lizzy girl

Has anyone had a sudden onset of anxiety triggered by finally asking for help?
One day after AH had a bad binge, out of desparation I went to see an Alcohol Counselor. I walked in the door and said "we need help"
It was the first time I admitted the problem to anyone. From that day on, 3 months ago, I have have been plagued with continous anxiety symptoms. I have been tried on 2 medications, one an antidepressant which I stopped after a short amount of time as I hated the way it made me feel. And then Xanax, which after 5 weeks started giving me negative side affects and I was becoming physically addicted. I just stopped the Xanax last week after going throw some minor withdrawal. But now the anxiety is back in full force. I really hate to take medications of any kind but my counselor says I probably need them in conjunction with talk therapy.

My husband is sober right now (5 weeks) and he is doing great, although he wont get any outside help (I can do it myself attitude) Thats another issue.
I'm falling apart--what's wrong with this picture?

It's so hard to focus on taking care of myself, dealing with co-dependency, and trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life when I'm wacked out on medications. I can't believe how suddenly these symptoms appeared, like I opened a floodgate. Sometimes I just want to go back to when I felt strong and sure throw it at me I can deal with it attitude when he was drinking.

Feeling Frazzled and very tired!

sunshine003

You need to step back and try so very hard to calm down. If you don't like the medications, stop taking them. There are wonderful tools you can learn in place of those.

For one, stop looking at the big picture. It's one day at a time remember? You can't worry about your ah's recovery, just your own. Taking his on along with yours is overwhelming to all of us. It belongs to him, however he decides to do it. Just as yours belongs to you.

Some of the tools I learned was for one, when I was starting to feel anxious, when I was beginning to worry about something, I had to concentrate on what I was doing. Physicall doing.....the easiest way to do this was ask myself, "am I breathing out of my mouth or my nose? Are my shoulders up or down?" I'd find they were up cuz I was tense, I'd relax and get them down. I'd pay attention to how I was breathing and say, "Oh, I'm breathing out my nose, in out, in out...." I'd let the worry or what was comsuming my mind pass like a cloud in the sky....I'd visualize the thoughts as clouds. I had to let the thought pass and not "cling onto it". You can't pull it into your mind but let it pass the way a cloud in the sky would. Then refocus my attention to the task at hand. Be it, playing a game with my kids, washing dishes, whatever.

Hope that helps. With some practice it becomes second nature.

GettingBy

That's a pretty good description of it. I remember when I first said the words, "My husband has a drinking problem, and my life has become totally unmanageable." I did it.. I faced the truth... and then all of sudden it hit me. My life really was unmanageable. My "$hit" was hitting the fan and flying all over the place. I was overwhelmed and full of panic. So many questions and no answers and no matter how many people I pestered no one would tell me the "right thing" to do.

Shortly after my big "revelation", I was driving home from work one day and thought to myself, "What the hell am I doing? Why don't I just drive my truck into a telephone and end this all right now!" And the sad part... was that I meant it. At that moment, I really wanted to die. I had too much $hit on my plate and I didn't want ANY of it anymore.

I pulled over on the side of the road and just cried... and cried...and cried. I hated my life and who I had become. It's hard to even think about that now. To remember how desperate I felt. How hopeless everything seemed. I was *this* close to robbing myself of all that life had waiting for me (which now includes a wonderful baby who's due in 2 short months).

When those feelings arise (and they STILL do from time to time!), I have to remind myself of a few things...
"How important is it?" - is what's stressing me out really worth it? Is it something that can wait? Can I take a 10-minute "me" break and come back to it?
"First things First" - This goes along with "How important is it?" Put the important things first... taking care of me ALWAYS comes first. If I'm hungry, go eat. If I'm tired, take a nap. If I'm lonely, call a friend/family member. After I'm good and happy, then I can go back and deal with whatever needs my attention.

I used to pride myself on being the world's best multi-tasker... but in reality, I can only (effectively!!) handle one thing at a time. Not everything HAS to be done right now. Lots of things can wait; however, my happiness/health/sanity can't. Not anymore.

Thoughts are with you,
Shannon

Cindi R

****{Lizzy}}}
Are you able to go to a support group like alanon/naranon?
Your world has been turned upside down and it will take some time for things to get better...
I'd on the one hand say that there is no "magic pill" to make this all go away...but at the same time, remind you that you should be working with your Dr and realize that antidepressants take like 4 weeks to have a noticable effect.
Learn everything you can about alcoholism/addiction...educate yourself.
But realize that there is part of this that you have no control over...
other than sharing with people and talking/posting/therapy/support groups can be very helpful.
Keep comming back!

pmaslan

everytime my ex stopped drinking....you know this is it, finally gonna do it....
I got anxious too.....Huge anxiety attacks....
In my case it was me just waiting for the other shoe to drop....
Anxiety didn't last long cause he never managed to stay sober for too long.
The month I joined this site was the worst he actually had 30 sobriety,
I thought I was going to jump out of my skin that month.
Then, I found Alanon.......