Just wanted to share.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
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Just wanted to share.
I read this some time back and it's been stuck in my head, so I wanted to share it with you.
This is taken from the book "Women who love too much When you keep hoping and wishing he'll change" by Robin Norwood
The above is in the preface of the book and it grabbed my attention and has been floating about in my head ever since I read it. I think that many of us here at SR can probably relate. We've either been there, done that, or are doing it now. And I thought that it summed up quite simply the way that it is - the signs of loving too much. Especially this sentence: When being in love means being in pain we are loving too much.
I know that for me, sometimes I need things to come at me pretty blunt and to the point (even when they hurt). Sometimes we question so much "Is he really an alcoholic?" "Am I not good enough that he treats me this way?" that we truly become confused and unsure of our own thoughts and feelings. The many questions are endless.
So anyways, I just thought I'd share above as I thought it may help someone else out there as well.
And the last sentence of that preface in the book says:
I thought that summed up the choice of recovery well also.
This is taken from the book "Women who love too much When you keep hoping and wishing he'll change" by Robin Norwood
When being in love means being in pain we are loving too much. When most of our conversations with intimate friends are about him, his problems, his thoughts, his feelings - and nearly all our sentences begin with "he.....", we are loving too much.
When we excuse his moodiness, bad temper, indifference or put-downs as problems due to an unhappy childhood and we try to become his therapist, we are loving too much.
When we read a self-help book and underline all the messages we think would help him, we are loving too much.
When we don't like many of his basic characteristics, values, and behaviors, but we put up with them thinking that if we are only attractive and loving enough he'll want to change for us, we are loving too much.
When our relationship jeopardizes our emotional well-being and perhaps even our physical health and safety, we are definately loving too much.
When we excuse his moodiness, bad temper, indifference or put-downs as problems due to an unhappy childhood and we try to become his therapist, we are loving too much.
When we read a self-help book and underline all the messages we think would help him, we are loving too much.
When we don't like many of his basic characteristics, values, and behaviors, but we put up with them thinking that if we are only attractive and loving enough he'll want to change for us, we are loving too much.
When our relationship jeopardizes our emotional well-being and perhaps even our physical health and safety, we are definately loving too much.
I know that for me, sometimes I need things to come at me pretty blunt and to the point (even when they hurt). Sometimes we question so much "Is he really an alcoholic?" "Am I not good enough that he treats me this way?" that we truly become confused and unsure of our own thoughts and feelings. The many questions are endless.
So anyways, I just thought I'd share above as I thought it may help someone else out there as well.
And the last sentence of that preface in the book says:
If you choose to begin the process of recovery, you will change from a woman who loves someone else so much it hurts into a woman who loves herself enough to stop the pain.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Yes, I have this book also!
Its pretty good I agree!
These are things I used to do alot. I think alot of women do these things actually, even those whom are not involved with an alcoholic.
Thanks for sharing that SS!
Its pretty good I agree!
When we excuse his moodiness, bad temper, indifference or put-downs as problems due to an unhappy childhood and we try to become his therapist, we are loving too much.
When we read a self-help book and underline all the messages we think would help him, we are loving too much.
When we read a self-help book and underline all the messages we think would help him, we are loving too much.
Thanks for sharing that SS!
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