sunshine003

I have been sorta quiet lately. Not sure why, haven't felt sad or anything, haven't gotten sucked back in but I have had some struggles in my own mind. I'm to a point where I'm sick of hearing myself....hence, I feel quiet. I know what I know, I'm headed down the right path but have doubts sometimes. If I know what I know, I don't understand why the doubts creep in. I guess it's denial trying to creep in??

ok, so court....my lawyer presented why I wanted to move, how I fulfilled the six requests for moving, etc. My ah's lawyer listed why I shouldn't be allowed to leave stating I'd come between the "child/father bond" , etc. I go back in two weeks for the decision.

I knew that would happen as my lawyer said the judge doesn't too often decide on the spot as lots of others are waiting to be heard after you. His decision will be told in two weeks, not so much because it takes him that long to decide but because it takes that long to get back into court.
*I* believe I'll be told I can go but I am sorta nervous I'll be told something else. I'll just sit and wait and think positive.

pmaslan

Good for you. In my state they have a couple go to a mediator
to hash things out before it goes back to court and in front of the judge.
I hope that it goes you way....

Jazzman

Well the good news is at least ONE day in court is behind you.... plus FL is a pretty conservative "Mom friendly" state.. ( I think) Or at least compared to some states further north.

I think once you are no longer living in the same house... things will really deflate for you. Very stressful situation there. Like I said in another thread, I lived like that (under the same roof but not yet separated) for 3, almost 4 months. It sucked the life out of me.

Are you getting out of the house on a regular?

Cynay

Way cool, the first step is out of the way.

Child/Father bonds can be creative... When I moved out of state I arranged it so he would spend the same amount of time with her as if he were seeing her every other weekend.... I would send her for 2 months in the summer and her spring break. I pointed out too that this way it would be "better quality" because there is no break in the time they spend and she will have the opportunity to get a "feel" of what living with him is like. My ex honestly thought she would want to live with him.... I also kept a record of the time he did spend with her in the last year and submitted that... It was ovious that he did not take advantage of the weekend visits.

Well there was nothing he could say and so I moved out of State. I knew when I moved that he would not change and that I would only send her in the summer.

Hang tight and think positive... are your things still packed?

mallowcup

In the next two weeks you'll have changed the verdict about a million times just thinking about it. I agree, I think the Judge will let you go. They come up with some pretty liberal visitation schedules. I think it's awesome that this part of it is over and it must somehow feel good that the decision is in the Judges hands. You are open to whatever the answer is. That is huge! It seems like you have come an awefully long way, His will be done. I have often referred to times in my life when it appeared I was doing nothing as times when I was actively waiting in faith. Whatever the Judges decision, it will be the right one for you.

Zoey

Hopeing for the right deceision for you, and sending hugs !
Keep us posted, I miss you when you arn't here everyday shareing.

sunshine003

This state is very "mother friendly" jazz. That is a welcomed blessing to me.

Thanks you guy's. You're all right, this one thing is now behind me.

Mallow, thats a good way to look at it, thank you.

sunshine003

oh and patty, they do that a lot here also. I pray the judge doesn't suggest that first, whatta waste of two weeks, LOL. NOTHING would get resolved that way, I don't see him ever settling on anything short of my staying right here.

LaTeeDa

I hope you get what you want. So if it goes in your favor two weeks from now, is that it? Are you free to leave at that point?

L

sunshine003

yes, I'll be free to leave at that point and have to follow whatever visitation guidelines are set.

Jazzman

See, now I just don't get that part. Is he happy w/ the relationship the way it is? Of course not! How in the world could someone NOT get the hint that it has run its course?!?! The jig is up! You see him now for who he is. "The grand facade, so soon will burn", (Peter Gabriel).
So all he has to do is convince you to be reasonable and all will be happy again? Just like before? And how happy WAS before, really? Time for acceptance on his part.

Have another drink Mr. Sunshine!

sorry, kinda got me going there for a minute....

sunshine003

LOL jazz. He is in such denial though....according to mr. sunshine, we were happy. You see jazz, *I* didn't give him a hard time about anything, hook, line and sinker, I fell for all his BS. If he wanted to go out, he was met with a "ok, have a good time." If he came home way late, he wasn't met with much because he beat me to it by coming home angry telling me how he was mad at me for some made up reason and that is why he stayed out. I was a good codie, never faltered or tried to convince him what he was saying was crazy. It wasn't until the last few months that the jig was up. But for him, for years his blame and turn arounds worked. He was never sorry for his wrong doings, I was, LOL.

So yes, to him, all he has to do is convince me that it isn't what I think, that I'm wrong and all will be back to that happy kitty land place.

cwohio

hang tight sunshine - you've made it this long - a few more weeks will be worth it. the universe is unfolding just as it should and it will for you!

sunshine003

Thank you cwohio, one day at a time I keep reminding myself.

denny57

Good luck (((sunshine))) - you're doing great.

megamysterioso

You'd be surprised Jazz. I hope that Sunshine's man takes this on the chin and can move forward and leave her alone and in peace no matter which way the judge rules. I'm all for you Sunshine. Surely this judge is smart enough to read between the lines and grant in your favor. You deserve it and I'm praying that two more weeks is all you have left to endure. Good luck sweetie.

steve11694

the court should be sympathetic to the NON alcoholic/addict parent regardless of gender..

my AW's scamming a friends tried to coach her into getting sympathy from the court by appearing to be the poor victim with a young child. the scamming friends wanted to get me out so they could move into our house and greatly elevate their lifestyle.

in this matter my wife actually did not have that degree of evil, it was her new circle of advisors, all of course admitted to the bar, without ever having attended law school.