sadface

I gave in and called him. I know what all of you are going to say,"Why, did I do a stupid thing like that." First of all I miss him, and both my sons have said he asks about me and if I ask about him. Is this what you call quack,quack, quack. Anyway, I heard he broke two of his fingers. i realize it is not critical, and maybe it was an excuse to call him, but i did. He didn't answer but I left him a message stating I heard he got hurt, I didn't call him sooner because i didn't know. My son's didn't tell me. His message from my son was he was not able to give me the weekly money ($50 less). I told him it was okay, I understand it is for only two weeks until the cast comes off and I know when he can work again he will give me more. I told him I appreciate everything he does and I hope he gets well soon. And that was it. I haven't heard from him, but I didn't want him to think I was all that cold. Maybe I am being codie but I do care about him. My mistake.

JessicaNAJ

It's one more step in your recovery. It took me a long long time and a lot of emotional pain to NOT call G. Don't dwell on it. You called b/c you wanted to show him you cared. and you left a message .... now the rest is up to him. Don't call him back. I could go on and on and on about what I went through...but your recovery is about you and you will realize in your own time what it is you need to do.

Zoey

How much recovery do you have? We all work at our own pace, many of us slip.
Don't feel guilty, don't beat yourself up. Just do what you can to try harder.

I made lists, what I wanted to do in my recovery, note of good destractions so I don't think of how to control this or do things I wil feel guilty about. What I think is good suggestions.
Also tried to work a good 4th step.
Started my amends to him. WOW!
Take what you can use and leave the rest. My thoughts and suggestions only.

I have to go find someone on forum and make amends, I was wrong. (Imagine that!)
HUGS

denny57

Nope. You needed to call him and did. You can't turn off your caring at the flip of a switch. Learning what you need to do for you takes time. You will figure it out as you go. Keep coming back and posting.

StandingStrong

I've heard it said to "detach with love". It appears that is what you did. You called him because you miss him and you wanted him to know you were thinking of him while he was hurt.
It only matters how YOU feel about having called him. If you feel okay with it - then don't stress it.
There are times that we have to do what we feel we have to do - even when no one else understands.
I dont think that caring is quite the same as enabling, controlling, etc. I just hope you remember to keep your boundaries. To keep YOU safe.

Cynay

Its no sin to love an alcoholic hon, or to miss him.

So you called, done and over with now, I dont know that any of us have not done that or more...

Just keep the focus on you and your recovery and everything will be fine.

sadface

As usual thanks, yesterday I was feeling sorry for myself because he did'nt call me. I felt so unloved, so I called him again. This time we did talk. I tossed and turned last night thinking about what he said, and then I started feeling sorry for him. I can only imagine the lies he tells me, he tells the OW. He says his children are his priority but the day he was with his daughter he was drunk on the floor. I can only imagine what my son feels like to love his dad and know that alcohol is his priority. It like when you watch people in intervention. They don't see the road of distruction they are heading towards, their choices doesn't make sense and they don't understand it. I apologize if I offend anyone. You have made me understand that I am human. It is okay to love and miss someone that I have spend 17 years of my life together. I can be honest, and not pretend or lie about it. I can honestly say my children are my priority, because of my actions. God has been good to me; things are looking brighter, financially. I am told to love myself first, and I think I do. I know i don't need a man to feel complete, but I do miss the companionship, and him holding me, etc...I guess I fell of the horse and I gotta get back on it. I will no longer stress if I did the right or wrong thing. I will do what i think I need to do,but not let it hold me back. Thanks again.