Nana
Nana 
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: texas usa
Posts: 32
oh my gosh someone cares! oh my gosh,, you have no idea what that meant to me.. i just started bawling.. you all are my angels.. i love you all so much..
well it is not a good update.. i dont think i have written this. the other nigjht, night before last, i noticed that he didnt come out of the bathroom again for a long long time. well i started beating at the door and no answer for about 10 minutes.. well i found a screwdriver and finally got the door open and he HAD DONE IT AGAIN.,.DAMN IT.. HE HAD DONE SOMETHING,, I REALLY DONT KNOW CAUSE HE LIES SO MUCH. he had been out that day some for a few minutes. but he couldnt get of the pot at all. he was in sort of a seizure.. he was shaking, his hands were bloody and so was one of his scars on his arms. so he had used the stupid big syringe to put in duragesic he said.. he said he drew what was left in the patch and directly put it in.. who knows.. but boy did i get my **** together and leave as fast as i could but of course called his mom and told her to get over there and see if he needed 911. well she did and it took him awhile since he didnt have any nubaine but he straighted out on his own.. but i drove and drove with no money. so i finally decided since i had no gas, to stop at a small town that is about 8 miles from our town and asked if they would take a check , she said no at first but looked at me and decided that i probably needed to. so i spent the night there. so i called my daughters and they called me in the morning so i could check out at 11. i didnt sleep all night,,, it was scary. but he never has know where i was.. i told him i was at a rest park. he worried all night long. i came on home cause my mom is having really bad health problems, both of her parents died of strokes at her age and she is having hell with both of her brothers, one is mean and in a rest home and the other she just found out has cancer.. so i couldnt go home. so i just put my tail between my legs and came home , not before i called him and he begged and quacked and quacked.. **** **** ****..
i slept until 430 today.. staying half fu#$ed up on valium and norco, so i can stay with him. went to mom s lasts night cause it was her birthday and i put on my happy face.,she never knew what i went through the last night.. his arm now is all scarred up again after it was getting well. and we have to face docs next week. oh well... i am hurting really bad , in a MS flare only because of stress, that is all.. and all these hot checks i am writing.. i hope that hotel one dont bounce or they send it back ..
so far they pay for it and just charge me.. we will get paid wednesday. we are living off of egg sandwiches, 35 cent cokes, crackers, anything we can find in the house.. oh well, that is how it goes.. its a very little town and it is broke so there is no where to go to get food..
well that is my small update.. but i do still want to tell you how much i love all of you.. you have all just made my day.. it is now 4am and still not in bed..
i hope all of you are having a decent week. and thank you again for asking about me.......... nana
well it is not a good update.. i dont think i have written this. the other nigjht, night before last, i noticed that he didnt come out of the bathroom again for a long long time. well i started beating at the door and no answer for about 10 minutes.. well i found a screwdriver and finally got the door open and he HAD DONE IT AGAIN.,.DAMN IT.. HE HAD DONE SOMETHING,, I REALLY DONT KNOW CAUSE HE LIES SO MUCH. he had been out that day some for a few minutes. but he couldnt get of the pot at all. he was in sort of a seizure.. he was shaking, his hands were bloody and so was one of his scars on his arms. so he had used the stupid big syringe to put in duragesic he said.. he said he drew what was left in the patch and directly put it in.. who knows.. but boy did i get my **** together and leave as fast as i could but of course called his mom and told her to get over there and see if he needed 911. well she did and it took him awhile since he didnt have any nubaine but he straighted out on his own.. but i drove and drove with no money. so i finally decided since i had no gas, to stop at a small town that is about 8 miles from our town and asked if they would take a check , she said no at first but looked at me and decided that i probably needed to. so i spent the night there. so i called my daughters and they called me in the morning so i could check out at 11. i didnt sleep all night,,, it was scary. but he never has know where i was.. i told him i was at a rest park. he worried all night long. i came on home cause my mom is having really bad health problems, both of her parents died of strokes at her age and she is having hell with both of her brothers, one is mean and in a rest home and the other she just found out has cancer.. so i couldnt go home. so i just put my tail between my legs and came home , not before i called him and he begged and quacked and quacked.. **** **** ****..
i slept until 430 today.. staying half fu#$ed up on valium and norco, so i can stay with him. went to mom s lasts night cause it was her birthday and i put on my happy face.,she never knew what i went through the last night.. his arm now is all scarred up again after it was getting well. and we have to face docs next week. oh well... i am hurting really bad , in a MS flare only because of stress, that is all.. and all these hot checks i am writing.. i hope that hotel one dont bounce or they send it back ..
so far they pay for it and just charge me.. we will get paid wednesday. we are living off of egg sandwiches, 35 cent cokes, crackers, anything we can find in the house.. oh well, that is how it goes.. its a very little town and it is broke so there is no where to go to get food..
well that is my small update.. but i do still want to tell you how much i love all of you.. you have all just made my day.. it is now 4am and still not in bed..
i hope all of you are having a decent week. and thank you again for asking about me.......... nana
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
(((((((Nana))))))))
I have been reading your posts and following your story and my heart is just breaking for you! I'm scared that you're abusing valium and I know you want to break away but don't know how. But you also need to know and understand that you deserve a much better life!!!! You do not have to keep living your life for your husband, your mother, your kids and grandkids, or the town. When does Nana get to live for Nana???? I know making a huge change right now seems overwhelming, but you can start with baby steps, right? Start making preparations for a day when you just absolutely cannot live in your current sitution any more. I want you to be happy - we all do and we all care, very much! You need to take care of yourself and your own health.
We all love and want the best for you. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Hugs,
JG
I have been reading your posts and following your story and my heart is just breaking for you! I'm scared that you're abusing valium and I know you want to break away but don't know how. But you also need to know and understand that you deserve a much better life!!!! You do not have to keep living your life for your husband, your mother, your kids and grandkids, or the town. When does Nana get to live for Nana???? I know making a huge change right now seems overwhelming, but you can start with baby steps, right? Start making preparations for a day when you just absolutely cannot live in your current sitution any more. I want you to be happy - we all do and we all care, very much! You need to take care of yourself and your own health.
We all love and want the best for you. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Hugs,
JG
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Nana!
OH HELL! What an upset!
How are you today?
Surely, there is a food bank....we have gone there before and they are very sweet...lots of good people have problems and need that kind of help.
Or could you call one of the churches?
hugs,
live
OH HELL! What an upset!
How are you today?
Surely, there is a food bank....we have gone there before and they are very sweet...lots of good people have problems and need that kind of help.
Or could you call one of the churches?
hugs,
live
Guest
Posts: n/a
Nana,
Maybe you can get something instead of valium. Maybe an antidepressant or a non addictive tranqulizer. I think it's really hard to come off of valium and you certainly don't need any other problem to deal with. I know you are surviving right now and that's good, but maybe there is a better way.
Locate a shelter in the phone book so the next time you need to get away you'll have a plan in place. Don't worry if the doctor knows what's happening. They need to know.
Hugs,
MG
Maybe you can get something instead of valium. Maybe an antidepressant or a non addictive tranqulizer. I think it's really hard to come off of valium and you certainly don't need any other problem to deal with. I know you are surviving right now and that's good, but maybe there is a better way.
Locate a shelter in the phone book so the next time you need to get away you'll have a plan in place. Don't worry if the doctor knows what's happening. They need to know.
Hugs,
MG
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