jen928

ok....well, mothers day was decent. i didnt get to spend it with my mom but i did talk to ger for about an hour. she's doing great.....still sober!!!!!! but she did admit to me that she really wanted a drink on thursday night....BUT that was warrented. i wil explain in a minute. she is starting to get out and meet her new neighbors and last weekend while we were visiting her, we got to take her to the beach. something she hasnt done since she moved to the outer banks in feb.
now about her wanting a drink on thursday and my real reason for writing today.... on thursday evening my dog of seven years attacked me. i have multpile puncture wounds and a large gash on my lefthand (excuse my typos...i can only use my right hand.) anyways, i had to go to the hospital. and i've had to see a hand srgeon twice since, i was told today that i've got nerve damage! kinda sucks but what hurts me more is that i had to put my best friend to sleep. i've been a crying mess all weekend yesterday was better and today i am actually able to talk about charlie (my dog). he was there for all through my mom's alcoholism....he understood even when noone else would...or i was too embarrassed to talk about it. i'm heartbroken. we think that he had cancer and wass in pain...that on top of the move to a new house....he just couldnt handle it. he had two lumps that were visible. they were small....so maybe im just looking for excuses for his behavior.....
anyways.....i didnt reveal this to you guys but i also had a miscarriage the week before my vacation to ireland. so all i can say right now is......even though im thrilled with my mom's soberity (something i thought would never happen) i am exhausted with life and losing my baby dog this weekend was the icing on the cake. i said to myself after the miscarriage....how much can one person take....i had enough then....and then charlie turned on me. its all so sad, i cant even explain it to you. i love my life but at this point looking at my banaged covered hand, i just want to run away as fast as i can and i want to rewind time and get my buddy back. i will never be able to explain how much the loss of charlie has affected me. i feel more alone at this point then i have in a long long time. thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

ASpouse

Be gentle with yourself Jen ..... you've been through a lot! I'm sure Charlie was ill which caused his bizarre behavior. Know you did the right thing by him and he is now in peace and at the Rainbow Bridge waiting for you and watching over you.

I'm sorry about the miscarriage .... I wish I had sufficient words to say, but I don't except be gentle with yourself and allow your mind and body to heal! Take care.

equus

I agree with Judy - your dog was ill and is now no longer in pain. All those years he stood by you are what counts remembering him, not an animals response to pain he didn't understand and stress.

You are such a lovely person, you have so absolutely deserved this time you've spent with your Mum sober, you've been so caring.

I hope your wounds heal better than expected (it often happens) and you arrive as soon as you can to the place where remembering your dog is a feeling of happiness at having shared his life. I hope you get more time with your Mum too, each day is so precious and of absolute worth in the moment.

Take care of yourself - I wish I could wish you better.

Jazzman

Woah... what a plate load!
I'm going to say the first thing that comes to mind...
Great news about your Mom sticking to her program!!!

cwohio

((jen)) i am so sorry to hear of your 2 losses. i can relate to losing a fur buddy - they are there for us when no one else is sometimes. please know i will keep you in my prayers and will also pray for your mom's continued recovery.

Pick-a-name

Jen---I am so sorry: both things are so very difficult. I have been nipped by my (sick) dog, but how terrible to be attacked and THEN have to put him down (BTDT). What a void.

I also miscarried,actually twice (withing a short time).........it was devasting for me,especially the first time since I was in maternity clothes and had felt life. People really can repsond in some odd (and hurtful ways). Your poor body and emotions must be a mess. Please be gentle and kind to yourself.........sending you a BIG hug!

ICU

(((Jen))),

You've been through so much lately. I am so sorry for both of your losses. As others said, be very gentle with yourself during this painful time. And don't lose faith that brighter days are ahead.

denny57

(((jen)))

You sure have been through a lot. I'm glad to hear your mom is doing well, but am so sorry to hear of your losses. Take good care of yourself.

jen928

thank you all for your support. today is my first day back at work. hard spending your entire day in front of a computer with only 1 hand 2 work with. and having every1 coming up 2 u asking how u are and what happened....especially when u just want 2 forget.

cwohio

tell them you would rather not talk about it right now. i'm sure they'll understand. ((jen))

FormerDoormat

Sorry you got hurt, Jen. What were the circumstances that led up to the bite? That will likely reveal the true reason for the attack and it can help you avoid a similar incident with any future dogs.

Did the authorities seize the dog and euthanize him or was that your choice?

jen928

charlie had been acting funny for a few weeks. he had been growling at my boyfriend and had been lethargic. well, last thursday, when i got home, he had torn up the 1/2 bath. meaning he had chewed the frame, door and the trash can. he hasn't done anything like this since he was a puppy. when i got home, i saw the destruction and mess. i took him upstairs and had him sit in front of his messes. then i told him no. i punished him the same way i always have, no yelling or hitting, just pointing out what he did wrong. he didn't like it. he turned growled and attacked my hand. he had my entire left hand in his mouth.
no authorities did not take him. i made the decision on my own. i figured i wouldn't be able to trust him again. if he was able to turn on me, his master for the past 6.5 years....who else would he turn on. i was devastated by the entire situation and i don't think i'll ever get over it.
i attached a pic of the two of us, taken two years ago.....and no, he isn't a pit bull....he's old southern white bulldog and lab mix.

reader

Oh Jen, I am so sorry for the loss of your pregnancy and having to put your beloved dog down. You did the right thing, I agree he could never be trusted again. Just know that someone just said a prayer for u and your losses. keep your chin up! I hope your hand will heal quickly!!

mallowcup

I think we grossly underestimate the love we get from our pets. They could be angels or gifts from God. I love my dogs, they love me. The big one is getting crabby by the end of the day as he gets older. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I am happy your friend is not suffering. I am sorry you got hurt. Your dog loved you. He was just sick.