Does the anger ever go away
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 175
Does the anger ever go away
This may seem horrible but I really wanted my ex to go to jail. He had court yesterday for his 2nd DUI (what's on paper now) really he has had 4 or 5, evading and eluding, 125 mph, and assulting an officer. He called me to tell me after court. See it's not as bad as you always think it is. I'm free - it got continued until May.
I have a bondsman friend - they called to check the the true story for me because he never tells me the whole story. They found enough evidence to try him for all charges and try him in a higher court. That's why it's been postponed until May.
He came over to my house on Saturday to pick up the kids. He came in and assulted a guy friend of mine that was there. He did all of this in front of my children. My daughter was so scared she was trembling. I asked him what the hell was he doing - he said your friend started it. My 6 year old daughter said - Mommy - Daddy is lying, daddy started it. I made him leave without the kids. He had been drinking or the smell was left over from the night before.
He really makes me sick. I'm so angry at him for being like this and angery at myself for loving this person - who he has become.
I really wanted him to go to jail so once and for all he was out of our lives and I could start putting structure back into mine and the kids life. Maybe it took me getting to this point to realize in my head and heart that we are over. I don't like this person anymore. I don't like anything he stands for. He has no common sense, sense of values, no morales. He lies and cheats and has no regard for anyone.
The court system makes me angry also. Now, he's been given several more months to drink and drive again - possibly killing someone. I know he will drink and drive again. He hasn't learned anything.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Love,
Galnva
I have a bondsman friend - they called to check the the true story for me because he never tells me the whole story. They found enough evidence to try him for all charges and try him in a higher court. That's why it's been postponed until May.
He came over to my house on Saturday to pick up the kids. He came in and assulted a guy friend of mine that was there. He did all of this in front of my children. My daughter was so scared she was trembling. I asked him what the hell was he doing - he said your friend started it. My 6 year old daughter said - Mommy - Daddy is lying, daddy started it. I made him leave without the kids. He had been drinking or the smell was left over from the night before.
He really makes me sick. I'm so angry at him for being like this and angery at myself for loving this person - who he has become.
I really wanted him to go to jail so once and for all he was out of our lives and I could start putting structure back into mine and the kids life. Maybe it took me getting to this point to realize in my head and heart that we are over. I don't like this person anymore. I don't like anything he stands for. He has no common sense, sense of values, no morales. He lies and cheats and has no regard for anyone.
The court system makes me angry also. Now, he's been given several more months to drink and drive again - possibly killing someone. I know he will drink and drive again. He hasn't learned anything.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Love,
Galnva
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
You sound like you have every right
to be angry. He has done some awful things and you wouldn't be human if those awful things didn't make you angry. I think the trick is how long you carry that anger around with you. I think we would all be a lot more emotinally healthy if we had punching bags on which we could work out our anger and frustration. Hugs to you. I know how hard it is to deal with this irrational behavior.
Peace,
Gabe
Peace,
Gabe
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: st. petersburg
Posts: 13
Hi hun I can completely relate to this becuase I married the sweetest guy 9 years ago now I have left him becuase he an A and he has gotten so mean...so very mean...ugly.
I am worried for you becuase you say he is picking up your kids which means he is probably driving them around drunk.
I really hope over the love you have for him you think about that...say he trys to ellude a cop with them going 120 miles ...yikes that is a scary thought.
You should be able to take him to court so he is not allowed to drive them since he has 2 duis on record.
I wih you the best of luck...I love my man so much...and all he is is mean and nasty to me and all I try to do is give him love...and friendship...but the alcohol has taken far away from being any of those things.
I wish you the best of life
LIFE IS FOR LIVING
I am worried for you becuase you say he is picking up your kids which means he is probably driving them around drunk.
I really hope over the love you have for him you think about that...say he trys to ellude a cop with them going 120 miles ...yikes that is a scary thought.
You should be able to take him to court so he is not allowed to drive them since he has 2 duis on record.
I wih you the best of luck...I love my man so much...and all he is is mean and nasty to me and all I try to do is give him love...and friendship...but the alcohol has taken far away from being any of those things.
I wish you the best of life
LIFE IS FOR LIVING
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: upstate, ny
Posts: 135
dear galva,
it sounds like you've really been dealing with a lot of crap from the husband. you're right, sometimes we have to get really mad, before we remember our own boundaries. he's acting like a real jerk and frightening the kids on top of it like a bully!! that would send me over the edge too. i hope you can find your answers after the initial anger subsides and you're left with the realities.
u and the kids deserve a home that is a safe haven from the world, not a place for him to dump his behaviors on the ones he is supposed to love the best. deal with his illness, and detach from him and keep u and kids safe. this sort of thing will leave them with really scary thoughts to deal with. u can protect them, and don't have to allow him in their life while he is using. check your legalities, and i'll pray for u and family. this isn't the man u loved, this is a devastating illness destroying a person.
\hugs and prayers from sugar
it sounds like you've really been dealing with a lot of crap from the husband. you're right, sometimes we have to get really mad, before we remember our own boundaries. he's acting like a real jerk and frightening the kids on top of it like a bully!! that would send me over the edge too. i hope you can find your answers after the initial anger subsides and you're left with the realities.
u and the kids deserve a home that is a safe haven from the world, not a place for him to dump his behaviors on the ones he is supposed to love the best. deal with his illness, and detach from him and keep u and kids safe. this sort of thing will leave them with really scary thoughts to deal with. u can protect them, and don't have to allow him in their life while he is using. check your legalities, and i'll pray for u and family. this isn't the man u loved, this is a devastating illness destroying a person.
\hugs and prayers from sugar
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Galnva
Sometimes we have to get so angry, or tired, or sick of the sickness, that we finally surrender and move on.
This sounds like the nudge you need to let go. Don't look back, just look ahead to the wonderful life that awaits you.
Sometimes we have to get so angry, or tired, or sick of the sickness, that we finally surrender and move on.
This sounds like the nudge you need to let go. Don't look back, just look ahead to the wonderful life that awaits you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 175
Thanks for the replies. You're right - Anns. This was the nudge I needed to let go and move on. You are so right............my future looks so bright. No more looking back...........it doesn't change anything anyway.
Love to all,
Gal
Love to all,
Gal
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