StandingStrong

For those of you that have been following my story, you know that one of my children is refusing contact with Ah right now as they are upset about his DUI last month. My daughter was a bit upset & disappointed that I wouldn't allow her to go out of state to a Nascar race with her Dad and there have been some issues with one of our son's. And to top it off, two of the kids were upset that AH chose to spend Father's Day at the race and not here where they could see him. All in all...this weekend was looking to be a bad one. And in the past - it would have been.

However, I had a good talk with my Aunt the other day and she had pointed out to me just how negative that I am and the decisions that I make can be, etc. and it really got me to thinking. I'd never realized just what a negative person I really am. That talk with her has spurred alot of much-needed thinking on my part.

So, going on the negative discussion, I decided that this weekend was not going to be a bad weekend! Nope, it was not going to be depressing - and it was going to be FUN! Starting with a new attitude on my part.

Yesterday daughter was in a parade and afterwards we hung out for the festival. We all had a good time. ( I even saw "the Fling" there! )
Today was also a good day.

Now...I'm not going to say that I'm not going to feel the need to talk or vent to my friends on occassion if/when AH has me feeling upset. But I do believe that I need to get a better attitude. And in doing so, I think that I shall not harbor on the bad things. I will focus on the good things. I realize that this is going to be a learning process for me as I'm used to being negative. My first challenge was when a few subjects were brought up by my Mom today - I handled them greatly. I told her only the positives. She looked at me like I was nuts - as she thinks I should hate AH - but you know what - it felt good to be positive.

So...............I'm starting with a new attitude. One that I'll definately need to practice! But it's a start! One step at a time, right?

teke

i still see you as a strong person and the wisdom that you share is always an encouragement to me. thank you for showing me better ways of doing things.

DesertEyes

SS, that's a wonderful 'tude you got going there. Definetly in the right direction. You go! girl!

Mike

nevergivingup

I always think its soo amazing how once we get into our recovery from dealing with out addicts, we start to see how the affects of dealing with the past situations have actually spread into many other areas in our lives. For me, I have recently realized that I'm not even remotely as nice as I used to be. LOL! Alot of what I've dealt with has truly hardened me in pretty much all areas of my life.

This self-discovery is just fantastic!!! I wish you great luck in working those steps to being able to enjoy life.

Much love and hugs!

StandingStrong

I just thought of a saying I hadn't heard in quite some time,

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life"

I'm thinking I need to add that to my thoughts for when I'm feeling the desire to be negative to remind me that I CHOOSE to be positive.

I have already invisioned times where I'm seriously going to need to work very hard at maintaining a positive attitude (see, negative thinking already in the works for the future, ugh) - but I can only try. And remind myself that it's going to take time and practice.

FormerDoormat

Sung in my best Patti LaBelle voice:

oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh, you've got a new attitude! Way to go, SS! You're working hard on your recovery, and it SHOWS!

megamysterioso

I think that's a great thing to work on SS. You'll probably be amazed at how conciously focusing on or searching out the good things will make everything much better. Attitude is soooo important IMO. I've always been the eternal optimist and I've found in retrospect that that particular trait of mine has seen me through some very bleak times. You're off to a running start and I'm happy you had a good weekend.