stilltrying

I spent the day in my yard and in my garage trying to get things done. I went to the grocery to grab some lawn bags and had the opportunity to see almost ex-AH with his affair woman from AA playing house in my old front yard. Taking care of the flowers and plant that I PLANTED....I know that I did the right thing to leave, however.....I feel very angry and hurt tonight!!! My kids took a walk and got to see the new fling....I am bitter....any ESH would be appreciated!

Brammy

(((stilltrying))) I know how hard this sitution can be when you have put everything into a relationship. To see them move on as if you were an afterthought. Just remember WHY he is your almost ex AH. I think that may soothe your anger somewhat

stilltrying

Thanks....My mind gets it, however, my heart still hearts....and I don't know why. I know that I am doing the right thing....I just feel as you said an "afterthougt" and I spend SO many years supporting him and his drinking. He decided after he got sober to find someone else in AA that could understand him better.....I am just beside myself tonight!

robina

I'm sorry for your pain and frustration. Right now, things look very dark, but as you heal you will begin to feel better.

MNGirlyGirl

((Stilltrying)) I can only imagine the hurt to invest so much in a person and stand by him only for him to leave once he is "better". Remember, the best "revenge" is for you to live a happy life and move forward. There is life after divorce -- I know you can't imagine that now, but it will be good again.

FormerDoormat

Perhaps you need to view the situation from a different perspective. The other woman didn't rob you of your husband and your previous home. You chose to leave your old life behind because it wasn't working for you. Chances are very good it won't work for the new woman either.

The view from the street may have looked like a scene from a Norman Rockwell painting but that was just an illusion. On closer inspection it's was just a tattered picture of two broken people hoping to make something whole.

Do you have to drive past his house to get to the store, or can you take another route?

BayouSelf

Thanks stilltrying for reminding me that I am not the only one going through this. It does hurt. It hurts a lot. My soon to be ex AH also decided to move on with another female in his AA group because she "understands him better". That is such BS! I believe that our husbands have decided to move on with another person, because they are still in such denial. WE, the wives, remind them of their old self, and all of the terrible things they did when they were with us and the guilt they feel everytime they look at us. When they see us, they are immediately brought back into reality and they don't like reality. They, however, have chosen to move on with a person who has done the same horrible things that they have. That way, they don't have to feel so bad about themselves. With these new women in their lives, they can start fresh, but you know and I know that it will never work out, and that they are still very sick, just no longer drinking. I believe they'll be begging us to take them back eventually and we will have to use this time to get strong so that when they do come back beggin, we can kick em to the curb again, so they can go and find another doormat.

denny57

((stilltrying))

I know how painful it must be. How about looking at it this way. Suppose you had left your AH while he was drinking for someone you met in Al-Anon (don't know if you go) because they "understood" you better. Pretty soon reality would set in because Al-Anon would not be all you have in common. I don't think there is a magic bullet to take away the pain, but alternate thinking can help.

A quote I like: If another woman steals your man, your best revenge is to let her keep him.

Hang in there - good things are waiting for you.

trishsis

I think that if that happened to me (which it did) the way I approached it was that I thought of all the low down, lousy, miserable things etc that he did to me and now its her turn Lets see how she likes it This is just my sense of humor, very similar to my sis Miracle There is a reason that you are not together any longer and no matter what it is hang in there and consider yourself the lucky one. Don't know the story but I could tell you tales of my ex that would have you lol for a long time if you ever need a good chuckle and I am at the computer I will be happy to share the "LOVE STORY" of my own.haha well, all the best and remember it could be worse, Love, Nan

Zoey

I would love to hear your story Nan, you have made me curious, how about you doing it on a new thread if you have time and don't mind shareing.

dax

I know how you are hurting and my heart goes out to you. Remember that your jerk of an alcoholic in recovery is extremely selfish as his his AA ho. My counselor says this happens a lot,. She is in AA and will not even go to the closed Post Oak club here because of all the unacceptabe things that she has seen go on there. And you know what is so sick??? they can't understand why you just can't just " turn over' their horrid behavior and move on. I recommend www. survivinginfidelity.com
People in AA will cover for cheaters because they wouldm't dare interfer with anyone's program- no matter how immoral it is. AA is the best thing to get someone sober but unfortunately is also a fertile field for infidelity. dax