megamysterioso

Thanks so much Missus, kermit and liveweyerd. I appreciate your prayers and concern. I'll post an update tomorrow. I'm exhausted right now.

Kermit- I hope all is OK in your neck of the woods.

gypsyrose

I know too well what they can be like when that switch in their brain gets flipped by the alcohol. Sorry you are having to live with it right now. Have you contacted a women's shelter about your situationand find out how they might be able to help you in an emergency? You could check into storage for your things. Just so you know you have a back up plan if needed. Glad to hear you're talking to a lawyer.

Meanwhile, visualizing the good things you can create for yourself when you have your own place might help. I took great comfort in mentally decorating my imaginary new home when I took a time out from my AH and was considering whether or not to go back. If you live in an area with book stores that are open late you could start spending time there looking at the decorating magazines or whatever interests you to get out of the house.

megamysterioso

You know what gypsy? I do this all the time . I even go so far as to visualize what my fridge will have in it (never have to look at the stuff he eats and I don't like, etc.)-- silly I know. It gives me something to look forward to though. I think I'm going to change my "style" completely after this is said and done. I'm very excited. Thanks for your kind words.

kermit

Hey Mega, things are okay over here. You know what I love most about not having my AH living with me? The smell. I never realized how bad the alcohol smelled. Now when I burn my candles, I get to smell them.

outonalimb

(((Mega)))

Please be careful, okay? He sounds unstable.

I remember how it felt in the weeks leading up to the time I moved out of our former marital home. I couldn't wait to be free. I used to dream of the peace I would have in my new 'home'. I hadn't planned on moving out as soon as I did...but one day, I just realized that I couldn't take another minute of the insanity and I left. I wish your place was available today. When is your move-out date? Is there any way you can move it up? At the very least, maybe you can move all of your belongings into that storage locker and find a new place to stay temporarily. It sounds like your ah poses a physical danger to you... And I know from my own experience that the sheer mental stress of living like this can be overwhelming (debilitating, even)....

Hang in there Mega...
You're almost there....

lovemypup

Yes be very careful. I never would have thought after all the years I was with my AH that he would hurt me. I pushed him too far one night (I know I should have let him be) about his drinking and he choked me and threw me against the wall. I grabbed my phone and he took it away and talked me out of calling anyone for help. A year later I left. I stayed with my daughter for a couple weeks then rented an apartment and he would not let me take any of my things so I went to the store and bought an air mattress to sleep on and 2 lawnchairs for my living room furniture until I got a lawyer and the judge ordered him to give me my things-3 months later. So if you want out you will find a way. He has fought me the whole way. I had to get a court date recently in order for him to give me the money he owed me for the house. He would not let me have the check unless I came to his house alone (and we are divorced). No way was I going to do that. He ended up throwing the check on my daughters porch all crumpled up in a ball because he didnt want to go to court. He has just been as mean as he could be through this whole thing. Thank god I am done with him now! So I do know what you are going thru and what you have yet to endure with him. I wish you well.

megamysterioso

Oh my (((lovemypup))). I am so sorry for that hell you had to deal with. I'm glad that you managed to get out of there safely-- even if it took a year later to do it. That's the thing though isn't it??? You just never really know what they are capable of when they are that unstable and on booze. I would be more than happy to sleep on an air mattress and sit on lawn chairs if that's what it took to keep myself safe. I'm very happy you are out of there and I hope my divorce will go smoother than that (I pray really).

Outonalimb- my move out date is 7/7/06 and there is no way I can get that bumped up. I've tried everything and even contacted the tenant about her moving early. It's not an option. I plan on taking my most valuable things to storage first and will leave to get a temporary place to stay if it is necessary. Safety first- I know.

Thank you all so much.