Don't know what to think....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: IL
Posts: 8
Don't know what to think....
Hi, again. I posted a couple of days ago and have been reading a lot of posts. I don't feel that there is anything I can add to any of them because I don't feel that there is anything but misery that I can offer. Maybe that misery can help someone realize how far they've come in their recovery? Hmmm...interesting thought.
Anyhow, my AH was experimenting with alcohol after five months of being sober. He started a week and a half ago. Then, tonight he told me that he would be home in twenty minutes from work and he didn't get home until an hour and a half later. I told him that everytime that he drinks and drives, it really worries me and frightens me. Not only does it frighten me that he might kill himself or get arrested yet again with another DUI, but he might actually injure some innocent soul who was just driving down the road. He never listens.
I saw something tonight that really tore my soul out. I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything, but you know it's really bad when a man has to sit down to go to the restroom because he can't steady himself long enough to do it standing up without falling down. He told me that he didn't know how many he had, but I know from watching him before his five month sobriety that he can down them like his life depended on it.
He told me tonight that he is going to stop tomorrow-that his experiment didn't work. He told me that he would like to go to a noon meeting tomorrow. I said that would be great. He doesn't want to ruin our lives so he needs to stop drinking. I've been waiting to hear that he wants so stop drinking for himself, but that has yet to come out of his mouth. I am not going to get my hopes up (or maybe I already have my hopes up) of him quitting drinking tomorrow. How many times have I heard that? I really truly hope and pray that he does. Everything is so much better when he's not drinking. That does not mean that we have to stop working on ourselves, but at least the drinking is not taking place. Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts. I hope this is it. I hope that this little experiment to see if he could have one or two after a long day of work and not feel like he has to have more has shown him that he is not capable of drinking non-alcoholically. Time can only tell. Thank you for listening. And, if you could send a small prayer for my sanity and his for me, I would truly appreciate it.
Anyhow, my AH was experimenting with alcohol after five months of being sober. He started a week and a half ago. Then, tonight he told me that he would be home in twenty minutes from work and he didn't get home until an hour and a half later. I told him that everytime that he drinks and drives, it really worries me and frightens me. Not only does it frighten me that he might kill himself or get arrested yet again with another DUI, but he might actually injure some innocent soul who was just driving down the road. He never listens.
I saw something tonight that really tore my soul out. I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything, but you know it's really bad when a man has to sit down to go to the restroom because he can't steady himself long enough to do it standing up without falling down. He told me that he didn't know how many he had, but I know from watching him before his five month sobriety that he can down them like his life depended on it.
He told me tonight that he is going to stop tomorrow-that his experiment didn't work. He told me that he would like to go to a noon meeting tomorrow. I said that would be great. He doesn't want to ruin our lives so he needs to stop drinking. I've been waiting to hear that he wants so stop drinking for himself, but that has yet to come out of his mouth. I am not going to get my hopes up (or maybe I already have my hopes up) of him quitting drinking tomorrow. How many times have I heard that? I really truly hope and pray that he does. Everything is so much better when he's not drinking. That does not mean that we have to stop working on ourselves, but at least the drinking is not taking place. Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts. I hope this is it. I hope that this little experiment to see if he could have one or two after a long day of work and not feel like he has to have more has shown him that he is not capable of drinking non-alcoholically. Time can only tell. Thank you for listening. And, if you could send a small prayer for my sanity and his for me, I would truly appreciate it.
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
Small nah, When I pray for someone they are big!! Prayers and thoughts are coming ur & H's way. Keep ur chin up and know u are never alone in this chaos we call active alcoholism. 
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
(((Goal)))-- I feel for you, but only time and his actions will tell. I find it hard to believe that he can just give it up so easily. From my own experiences, those types of proclamations have meant absolutely nothing.
I do know about the sit-down pee all too well. My AH does it often and many times, he will simply lean over and place his hands on the mirror above the toilet to hold his balance. He usually stumbles and sways anyway. I have these disgusting fingerprints all over that mirror most everyday. It is disturbing.
I do know about the sit-down pee all too well. My AH does it often and many times, he will simply lean over and place his hands on the mirror above the toilet to hold his balance. He usually stumbles and sways anyway. I have these disgusting fingerprints all over that mirror most everyday. It is disturbing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sussex, NJ
Posts: 1,331
My RAH never told me why he decided to stop and go to rehab, he just did. I never pressed him for a reason .... if he is looking for a reason to quit that he feels he needs to vocalize, he probably doesn't mean it.
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