TomsGirl

that my husband is drinking. Ugh! I hope it's wrong but it's always been pretty right in the past. Oh well ... if so I guess it's just a matter of time before he's returned to his "buddies" at the county jail. He hated that joint but if he is drinking I guess the booze is making him forget just how much he hated it. Good thing is, they do the test right after he makes his "deposit" so they take him away from the Sheriff's office and not from my home. I've given my neighbors enough free entertainment as it is! Geez, I sure do hope I'm wrong.

Happy Easter!!!! :bun5

limbo

been there............hope you are wrong too

ilovebdj

I hate that feeling. You don't want to nag if he's "working" on his sobriety, but then there's that feeling. It's a little thing called instinct. Don't you love it?

I hope he's not too.....good luck.

ASpouse

TomsGirl .... I hope you are wrong also, but enough worrying about his consequences, keep doing what you are doing for you. As hard as it is, I know, LET IT GO! If he is, he'll know the consequences soon enough.

hugs ........

TomsGirl

Thanks everyone. Actually, I'm not thinking about his consequences. When the nagging feeling hits I just keep repeating to myself "It's not you who'll lose their freedom and end up back in jail". After saying that a few times too myself I get past the feeling and I move on. Oh well, time will tell as it always does and I have no intention of wasting good brain cells over it unless I'm forced too. Thanks again!

BigSis

Sounds like you are in a good place, TG. Sharing that strength helps lots of others here (and not just the newbies). Letting go of the idea that by some "magical thinking" I could keep my kids sober was one of the hardest things for me....which I found wierd and upsetting.

But what got it better for me was just practicing ... and that took relapses and suspected relapses on the part of the addicts I loved. Each time they did (or I thought they did), I got to practice that skill of "letting go". It's a toughie.

Hope your instinct is wrong this time (as mine was, after a while... smile).

StandingStrong

You realize that if you're right, the consequences of that will be on him - losing his freedom.
Just don't forget that you will need to stay focused on you and know what you will do when and if that happens.

It's a positive that you are not focusing all your thoughts on his possible actions/consequences. But I also know how hard it is to distinguish between that gut instinct and that paranoid thinking we all have. When you've traveled the road to it so many times, it's really not surprising that we still have that self doubt, etc.

Keep being strong!

TomsGirl

Well, he went to his program yesterday. It was Community Service day. He passed the pee-test so I guess all is ok. I will admit he did have the flu over the long weekend with a terrible cold to go with it so he could have just acted "foggy" because he was sick. Yes, that was what raised my red flag. He was acting like he'd been drinking. Plus he's beyond the 3-month period so perhaps sometimes he's showing symptoms of PAWS? Anyway, he's still here with me. But now the big test comes. Tomorrow or Friday they will be removing his bracelet and there won't be anymore movement restrictions nor will he be guaranteed a pee-test 4-times a week. Just when they call his color. So I guess the real test of his sobriety is about to begin. Geez, my HP has been there for me so many times, please don't fail me now!!!

megamysterioso

Your HP will be right there with you Tomsgirl and I hope all goes well.

FormerDoormat

TG:

What is PAWS? Hope your husband continues to work on his recovery. No use in worrying on whether he's drinking today or whether he will drink tomorrow. Better to enjoy his sobriety day by day, otherwise you'll spend more time worrying about what could happen than enjoying the moment.

TomsGirl

PAWS = Post Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome .. I think. And yes FD, I or should I say we are enjoying his sobriety. It will be nice once he's off the bracelet so we can do things together outside the house. Plus, I noticed today that his face was filling out. Not so drawn and sunken anymore.

FormerDoormat

I will keep you both in my prayers as you continue on your journeys towards recovery.

TomsGirl

Thank you FD, one can never get too many prayers. Thanks to everyone!