Is this a warning???
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 74
Is this a warning???
ok spoke to my AH on his 5 day sober, we where face to face and just chatting nicely and I was telling him about things on this site, I touched on that someone had been apart from their AH for 8 months and where working on themselves but hadnt split just seeing how it goes, and he got mad and said "well if we arent together in 8 months then we will be getting divorced" I asked why and he said im not waiting roudn for 8 months we have wasted enough time already 
erh you have you mean........to me this doesnt sound very good, its almost like he sees himself getting older and need to correct everything quickly to get back on track but it isnt that easy, to me if he wont wait 8 months us being apart then I dont think it says very much about his commitment to me or himself? what are your fault? and he also said just cause you read it on some poxy webiste doesn tmean it gospel........and said I was being patronising, I wasnt I cant talk to him without him shouting or throwing a hissy fit hes like a flaming child......
advise please? am I on to a lost casue should I just cut my loses and leave him to be....??
erh you have you mean........to me this doesnt sound very good, its almost like he sees himself getting older and need to correct everything quickly to get back on track but it isnt that easy, to me if he wont wait 8 months us being apart then I dont think it says very much about his commitment to me or himself? what are your fault? and he also said just cause you read it on some poxy webiste doesn tmean it gospel........and said I was being patronising, I wasnt I cant talk to him without him shouting or throwing a hissy fit hes like a flaming child......advise please? am I on to a lost casue should I just cut my loses and leave him to be....??
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I love how people are so quick to disrespect this site when they have
never even been here themselves. My ex used to make comments
about it's authenticity and legitamcy.
I think he was just worried that I would get well and he would be history.
Guess what he was right.
Jen only you know what is right for you. Even if he does continue
to recover it is a long hard road ahead. Are you prepared for the
rough terrain ahead?
never even been here themselves. My ex used to make comments
about it's authenticity and legitamcy.
I think he was just worried that I would get well and he would be history.
Guess what he was right.
Jen only you know what is right for you. Even if he does continue
to recover it is a long hard road ahead. Are you prepared for the
rough terrain ahead?
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 74
he also said he would love to have the taste of beer, not for the alcohol for the taste, is that a bad sign? said he was thinking of non alcholic beer, does that sound like a good idea I said I didnt think it was..
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Oh gosh, Jen. 8 months ago, I would have thought we would be divorced by now, too. In fact, when I kicked him out, I told him he had six months to get sober or we were over. That was long before I learned how big a part of the problem I was. We are just taking our time right now because we both realize that we have a lot of stuff to work through. I wouldn't expect him to realize much of anything after only five days. I still think the best thing right now is to let him work on his own recovery and spend the time you have working on yours.
I wish you both the best,
L
I wish you both the best,
L
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
In my heart of hearts I believe this is the right thing, but he and I are both in recovery and I do not want to mess that up.
That is very childish behavior on his part and it demonstrates that the selfish "victim" mindframe is still present and that he has not really changed. He is still an alcoholic and all of the issues that come with it do not just disappear after 5 days. What do YOU want is the question???? If you need time away, take it. Don't let his "threat" of divorce be enough for you to sacrifice your own happiness once again. You should not base your decisions on the fear of the unknown. Can you live with him all on HIS terms???? It sounds as if that is what he wants. Take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 74
Originally Posted by pmaslan
no he is in denial...it is a last ditch attempt to drink...
non alchohlic beer is just a means to an end...
Your man isn't ready I am sorry to say.....
non alchohlic beer is just a means to an end...
Your man isn't ready I am sorry to say.....
isnt ready for what? to be sober? you think not.....
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
Whooops-- really sorry about that Confused! I meant to quote that the following:
Sorry for the confusion...
he also said he would love to have the taste of beer, not for the alcohol for the taste, is that a bad sign? said he was thinking of non alcholic beer, does that sound like a good idea I said I didnt think it was..
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