Time4ADecision

I have given up.
I left my AH 10 months ago, after 36 years of marriage. He relapsed 1 + years ago, after being sober 13 years - of which I now question. He is 56 and I'm 53. He continues to drink, our granddaughter was diagnosed with cancer in 11-2004 and under goes chemo every 3 weeks - AH & grandfather still did not wake up and want to support the family. He won't talk about his drinking, us or our granddaughter. As long as we shut up and he does not have to answer anything regarding his drinking and he thinks things are cool. WELL TO YOU MY AH & GRANDFATHER TO OUR GRANDDAUGHTERS KEEP YOUR LIFE, 10 MONTHS IS ENOUGH FOR ME - BYE BYE.

Well I've tried to keep the wolves off my front porch since we separated, I wanted my AH to sober up and go to AA, which to him is out of the question. I have decided to start dating again, go out, have some fun, be with people before they quit asking. I will go for that divorce - which I don't want, but I will not live like this anymore.

I made this decision for my own mental health, physical health and well being. Which I see now is far more important than fighting to save something that is gone forever.

To all who are going through the alcholism rollercoaster please open your eyes and wake up. It will continue over & over, It will come out of the closet again some years down the road if both don't attend, believe in & support AA & Alanon.

Thanks for letting me vent

doubletime

Thank you for venting, sometimes it helps us that "are on the fence with our AH's"

Keep venting!!!!!!


Doubletime

aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

Whew....this was certainly and eye opener for me. Im the one thats the alcoholic in my marriage of 24 yrs. Gees, i would love to know what happened to ur husband and why he went out like he did. i know at 15 yrs sober, im only one drink away froma drunk. It doesnt matter how many years sober one has, all i know is that I have today. Just for today. That's it. My sobriety is contingent on my how i am feeling. Spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally. I know i need daily maintanence on all those areas in order to have some sort of happy life. I feel for u because my husband could be close to saying goodbye to me. I dont think either one of us wants that, but when neither of us understands each other then theres little hope. That is why they have al-anon for those living with an Alcoholic. They learn how to dettach themselves , even from loved one in order to take care of themselves. Then theres us....ur husband and myself who r alcoholics. Yet today i chose not to drink. Things may get tough around here with little to no communication, but any day like this is much better than all those drunk days i had. I hope and pray i never ever go back there....but there r no guarantees in life. Something must have happened to make him go back out. Sometimes i wonder if because i havent addressed all my passed issues that maybe keeping me from recieving all the glories of a sober life. I am however willing to change what ever it takes with help and guidance from Above. Anyway....im sorry to hear what u r going thru. I feel sad for both our situation, but for mine its hard to go forward when theres only one working some kind of a program and the other doesnt need one. He's not the sick one in the family, so he says. We all need some kind of help. Would ur husband be willing to come here to share his own experiences of what happened to him? It would certainly let me know what i can do to help myself and my marriage from going down the tubes. Would love to hear some feed back.

Love and care.

Thanks for letting me share.

megamysterioso

And I think it was an excellent decision and I am very, very happy for you. It's not too late for you to have a fulfilling and peaceful life.


I believe this whoeheartedly and thank you for saying it so clearly and honestly.

All the best to you and your granddaugher.