Girlfriend

I was thinkin' about ya'all and wanted to stop by and say "hi" and also to let you know I'm still alive and kickin'

I've been healing all this time. I just totally did not have any energy left after the new year. Losing 3 people in Dec. to deaths and my last encounter with xabf (wow....that feels weird to type that...xabf. It's been so long since I've even talked to him) and my job coming to the end of the season in Jan.

I've gotten a personal trainer and work out alot. I haven't felt like going out...not even with friends, but that's ok. Cuz I know what I'm going through. It's kinda like Judy (read your post, Judy!! Hang in there.....a "funk" period. And, having some of those in the past, I know that I just gotta ride it out. Have faith and hold onto it. And, NOT go looking for someone to take care of my needs. I need to do that.

I'm fearing the future, I'm single and 46. Don't have a fulltime career. Have savings that I've been investing and growing and living off of for now.
I still see my therapist, not as often. I've been to therapy so much that really at this point, I'd be paying somebody to talk to. I know the drill, ....so, I do what I can.

Friends ask me to go out and sometimes I'll say "yes" and go. Most times, I'll say "no" and not feel guilty. I know this is temporary and I will get back up on my feet.

It's during these times that I get closer to God. And realize that He's my Rock. He'll always be there for me no matter what. People can come and go, but He remains the same. That gives me peace right now. I'm growing through the pain, I just can't see it all quite yet.

No, I haven't talked to xabf. Not since he just blew me off after sticking by him for over 1.5 years and helping encourage him to get sober. He's still (for all I know) in rehab at The Farm. Will be until Sept. Not a word from him since "I have nothing to say to you anymore" right after Christmas.

There was no closure there. No reason why.......nothing. But,that's him. That's not me.

So, I put one foot in front of the other and keep going/looking forward. That's about all we can all do.

I MISS YOU GUYS AND LOVE YA BUNCHES!!

((hugs))

greenapplecider

hello! i am new here but hope you are well!

Zoey

Girlfriend....I have really missed you. Glad you stopped in, do it again.
It will all get better slowly.
LOVE YA HUGS

cwohio

hey GF - stop by more often! glad you are getting thru your funk. i too am working out with a trainer and it feels great. we miss you around here!

Girlfriend

Thanks, guys!!!

It's one step at a time, for sure. I thought at first, "can you die from a broken heart?" cuz I kept feeling like a huge part of me was gone. (with all the losses)

I'm just trying to get me back and it's a process, but I'm still plugging in.


((hugs)) I MISS YOU, TOO!

pmaslan

Good to see you back. I havee been thinking about you lately.
I understand how you feel about the no closure thing.
Sucks doesn't it.
You sound like you are focused and doing positive things for yourself.
Hey, don't be such a stranger by staying away so long....

gelfling

(((((girlfriend))))))) glad to know you're well and thriving.

Blessings

luvmyfurbabies

Hey Girlfriend!!! Like you, I haven't been on much lately. Been lurking but not posting. I have also been trying to work on my recovery. Interesting stuff I've been learning about myself.

Girlfriend

It's "character building" cuz what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger and I'm really proud of all of us becuz we could so easily choose to run from the pain of growth with drugs, booze (like I did in my 20's), being a workaholic, shopaholic, or go run to the next relationship....etc.......but, instead we choose to ride it out and feel the pain......go with it and not fight it, like Judy said.

We're all gonna be okay. I thank God for you all!

((hugs))