Alone, but not lonely
Getting busy living!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Worcester MA
Posts: 199
Alone, but not lonely
Update from here ... Found my AH on my back screen porch this morning. I guess he stayed out in the woods for most of the night but I'm not sure. He was limping around and it seems he hurt his knee. Not surprised, drunks stumble alot!
Spoke with his parole officer and I told him I wanted to rescind my home sponsorship for his parole as he was drinking and getting very drunk. I took the afternoon off from work and by the time I got home the parole officer was here and my AH was on the phone with the detox hospital looking for a bed. So the plan is he goes through detox and rehab for as long as they'll keep him and then he has to find a placement in a residential treatment facility. A sober house I would assume or something like that. Bottom line for me is that he can't come back here until I decide that he can and his determination to recover will dictate whether or not he ever comes back.
The addict in him was in full tilt. He said hardly anything to me and when he looked at me it certainly wasn't with anything close to love in his eyes. The addict hates me, I know that, and it doesn't bother me as I hate the addict right back.
Although it certainly wasn't a pleasant situation I am feeling really good. A true sense of relief. Ticks me off that I had to call the parole officer as they're alcohol/drug testing program is a total joke! A major reason why the addict in my AH hates me. I blew the whistle on him!
My son leaves June 26th for the summer. He'll be a teaching assistant at a theatre camp in the northern part of the state. So that means I'll have this house to myself for almost a good two months! *****!!!!
So, I just wanted to let you all know what's what and know that I'm doing just fine with all this. I feel good and I feel at peace. I know my therapist will be proud of me! I did this for me and no one else. I think I'll start doing that sort of thing a bit more often. It feels darn good! Thanks!!!!
Spoke with his parole officer and I told him I wanted to rescind my home sponsorship for his parole as he was drinking and getting very drunk. I took the afternoon off from work and by the time I got home the parole officer was here and my AH was on the phone with the detox hospital looking for a bed. So the plan is he goes through detox and rehab for as long as they'll keep him and then he has to find a placement in a residential treatment facility. A sober house I would assume or something like that. Bottom line for me is that he can't come back here until I decide that he can and his determination to recover will dictate whether or not he ever comes back.
The addict in him was in full tilt. He said hardly anything to me and when he looked at me it certainly wasn't with anything close to love in his eyes. The addict hates me, I know that, and it doesn't bother me as I hate the addict right back.
Although it certainly wasn't a pleasant situation I am feeling really good. A true sense of relief. Ticks me off that I had to call the parole officer as they're alcohol/drug testing program is a total joke! A major reason why the addict in my AH hates me. I blew the whistle on him!
My son leaves June 26th for the summer. He'll be a teaching assistant at a theatre camp in the northern part of the state. So that means I'll have this house to myself for almost a good two months! *****!!!!
So, I just wanted to let you all know what's what and know that I'm doing just fine with all this. I feel good and I feel at peace. I know my therapist will be proud of me! I did this for me and no one else. I think I'll start doing that sort of thing a bit more often. It feels darn good! Thanks!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
It's nice to read about someone making healthy choices for themselves. Good for you!
P.S. It's been a year for me since he's been gone, and rarely if ever, have I felt lonely. Looking back, some of my lonliest times was when he was passed out on the couch, right in front of me.
Enjoy the peace and quiet!
P.S. It's been a year for me since he's been gone, and rarely if ever, have I felt lonely. Looking back, some of my lonliest times was when he was passed out on the couch, right in front of me.
Enjoy the peace and quiet!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
Looking back, some of my lonliest times was when he was passed out on the couch, right in front of me.
TG - you are doing an awesome job and bottom line - doing it for the right reason - YOU!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I felt lonely when he was sitting across from me repeating himself
over and over again..."Have I told you how much I love you? Do you
know how much I love you?" Over and over again with the far away
glazed look in his drunken eyes...I was so lonely just hearing words
that didn't meet the actions....
TG I am glad that you are handling this so well. Take care of yourself
and I know you are looking forward to time alone....I never have that anymore...now that school..... oh well......
over and over again..."Have I told you how much I love you? Do you
know how much I love you?" Over and over again with the far away
glazed look in his drunken eyes...I was so lonely just hearing words
that didn't meet the actions....
TG I am glad that you are handling this so well. Take care of yourself
and I know you are looking forward to time alone....I never have that anymore...now that school..... oh well......
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Ahhhh I remember those summers when my daughter would go to visit her father and I had the place to myself. I miss those times too!
Your right there is nothing more lonely then being alone in another persons arms.
TG sounds like your doing great to me.... keep on keeping on.
Your right there is nothing more lonely then being alone in another persons arms.
TG sounds like your doing great to me.... keep on keeping on.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Originally Posted by pmaslan
I felt lonely when he was sitting across from me repeating himself over and over again..."Have I told you how much I love you? Do you
know how much I love you?" Over and over again......
know how much I love you?" Over and over again......
What is it with the repeating the same thing over and over and over again? And he always seemed to get stuck on the "I love you", "do you know how much I love you", "you're my girl" phrases - nothing else is repeated like that. Does their brain get stuck on a single thought or disconnect somehow? I don't mean for this to sound nasty or cruel; it's that I could never figure this part of it out. I wonder if guilt is involved somehow. Guilt for what they are doing to themselves, to us, etc.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
ICU - it's called short term memory loss or in other words - stage 4. I know all about it. My son would call me at work and say that his dad keeps asking him every 10 minutes what he wanted for dinner...and son kept telling him nothing he's was going out for the evening... stage 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
[quote=pmaslan]I felt lonely when he was sitting across from me repeating himself
over and over again..."Have I told you how much I love you? Do you
know how much I love you?" Over and over again with the far away
glazed look in his drunken eyes...I was so lonely just hearing words
that didn't meet the actions....[quote]
OMG!! So my exah wasn't the only one to do this?
I swear, he told me he loved me 20 times a day. Put little love notes in my lunch in the morning.... Talk about total and complete manipulation!!!
TG...
I am just so proud of you!
So dang proud!!!
Cheers to you!!!!
over and over again..."Have I told you how much I love you? Do you
know how much I love you?" Over and over again with the far away
glazed look in his drunken eyes...I was so lonely just hearing words
that didn't meet the actions....[quote]
OMG!! So my exah wasn't the only one to do this?
I swear, he told me he loved me 20 times a day. Put little love notes in my lunch in the morning.... Talk about total and complete manipulation!!!
TG...
I am just so proud of you!
So dang proud!!!
Cheers to you!!!!
Getting busy living!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Worcester MA
Posts: 199
Thanks everyone for your pats on the back. And I guess my AH did spend the night passed out in the woods. I found his clothes in the laundry. What a mess! What A's will go through just to feed their addiction. Blows my mind some times!
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