LaTeeDa

BTW, Salary.com is only a guideline. According to them, I should be making about $15,000 more than I actually do. And I don't think I am underpaid for my area. (In fact, some people think I'm overpaid, LOL)

pmaslan

LaTeeDa...good post that is what I have been aluding to as well.....

Minx1969

I'm going to jump in here and say that in my experience a lot of people DON'T ask for more $ because they think that's all they deserved..

Myself, my bf L and one of my mentees have all received in the past year $20K salary increases when switching jobs..

1. because we were underpaid and undervalued at the old jobs
2. because we asked..

so I'm thinking doesn't hurt to ask..

rarely will they recind a job offer..they would problably say the current offer stands..

LaTeeDa

Good point, Minx. You are absolutely right.

L

StandingStrong

FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real.

Put down the crystal ball and put away the "what if's"

Do you WANT this job?
Are you excited at the possibilities?
What is the reason that you applied for this job again?
What about YOU?

I, too, think maybe you need to go back and read your old posts.

You are facing a hard decision and I understand that. But I also feel that maybe you are creeping back into old thinking & patterns that are making this so difficult for you.

Look at what is and what it is that you want.

ASpouse

I don't think TG ever got out of the old thinking patterns StandingStrong.

TexasGirl

Actually, in my defense, I did say that this job would have to pay me well enough. If I could get it even a little bit higher with some negotiation, I would be sold. I might even be sold as is! We'll see what they say...

ASpouse

You don't need to defend yourself TG ..... we're under the misconception I think that this has to do with getting away from your alcoholic husband. I don't know, to me, this has nothing to do with your plan to get away from him at all. If you want more money, ask for it. If you don't get it then everything stays status quo, no harm done.

You are trying to play both sides of the fence, but take it from someone who has been a fence sitter for many years, teetering one way or the other, sooner or later you fall off and when you do, it's usually on the side you really don't want to be on!

BTW, I drive 90 minutes at least to work everyday. It's the norm around here I guess.

LaTeeDa

Yes, Judy, I was under that impression.

elizabeth1979

((TexasGirl))

He cheats on you..quite obviously I might add as well.

He is an active alcoholic

He lies

He manipulates



There is either something we dont know, some good about him, or you really are confused about what you want in your life and/or how to get it.



I am afraid you are laboring under the misconception that he someday will wake up, say, Oh Sh**, Im a blimey husband, drink too much, and oh holy smokes, Ive been unfaithful to the love of my life. Do you think that if you leave somehow you may miss his enlightenment?

Or perhaps you are like me and somehow somewhere in your head think that you must depend on this man to give you the life you want and that you are not capable of doing it yourself?



Its been my experience that the extra headaches, extra drama, extra disappointments, and extra hurts, far outweigh the beneficial extras.



Now, I believe you may be the kind of girl that needs proof.

Proof that hes an alcoholic...check

Proof that hes a cheater...check

Proof that you are unhappy...check

How do you get the proof that you can be happy without him..by trying it.



No job in the world is gonna make this easy..but you can do it, if you want to.

denny57

Amen.

Good points.

Pick-a-name

For arguments's sake , let's look at this in another way. Do you like the job you have now (I really can't recall) , BUT hope to make more to save if/when you are ready to move on or out? Would going to your current position and telling them that you were offered $7k more to work at the other firm, however you would prefer to stay where you are (IF that is true) if you could make a bit more...even say 1/2 the difference. You could save expenses, pocket the raise (ah wouldn't necessarily even need to know that you got the raise) and work at a pace more comfortable to you, save the commute. Is that a consideration? Then if/when you wanted to get on your own, move to your own place; if you didn't, you would be able to have additional financial security.

Just a thought. You don't sound ready to me to move an hour away for a new job; maybe that is just me though.

Good luck, whatever you decide. Do what feels right for you...regardless of what anyone else says.

pmaslan

So have you made any discisions yet TG?

L8YNRED

I just want to know where you can make $50K doing helpdesk? Sign me up