Life defining moments/events
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Life defining moments/events
Looking back on my life, I have realized that there are certain events that shaped who I am today. For better or for worse, these events have affected me and made me who I am.
The first one came at the age of twelve. My alcoholic/gambler father committed suicide. I remember feeling intense anger and rage. How could he do this to me? I needed him. I did not know how destructive and selfish his lifestyle was. I only knew that I needed a dad, and he had let me down.
The next one came in 1989, I was 27 years old and already married, but with no children. I was living in San Francisco when the Loma Prieta earthquake struck. The city I had come to depend on, and made my home, was in crisis. I remember seeing the city I had lived in for years in an eerie state of darkness. The only light in the night was the fire in the Marina District. I walked around my haunts for several days taking inventory of the destruction. I remember thinking that it would never be the same. I also felt that I was a survivor, because I had made it through alive.
On the morning of 9/11/2001, I got up and got ready for work. I was never the type to turn on the TV in the morning. I showered and dressed and got in my car. When I turned on the radio for the drive to work, I heard the voice of Peter Jennings instead of the usual local news guy. My H had been on a binge the night before and the first thing I did was call home on my cell phone and tell him to turn on the TV. I felt uneasy about going to work in a government building that day and left early. I remember my son, only 4 years old at the time, trying to understand the events of the day. He did not understand evil. He wanted to defend the terrorists, saying things like “maybe they just got confused and hit the buildings, they couldn’t have meant to kill all those people.” I remember wanting to be as innocent as he was.
Each of these events, and others that are less significant, made me who I am today. I have come to be who I am because of the experiences I have had. What have you experienced that made you who you are?
The first one came at the age of twelve. My alcoholic/gambler father committed suicide. I remember feeling intense anger and rage. How could he do this to me? I needed him. I did not know how destructive and selfish his lifestyle was. I only knew that I needed a dad, and he had let me down.
The next one came in 1989, I was 27 years old and already married, but with no children. I was living in San Francisco when the Loma Prieta earthquake struck. The city I had come to depend on, and made my home, was in crisis. I remember seeing the city I had lived in for years in an eerie state of darkness. The only light in the night was the fire in the Marina District. I walked around my haunts for several days taking inventory of the destruction. I remember thinking that it would never be the same. I also felt that I was a survivor, because I had made it through alive.
On the morning of 9/11/2001, I got up and got ready for work. I was never the type to turn on the TV in the morning. I showered and dressed and got in my car. When I turned on the radio for the drive to work, I heard the voice of Peter Jennings instead of the usual local news guy. My H had been on a binge the night before and the first thing I did was call home on my cell phone and tell him to turn on the TV. I felt uneasy about going to work in a government building that day and left early. I remember my son, only 4 years old at the time, trying to understand the events of the day. He did not understand evil. He wanted to defend the terrorists, saying things like “maybe they just got confused and hit the buildings, they couldn’t have meant to kill all those people.” I remember wanting to be as innocent as he was.
Each of these events, and others that are less significant, made me who I am today. I have come to be who I am because of the experiences I have had. What have you experienced that made you who you are?
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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I was working in Washington, D.C....
.... and I was standing on the 11th floor balcony of my union's building. Everyone already knew about the jets flying into the World Trade Center towers by the time I arrived at the office shortly before 9 a.m. We heard the next spot a jet would crash could be the White House or the Capitol. I worked three blocks west of the Capitol. At 10 a.m. we were all told to evacuate the building. Prior to that, at approximately 9:40 a.m., I had gone outside on the building to have a smoke. I didn't see the plane hit the Pentagon, I only head the explosion, saw the fireball in the sky, and people running around like ants all over the Mall (the area between the Washington Monument and Capitol).
I won't get into the crazy way I got out of the city with two girls from the office riding with me .... a pivotal moment in my life. I got to see some of the destruction from a distance, but it doesn't make me special. I just happened to be in a certain place at a certain time ... It wasn't scary - it was surreal and just plain weird to see people running around like ants on an anthill with their cell phones plastered to their ears ....
I won't get into the crazy way I got out of the city with two girls from the office riding with me .... a pivotal moment in my life. I got to see some of the destruction from a distance, but it doesn't make me special. I just happened to be in a certain place at a certain time ... It wasn't scary - it was surreal and just plain weird to see people running around like ants on an anthill with their cell phones plastered to their ears ....
How Important Is It?
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cyberia
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A couple of years ago there was a freak storm where I live that knocked out power over a massive area for two full days. You couldn't even get gas for hundreds of kilometers (miles) - the gas stations depend on power to run their pumps.
It was a major wake up call for me. While others gathered together with friends and family members, I spent the entire time completely isolated in my cold, dark apartment, and feeling so alone in the world. A few months later I joined Al-anon, and after working my program, I started gaining friends and getting a social life. I consider that storm a pivotal moment. It showed me that I needed to change my priorities and I needed to get out and be with people more.
I am learning that God can bring healing to any hurt.
It was a major wake up call for me. While others gathered together with friends and family members, I spent the entire time completely isolated in my cold, dark apartment, and feeling so alone in the world. A few months later I joined Al-anon, and after working my program, I started gaining friends and getting a social life. I consider that storm a pivotal moment. It showed me that I needed to change my priorities and I needed to get out and be with people more.
I am learning that God can bring healing to any hurt.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
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my husband's death last september was my wake-up call that life is too short to continue to be stunted in my recovery growth. i want to live life, not drift thru each day.i am determined to grow each day and enjoy all that comes with it.
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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My Father bought a boat when I was very young. The family spent every weekend at the boat, (about an hour drive from home on the Chesapeake Bay). All weekend long the adults would drink themselves stupid and have affairs, my parents were no exception. Once I rode home w/ my Father and he was too drunk to drive and falling asleep at the wheel. That was one scary as hell ride home for 50 minutes feeling like my life was in the hands of a person not at all capable of taking that responsibility seriously.
Ever since I can't stand to be around out of control people, drunks and infidelity. I do drink but you will never see me drunk... ever!
Ever since I can't stand to be around out of control people, drunks and infidelity. I do drink but you will never see me drunk... ever!
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
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This may not exactly be what you are talking about - but a big moment in my life came awhile back.
My biggest fear in this life was that someday I'd grow old and be a bitter unhappy woman like my Grandma was. I loved my Grandma, don't get me wrong, but I did not want to be like her. I'd shared this fear with ah and a few people through the years. My Grandfather had been an alcoholic for many years and I was so afraid that I'd end up like her someday.
One day, it was some time after ah had moved out and I was really trying hard to work on my recovery - the moment arrived that I finally realized just why my Grandma was the way that she was. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to reach out and give her a hug and tell her "I understand". Unfortunately, however, my Grandma passed away about 6 years ago so I was unable to do that for her. But I believe in that moment of understanding - though I can't recall what actually happened that I finally "got it" - I saw my Grandma in a whole new light and connected with her on a level that no one else ever did. I finally understood her insecurities, her broken spirit, her depressed moods, and her bitterness.
That moment helped me define a lot of things - including myself. It was the beginning of understanding HER. It was also the beginning of my realizing how that vicious cycle of my Grandparents (Both grandfather's) alcoholism had continued it's trickle affect down through the family for generations. I saw that I was indeed on my way to becoming exactly what I did not want to be.
And by coming to SR and working on my own recovery - I know that I hold the key to not allowing my biggest fear to come true.
Thank you for having posted this topic as it reminded me of that moment concerning my Grandma. Which reminded me too, that I hold the key to not allowing that fear to come true.
My biggest fear in this life was that someday I'd grow old and be a bitter unhappy woman like my Grandma was. I loved my Grandma, don't get me wrong, but I did not want to be like her. I'd shared this fear with ah and a few people through the years. My Grandfather had been an alcoholic for many years and I was so afraid that I'd end up like her someday.
One day, it was some time after ah had moved out and I was really trying hard to work on my recovery - the moment arrived that I finally realized just why my Grandma was the way that she was. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to reach out and give her a hug and tell her "I understand". Unfortunately, however, my Grandma passed away about 6 years ago so I was unable to do that for her. But I believe in that moment of understanding - though I can't recall what actually happened that I finally "got it" - I saw my Grandma in a whole new light and connected with her on a level that no one else ever did. I finally understood her insecurities, her broken spirit, her depressed moods, and her bitterness.
That moment helped me define a lot of things - including myself. It was the beginning of understanding HER. It was also the beginning of my realizing how that vicious cycle of my Grandparents (Both grandfather's) alcoholism had continued it's trickle affect down through the family for generations. I saw that I was indeed on my way to becoming exactly what I did not want to be.
And by coming to SR and working on my own recovery - I know that I hold the key to not allowing my biggest fear to come true.
Thank you for having posted this topic as it reminded me of that moment concerning my Grandma. Which reminded me too, that I hold the key to not allowing that fear to come true.
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