the rattlesnake is back, even in recovery
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Minou,
Mr. Big is a "dry drunk"... we quit drinking back in 1983, but none of the issues were ever addressed in recovery... we just quit.
The past couple of years, I have received help via Alanon, but Mr. Big is still where he has been for 23 years.... pissy.
I do not believe it is unusual to become a "rageaholic" once the booze is gone. It is just another way to "switch addictions", and like alcohlism... it is progressive. Unpredictable. Unforgiveable. Unforgettable.
There can be help, but it certainly isn't about an apology... Mr. Big has apologized more times than I can count .... it is about changing behavior. There are counseling groups that focus on behavior modification and teaches clients how to be AWARE of their feelings when they FIRST begin to rise.. which for most rageaholics, is not very long at all before they erupt... they are carrying such a big load, they are "on the edge" all the time.
Watch for signs of escalation, and if he does... get your kid out of there, and I don't mean until it blows over. I mean out of there.
This can be the start of a dangerous situation, in my opinion. I wish you the best, and am including you in my prayers. (((((Minou)))))
Mr. Big is a "dry drunk"... we quit drinking back in 1983, but none of the issues were ever addressed in recovery... we just quit.
The past couple of years, I have received help via Alanon, but Mr. Big is still where he has been for 23 years.... pissy.
I do not believe it is unusual to become a "rageaholic" once the booze is gone. It is just another way to "switch addictions", and like alcohlism... it is progressive. Unpredictable. Unforgiveable. Unforgettable.
There can be help, but it certainly isn't about an apology... Mr. Big has apologized more times than I can count .... it is about changing behavior. There are counseling groups that focus on behavior modification and teaches clients how to be AWARE of their feelings when they FIRST begin to rise.. which for most rageaholics, is not very long at all before they erupt... they are carrying such a big load, they are "on the edge" all the time.
Watch for signs of escalation, and if he does... get your kid out of there, and I don't mean until it blows over. I mean out of there.
This can be the start of a dangerous situation, in my opinion. I wish you the best, and am including you in my prayers. (((((Minou)))))
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: novato, ca
Posts: 181
I've been thinking about this situation because it is so much like my own, except my AH isn't sober (yet). I've also been doing some reading here and there about alcohol, mood disorders, personality disorders, brain chemistry... I'm thinking, perhaps the alcohol has always been self medicating for a pre-existing brain chemical imbalance but just like other imbalances, like anxiety and depression, the alcohol just ends up intensifying the original problem. I agree with BigSis about their needing to change their behavior because, just like any other neurologically based behavior (like sneezing) they can learn to control their behavior most of the time. I'm a big believer in cognitive psychology. If cognitive psychology alone isn't working well enough, there are medications that may help (certain anti-depressants and anxiety among medications among them). Of course, as innocent bystanders, we always have the option of leaving. But if they are working on their behavior and getting progressively better, well, that's enough to keep me happy with my AH for now.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
