MySecret

already, only a week after dettox, he didnt hide them or anything but he didnt tell me I foudn them in the rubbish....I am pleased he didnt hit realy beer so i suppose thats a bonus but I dont think its a good sign, what are your thoughts? and said hes to tired to go to AA tonight he hasnt been since the dettoz, I just have a bad feeling all this doesnt give me hope..

elizabeth1979

Lots of threads have been started over this exact sunject Jen, so good question.

My thoughts are mine..but since you asked

Na beer is a substitue for the real thing. Is he drinking one or 10?
I really like Diet Coke, but I dont drink a case. I drink one.

See my point?

denny57

hang in there jen ((()))

i don't have any experience with a recovering A so i don't know what to say about him. but i agree, it doesn't look good. in my own recovery even when i'm "too tired" i get myself to a meeting because i know it's important. maybe he's just not there yet. have you asked him about it?

pmaslan

My ex did the NA beer things after detox and a program....
As far as know he is still drinking and it isn't NA beer.....

Jazzman

My ex did the near beer thing a week after rehab #2. then the real beer thing a week after that.

I had quit as well and she brought this stuff home saying she likes the taste... (yeah RIGHT!!)Then asked me if I wanted one, (join me so I'm not the only one). I said no way, it would just make me want the real thing.

In fact it does have alcohol in it, read the label. Albeit a very small amount still, anyone fresh out of rehab or detox drinking near beer is flirting with a disastrous trigger WAY too early in their recovery... IMO.

elizabeth1979

I can also say that when my ex drank NA beer it led to AA beer.

laurie6781

Never mind that he's too tired to go to a meeting, look at his actions...he's getting ready to go right back to drinking. He's easing you into it by starting with the NA beer.

What are you doing for you Jen.. Are you going to Al anon? If you are have you talked to your sponsor?

For you to have any sanity and peace of mind, you MUST take the focus off of 'him' and put it on yourself. Remember the 3 C's.....you didn't CAUSE it, you can't CONTROL it, and you sure in h*ll can't CURE it.

Keep posting as we all do care very much.

Love and (((((to all))))),

buktrouble

On another note, when I was much younger I had an girlfriend who's father was an alcoholic. However, he'd been clean for 20 years. But, he did drink non-alcoholic beer, not a ton of it, but he'd have one with dinner, etc. He just liked the taste of beer. Personally, I didn't drink beer for the taste (though I would often tell myself that), I drank it to get drunk. I don't think I could drink non-alcoholic beer and not be tempted to ditch it for the real thing. But, there are people out there who can and do. Maybe just talk to him about it?

pmaslan

Buktrouble.... Jen's H just got out of detox.
Did your girlfriends father have some sobriety time
before drinking NA beer or was he drinking it straight
out of detox?

buktrouble

I'm not sure, to be honest. And I apologize if I made it sound like it was ok to drink n/a beer. I was just relating a past experience. Honestly, I don't know if it is ok or not. I don't know enough about it. I couldn't do it without being too tempted. Anyway, sorry if my last post came off like I wasn't talkign it seriously. I am, just thought I'd share the only experience I had with an alcoholic drinking na beer.

pmaslan

Not at all I appreciate your share here.
I think if someone is dead serious about getting sober
they wouldn't choose something that even resembled beer...
I can count that Root Beer called "IBC" that looks like beer into the mix!!

gelfling

Like Jazz said, it still has alcohol in it. It will be a matter of time before he tells you that the "real" stuff only has a little more alcohol in it than the non-beer. Walked that walk already.

Aquiana

It didn't work for G either. He tried that a couple of years ago after he left rehab. He didn't even make it through the whole six pack before the real stuff was in the fridge right next to the fake stuff. I finally used the fake stuff about a year later for a recipe. IMO it's kind of like when a smoker quits, and then decides they can smoke a lighter kind instead. Most of the time you just continue smoking and after a while you just go right back to the ones you had before. That's the way it was for me anyway. A smoke is a smoke and a beer is a beer no matter how much poison is in them. He's probably either trying to fool you, himself or both.

equus

He may be making a mistake (probably!) but that's often part of the process. I wrote this a couple of days ago - you never know it might help.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ses-stuff.html

reader

I have mixed feelings on this, I know for Burt that his attempts to drink N/A beers led to real ones after a few weeks. i do know a man who was a heavy drinker and quit over 20+ years ago. He drinkers N/A beers socially though I am not positive if he drinks them at home. I think this can imitate the habit of consuming alcohol, so for many it is a downfall in quiting. My mother who quit smoking recently had to stop the coffee because it reminded her too much of the cigs. Could be similar with drinking. Just a thought! Kerry

Pick-a-name

Sorry..........sounds like it is all a part of the process; a rite-of-passage before quitting. Kinda a sliding board into the drink instead of a jump. Even my AH tried this mode of "control". (He just drank because he likes the taste of beer.....as it turns out, only the kkind with alcohol in it! ha). Others on the other forum said it was a great "cover" for beer breath to drink NA beer in view and sneak the real stuff, etc.,etc.,...........

It is a re-current theme over on the "Alcoholism" forum.

Glad you are here....hugs to you .

BTW: it does have some (slight) alcohol in it...something like.5%. Enough to re-activate the craving in many, it seems.

StandingStrong

Many many years ago, Ah was going to quit. It was one of the countless times. Of course, Ah didn't go into detox or go to AA or any such thing as his pride still told him he could quit on his own - and his words to me I think were as much to convince himself as it was to convince me.
Needless to say, the near beer soon became the cover up for the real stuff. He kept the near beer handy and that was the smell I smelled, that's what he'd been drinking, etc. Umm....turned out that it wasn't true and eventually he admitted that he'd tried it for awhile but then used it as a cover up to his drinking again.

While I've heard of a few that can do it - I haven't heard of many that can use it as a replacement without falling back into the real thing.

Sophia57

My husband (recovery 13 years) believes 'non-alcoholic beer is non-alcoholics'.
He was never much of a beer drinker but he wouldn't touch non-alcoholic wine either (he loved wine) because it would put in the zone of remembering how good the real stuff felt.
The fact that your hubby hasnt been to AA is also a red flag, Jen. When he's tired (HALT) tht's when he should run there! Or anywhere else that helps his sobriety
Sophia x

bahookie

Well I'm interested in this because my partner is on the non alcoholic beer too. She's been sober for over a decade but now settles down with a beer and a joint of an evening.
There's a little jittery time each evening before the hash tin comes out.

I've wee niggly thoughts coming into my head sometimes about it turning to real beer, but really, what's the point? She'll do what she'll do.

J
xxx

meli2005

The addiction therapist we have both seen said to stay away from non-alcoholic immitation beverages like that, champagne, beer, etc. She said it can make them eventually go back to the "real" thing. I think it is just a substitution personally....