elizabeth1979

I had dinner with my friends last night, the ones I didnt want to go out with. I had said I was felling obligated.

I realized exactly why I have been avoiding people. I didnt want anyone to ask me about D. I didnt want to talk about him, be reminded of him, and have to think about the choices hes made and how I chose to make my own, instead of reacting to his.

Its also really hard with friends who do not understand recovery and the emotions of being codie, so their first comment is, well you should have left along time ago. The next comment is well maybe you could work it out later on and "I bet he'll stop drinking now! and then you two will be fine!"

I just never want to have that discussion with my friends, its taxing on my emotions to sit and mull it over. I made my choice, and I dont want to second guess it.

I eventually just said, I think Im doing well, and am comfortable with my choice. Then I changed the subject to them, and their engagement. Newly engaged couples love to talk about themselves

Im glad I have been able to see what was really going on with me

RisingPhoenix

Elizabeth,

I just realized yesterday that I, the social butterfly, has all but isolated herself from the world. I go to to work, pick up my daughter, go home and stay there until I get up the next day and do it all over again. NEVER, have I been this isolated and introspective. It's good and it's fine though, because this is just where I 'am' right now. I am spending time with myself. Doing what I want to do. Playing the hell out of my guitar. And reading. A lot.

I'll emerge when I'm good and ready.

pmaslan

Great realization Sarah.....
After wearing my heart on my sleeve for so many months
most of my friends even the highly dysfuntional ones
never ask me about my ex John.
Funny the only ones that ever mention him to me at all
are the bartenders of a couple of bars he used to frequent....
Must have been a huge adjustment to their finances when he left...

Sarah never second guess you choices...especially when you can see
how wise those choices were for you now.....
(((Sarah))) Hope you have a wonderful trip
Is that the one to Florida?

elizabeth1979

Yeah, Im often surprised that people bring him up so often. Im thinking, havent you ever been through a break up? Did YOU want to talk about it in detail?
No, I didnt think so!

And Patty..yes!!!! Florida!!! I have my weekend all nooked up with appointments to look at houses! Im sooo excited actually! Im feeling really good about some of them and there is one in particular, thats ON the BEACH..not across the street, or a drive, but ON its own private beach. Its a 45 minute-an hour drive to where my office will be, but I couldnt care less about the commute!

sunshine003

ugh, I know the feeling. I all too often, have friends/family constantly ask about AH. "have you talked to him? what is he doing? what has he said? what did you say? maybe he didn't? maybe he isn't. maybe maybe maybe maybe" I swear, I think they're worse with trying to predict things than I am. It is exhausting. I have a generic phrase now, no matter the question or comment, my response is the same, "I don't know." LOL

pmaslan

I am excited for you!!!!!!
I hope you get the one on the beach. That way when I come to visit
we can just ran out the door and jump right in!!!!!!
45 minutes Heck any amount of time to commute means nothing, if
it means happiness for you!!!!
Hope it goes great, drive safe and fill us in on everything!!!!!

pmaslan

I don't know and I don't care should be etched on my forehead.....LOL

sunshine003

sarah, where in FL......maybe we'll be close to each other.

minnie

Sarah, did they not watch the Dr Phil show?

If they did and they still say stuff like that, then who needs enemies when you have friends like that?

elizabeth1979

Oh Minnie, I hear that. Drama, I think they are just all about drama and more drama, and crisis becuase of the drama.
Its tiring I swear.
Jimmy crack corn and I dont care....
LOL.
AS for the commute, its no big deal at all. I have always had at least a 30 minute drive to work, and if I can live on the beach..and be happy, hell I will drive 2 hours to and from work! Yes, visitors are a must!
Im down 3 sizes so I can finally go to the beach without being in fear of being harpooned.

minnie

Crikey, I'm going to have to ask for months off work at this rate. Phoenix, DC, Texas and now Florida. Oh, and Italy too.

pmaslan

Just let us know when you are settled in Sarah....looks like you
have me and Minnie as guests already!!!!

3 sizes...OMG you are on a roll

megamysterioso

Oh man-o-man-o!! I am very happy and excited for you too. You are sooo lucky to have found such a nice property and the best of luck in getting it. I'd drive 45 minutes no prob too .

"Jimmy crack corn and I don't care..." Sing that at the top of your lungs baby when you are laying on your own private beach.

elizabeth1979

Yes, take some time off work sisters because the beach and sun..it is a callin!
This is the view from the back porch

Jazzman

OMG!!!!!


I hate you

Can I rent a room 3 months out of the year? Jan-March. I'm very neat, (and so is Milo). I'll need a gas range for cooking and high speed internet access for my job...

Minx1969

Congrats on the 3 dress sizes! That's awesome..

Love the view of the back yard..worth the commute..

Cynay

OMG..... I hate you too!!!!

3 dress sizes and that VIEW!!!!!!!!

Ok... Im over it now, but add me to that guest list.

WOOOHOOO Italy July 28!!!!!

Cant wait

gelfling

Happy for you Ms. Liz...Takes a person with a serious recovery program to realize what you did last night. Congrats on that sweetness. Makes me tingle when I read that someone has able to take away a lesson from a difficult situation.

And you know you'll miss if you go South. Kidding. Looks like a postcard. Hope you get it.

Blessings

megamysterioso

That is sooooo AWESOME--- envy is eating me alive!!! I really hope you get this place! What a serene and wonderful setting to start anew. Lucky, lucky, lucky girl...

mallowcup

A sense of humor doesn't hurt either. People say strange things at strange times. Most people are just trying to be supportive or encouraging. In that effort they say the funniest things. It sits there like a white elephant until someone says something and it is put to rest. I mean, what if they didn't ask? There are some situtions that are just weird and uncomfortable. I've been to funerals where I've decided to say less rather than more because of the silly things people say. "Gee, they did a nice job, he looks so natural", ummmmmmm, he's dead! "He looked so sick in the hospital, but he looks good now." dead is better than sick? You know what I mean.