Got my answer and I don't like it.

Old 05-05-2006, 02:00 PM
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I really need to let go and have faith right now. And you're right, I need to take a break from what is spinning me. I feel very weak and decided that I really need to get back to God and look to Him and trust in His guidance. I was raised catholic and have let my religion slip since I was 18, now 30 I am realizing how much I need it. I need it so much now. I will go to my Al-Anon meeting Monday night and I will continue to go because I know I need to so that I can start to feel stong again.
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Old 05-05-2006, 04:04 PM
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Yes, take a break from it all deettah, if you can

for what it's worth - i have a pretty good relationship with my mom, but i don't discuss my marriage with her. period.
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Old 05-05-2006, 04:27 PM
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Why is it that I feel like the only people that understand any of this are on this forum. I try to talk to my best friend, who BTW grew up in an alcoholic home, and she doesn't seem to understand, now my mother. It is so frustrating that the people I want to lean on I don't feel like I can.
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Old 05-05-2006, 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by deettah
Why is it that I feel like the only people that understand any of this are on this forum. I try to talk to my best friend, who BTW grew up in an alcoholic home, and she doesn't seem to understand, now my mother. It is so frustrating that the people I want to lean on I don't feel like I can.
I know what you mean. When I got serious about my recovery, I quickly learned to stop wanting other people to be there for me in ways they could not. Your best friend has her own issues probably. Your mom - well, she's your mom. Seek out those who will help you get where you want to be (and that doesn't always mean agree with you all the time). You need people around you who understand what you're going through. Everyone else in your life can still be important, but don't waste too much time trying to get them to "understand." Work on yourself.
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Old 05-05-2006, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by denny57
Yes, take a break from it all deettah, if you can

for what it's worth - i have a pretty good relationship with my mom, but i don't discuss my marriage with her. period.

Same here (when she was still alive). In fact, my mother was the one who taought me this....she said she has seen people complain about their spouse and the "inlaw" hears the bad stuff and not the "good" stuff.....work it out between yourselves and you don't have all that "baggage".

If it was my mother, I would thank her for her love and support of me, but that what happens in my marriage is only between me and my husband. period.

Good idea about unplugging phone, etc.......I have gotten away for a few hours the past few days.....just outside taking a walk, buying a cup of coffee and drinking it outside somewhere.........it has been nice; the drama-factor can really drop if you can do that. I even walk around the block or wonder around a store.
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Old 05-05-2006, 05:26 PM
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Hey Deettah. A big hug to you. I'll tell you what- my mom at this point is essentially acting the same way about my own situation. In fact, I had somewhat of an argument w/her the other day on the phone when she called me in the middle of my work day (uuuugggg) to find out "the exact date I was filing for divorce." I KNOW how exhausting all that can be. I finally called her today and apologized for the whole thing and just let her know the facts and asked her not to question my rationale or get involved any further b/c I know what is best for me. Denny is right, no one will quite "understand" unless they too have been EXACTLY where you are.

Take everyone's advice and just disconnect from EVERYONE for a few days. You need time, space and quiet to sort through everything. It is in your best interest and you will feel so much better. I'm thinking of you and praying for you woman! Put yourself and your child first always.
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