sunshine003

I have a court date. This is to decide if I can leave the state. I'm so excited. My attorney told me to not be shocked if I'm given another date and don't get an answer the first time. But I'm still hopefull I'll get an answer.

Things here have been rather calm. AH has been trying to get me to crack since I saw him out at that bar. He sends e mails, calls and tries to talk at home. i was responding at first, just letting him know that seeing him out with my own eyes just confirmed what I always knew. I told him that if I took a good look back at our relationship, it's all the same, over and over and that I just had enough.....bottom line, alcohol or not, I had no trust in him whatsoever. He tries to convince me other wise. i stopped even responding with that. Now, I just say, "I am not going over this again."

Strange but, when you're done, you really are just done. He knows we have a court date so I just hope he doesn't turn angry.

You know what else? as he talks and tries to convince, I hear him telling me how I feel. It's annoying. i suppose i used to believe i felt the way he'd tell me to feel. But now, I just cringe and wonder if he hears himself. Things like, "I know you love me" or "You do trust me, you know how much I love you, you don't believe that...." blah blah blah.

I've spent years with someone telling me how I feel and what I believe. I can define my own feelings, thank you. Whats more, I can believe whatever I choose and I don't have to feel bad about MY reality. he's a control freak in every aspect.

ASpouse

You know what ......... I don't think he believes it's really going to happen sunshine. He lives in a world where what he says is the way it is ..... and sadly I think he really believes if he just "says it enough, wishes enough, and wants it to be so enough" it will be!

How frustrating to live with someone like that ..... like trying to convince a child who really believes something that it just isn't so. Yikes, he frustrates me just from your posts, I can't imagine how I'd feel if I met him in person ...... probably want to slap him LOL!

sunshine003

LOL Judy. you probably would but maybe he's so good, he'd be able to convince you that everything is all in my head and he's spent so much time and energy trying to show me how he feels about me, how much he loves me....I was just always looking for a reason to leave, wanting something to be wrong, etc. LMAO. gosh, I can play him now so well.

I don't think he believes I'll go through with anything either. For two reasons, because he's never lost anything and because I've never left. I'm certain he thinks he can convince me, that I'm just being difficult and punishing him......h

Cynay

You handled that really well.... as my sponsor would say.... have compassion for him, he is sick sick sick and if that does not work...:uzi2:

Hope all goes in your favor in court the first time around!!!!!

I hate when others "tell" me how I feel too... drives me nuts

megamysterioso

I swear our guys are the same guys Sunshine-- it's the same manipulative BS with my AH.

I'm very happy for you and that things are progressing! He probably won't believe it until it all goes down, but be strong. He'll probably pull out all the stops.

ASpouse

I doubt it sunshine, that he could convince me .... I've been around BS too long and my BS meter operates at 100% all the time!

Zoey

Hope your court date goes YOUR WAY. hugs

elizabeth1979

Hope things go well!
I doubt he is worried, for reasons allready stated. But, what he thinks is not your issue. He can think hes the bloody man in the moon, whatever. Alcoholics dont operate in reality so there train of thought is seriously derailed.

You are right..when you are done, you are done. Everyone has a different bottom. The moment I knew I knew I was done, and over it..that was a good feeling!

Be strong!

denny57

Good luck, Sunshine!

doubletime

Hope everything goes your way. I filed on May 5th so hopefully everything will be final around July 5th (or maybe the 4th Independence Day)!!!LOL Good luck and will keep you in my prayers.



Doubletime

LaTeeDa

Not to be a wet blanket, but I work in the court system and I have to say it's a wonder anything ever gets decided. Even if your attorney has all his ducks in a row, your H's attorney can simply ask for more time and will probably get it. It's very frustrating. I just don't want you to get your hopes up and be disappointed. The good news is, it will likely turn out in your favor in the end, but be prepared for delays. Stay strong. I have faith in you and your strength. I believe you will prevail.

((Sunshine))

L

FormerDoormat

Here's hoping the judge rules in your favor the first time around. Keeping you in my prayers, Sunshine.