fluffyflea

Like your picture Sunflower, she/he looks the epitome of serene.

Earthworm

denny57

When they suffer an injury is when they're likely to seek treatment. Usually thinking they will fool the professional, too, which they often do. Sometimes not, and then they tend to stop treatment when they can't manipulate it. Fascinating stuff which only, as you say Minnie, aided in my own recovery - it helped me realize his illness(es) had NOTHING to do with me. It also taught me a deeper compassion for mental illness and helped me realize how much I don't know.

minnie

Bottom line, end of story. He was never doing it to me, he was just doing it. In fact, it was ME that was doing "it" to me by choosing to be in that situation, in a sense.

denny57

I consider that one of the humongous breakthroughs of my life LOL! When it finally, finally, clicked that I was choosing this for myself, that I was not a friggin victim, hallelujah!

Seeking Wisdom

Fascinating Post.. thank you.

It is amazing, by reading this I realized one of my neighbors fit the description of a sociopath perfectly. We lived across the street from them for almost 10 years and she made my family's life miserable. Everything she did was ultimately to manipulate people into doing things to her fulfill her desires and needs and she would stop at almost nothing. She had children the same age as mine and considered my innocent kids somehow a threat to her own children's popularity, which was totally unwarranted ... so she did everything in her power to integrate her influence into other parent's lives and to assure my kids would be excluded activities. Sick, sick behavior that resulted in hurting innocent kids ... she would literally babysit other people kids for entire weekends, invite their parent's to elaborate social events... just so she could have them indebted to her and assure that her kids would always be included in these families social activities, birthday parties, swim parties..etc. She would tell lies about my kids just to alienate them. I could not believe an adult could invest themselves into such superficial, self serving behaviors in such a cruel heartless manner to hurt kids that had done nothing to warrant it.
Some of our neighbors eventually came to realize she was mentally ill once they got to know her better, myself included, unfortunately she had already done significant damage ... however I never had a name for it...now I do.

Thanks for this thread ... I have found it to be very informative and interesting.

FormerDoormat

LOL, Minnie, I bumped the thread the other night without going back and reading all the original responses. I just remembered that I had included several other passages that I found were somewhat relevant to things I experienced with Richard.

It's funny how sometimes you find help in the least expected places. I bought the book with my former neighbor in mind--wanting to find an answer to her cruel behavior and to see if my suspicions were on track or if I was just over-dramatizing the situation in my mind. The book was helpful in two ways, (1) it helped me learn to trust my inner voice; when something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't; and (2) it helped me better understand some of the behavior that Richard exhibited in the throes of his alcoholism.

Regardless of whether you've known someone who exhibits sociopathic traits or not, the book is a fascinating read. If you happen to come across a copy, pick it up.

GlassPrisoner

Items in bold fit my ex-wife to a tee. Interesting....

FormerDoormat

Bumped for Karismac.

cinderellawkids

Im so glad this was bumped. Great read. Im feeling better already

Lilyflower

Thanks FD this is a real eye opener for me...

Lily xxxxxxxxxxx

FormerDoormat

Bumping this back up to the top since this topic is being addressed now on the forum.

Startingover2

Thank you! Great topic. Fits my exah perfectly. Headed to bookstore today.

kermit

Well, after reading all this information, I think I may work for one, a sociopath, maybe, I know she is not all to gether and some days she LOVES me, others I'm not doing a good enough job. She seems to tell stories that just can't possiably be true, and she likes to yell at us if she thinks we have done something wrong, when just 5 min before that is how she said she wanted it done. Now mind you she is a Doctor and is signing my check, but some days are so difficult, sometimes she is happy others just mean, hell we all call in just to see what kind of mood she is in. Could it be? Maybe just bi-polar who knows, I can tell you it makes it very difficult to work there, as long as I don't take it personal I do okay, but it is so very hard at times.

JerseyGirl

I want to get #3 made into a magnet!!

freya

I also happen to believe that all people are equal -- in an absolute, in-the-eyes-of-god sense. But, that doesn't mean that all people are mentally well or that all behavior is equal, or that it is wise -- or even safe -- for me to assume that I can and/or should try to see with the eyes of god.

Personally, I do not feel at all obligated to know for absolute certain if someone whose behavior gives indications of being without conscience is certifiably and absolutely without conscience or has been diagnosed as such by a mental health professional. If someone's behavior around me or or towards me indicates that that person is acting without conscience, then that is all I need to know in order to know that it's time for me to take action to protect myself from that person and his/her behavior....and it seems pretty obvious to me that my failure to do so, far from indicating my belief in the absolute equality of all human beings, would, in fact, only indicate a very low sense of self-worth on my part.


freya

sojourner

Okay, perhaps i'm stating the obvious here, but i have seen these symptoms in all the addicts that i've ever had in my life from childhood on. I cannot really say if these addicts in my life wake up in the middle of the night with remorse about their actions, though. But i've talked to a lot of addicts in recovery who relate they were like that when they were using but not any more....

Does anybody else see this thread this way - or are we only talking about people who are like this and do not use chemicals to get that way....

Lilyflower

I see the OP pointing out the similarities that she noticed whilst reading the text with her own experiences.

The rest is shades of a rainbow - meaning, there will be someone who fits one description, someone who fits another. There is enough of humanity out there for someone to fit any analogy/description. It is open to discussion and for others to draw their comparisons.

I think the whole thing has been an interesting read and can see traits in my exabf as described in the OP.

Blessings

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FormerDoormat

For me it doesn't matter if the behaviors are related to drinking or not. What matters is that the behavior is unacceptable to me and what's the best way to deal with it.