am sorry for your sorrow.

cwohio

prayers to your friend, his father and you minx - i truly believe we are where we are meant to be at the moments like this in our lives.

meli2005

It is hard to hear how others are affected, but there is help out there. He just has to make up his mind to go for the help. Glad you were there for him tonight, will say a prayer for him and all the other alcoholics.

Minx1969

well I talked to my friend R today..

He was sober and kind of lucid...definately not paranoid like he was the other night..much more like my friend I remember from grad. school.

Turns out the past few days since we talked he signed up for outpatient recovery 3 days a week and is planning on attending an AA meeting tomorrow...

So keep praying for him..I hope this time his sobriety takes for his sake...

He says he may come visit next month..I promised to take him to an awesome open AA speaker meeting I sometimes go to..Lots of speakers with long time sobriety..