I did it, I did it, I did it!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
I did it, I did it, I did it!!!
Last night ah calls, I didn't answer because I knew it couldn't be about seeing the baby, he saw her earlier that day and if it was about seeing her tomorrow, I'd hear the message. Well, he was frantic in his message. You know, having all sorts of anxiety, couldn't sit still but felt like he was going to pass out. He can't handle this, feels like the room is closing in on him, etc.
I hear the message, wait about 5 minutes as I talked myself out of feeling bad for him. I called back. He answered and sounded better but said he still felt that way, all "jumpy" as he described it. He asked if I'd come over. I said, "I can't, all the kids are sleeping and I'm tired as well. Second, I think I would ADD to your anxiety, not take away from it. " He said he just wanted to "hold me." insert a big fat, EEEWWWWWWW HERE. Holding me would just make him feel so much better. I said, "Look, the doctor said nobody dies from an anxiety attack, if it were that bad, the most you'd do is pass out but then passing out would regulate your breathing. You're going to be fine and if it's that bad perhaps you should go talk to someone about this anxiety."
He said he wanted to talk to me and I said, "I have some problems of my own I need to work through. I can't be there for you like that because my energy is being used for me."
He hung up the phone on me. He called back several times, I didn't answer, he didnt leave a message and I was fine with not answering.
I think I'm getting the hang of this.
I hear the message, wait about 5 minutes as I talked myself out of feeling bad for him. I called back. He answered and sounded better but said he still felt that way, all "jumpy" as he described it. He asked if I'd come over. I said, "I can't, all the kids are sleeping and I'm tired as well. Second, I think I would ADD to your anxiety, not take away from it. " He said he just wanted to "hold me." insert a big fat, EEEWWWWWWW HERE. Holding me would just make him feel so much better. I said, "Look, the doctor said nobody dies from an anxiety attack, if it were that bad, the most you'd do is pass out but then passing out would regulate your breathing. You're going to be fine and if it's that bad perhaps you should go talk to someone about this anxiety."
He said he wanted to talk to me and I said, "I have some problems of my own I need to work through. I can't be there for you like that because my energy is being used for me."
He hung up the phone on me. He called back several times, I didn't answer, he didnt leave a message and I was fine with not answering.
I think I'm getting the hang of this.
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sussex, NJ
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Sunshine ........ you take my breath away!
I've heard alcoholics complain of that "jumping out of their skin" feeling when they need to have a drink and it's not available.
I can't wait to hear what happens next. He's not done yet. Do you know if he's going to work?
I've heard alcoholics complain of that "jumping out of their skin" feeling when they need to have a drink and it's not available.
I can't wait to hear what happens next. He's not done yet. Do you know if he's going to work?
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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yes, he's at work, LOL. He seems to be fine during buisness hours, he never misses work. You know why he's at work? Because it isn't THAT bad, that's why. Because he's a faker. Because he might be anxious about "oh boy, she isn't coming back." But I KNOW his world isn't falling apart. He's too arrogant and once he sees that I'm really serious, he'll be off having a good time and with someone else very soon. Heck, he probably fits in his good time here and there already. I wouldn't know, I don't try to find out what he's up to anymore and when I find myself thinking about it, I smack my mind.
been searching for the dream
Join Date: Feb 2006
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Sunshine, Good for yu. Yes at work they suck it all up for the IMAGE>> mine does that. We could be having difficulties and he will suck it up. Sometimes he just looks forlorn and people say to him OH I will pray for you... yuck. I am here in limbo waiting. Mine woke up in sweats this morning he has been trying to cut down and the other nite couldn't get to sleep said he felt like he was buzzing. He has been edgy. Functional and feeling the effects. Ugh. If I had only seen that before. I am very proud of you dear girl. Happy for you. Good Move. You have definitely gotten the hang of it. He is anxiety ridden because he is having being dragged to the Mirror Mirror on the wall and it is harder than anything to face that mirror. Anxiety would be a natural reaction I think. Logical Reaction. Ughhhhh how unfortunate. How very unfortunate that this thing called alcoholism or whatever addiction can make this happen to people but that does not mean I am being codie about it. Just an observation of the reality.
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
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Heck Yeah Sunshine! That was a good job on your part and I love the part about going to see a professional. LOL You can always say, "Last I checked I am not a medical doctor, so I think you may have dialed the wrong number?" LOL that would be mean, but it would be funny. I'm sure he is pretty darn functional at work and is using this as just another guilt tactic. You are doing great and I admire your clarity.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
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Originally Posted by ASpouse
I've heard alcoholics complain of that "jumping out of their skin" feeling when they need to have a drink and it's not available.
Wow, Sunshine............way to go!!!!!!! Keep posting; I'm learning a lot!
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
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thanks everyone! strange how I used to question everything. I believe that to be an indicator that something is terribly wrong. Lookingback, I see this now. But for today (and last night), I didn't question anything. It's an empowering feeling and so relaxing to not be doubting yourself. I didn't realize how "on edge" I've been for years.
I got a 24 hour break from self doubt, I feel so rested.
I got a 24 hour break from self doubt, I feel so rested.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
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It's an empowering feeling and so relaxing to not be doubting yourself. I didn't realize how "on edge" I've been for years.
great job - practice makes perfect!
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
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Sunshine you are doing so well!
I LOVE THIS!
I said, "I have some problems of my own I need to work through. I can't be there for you like that because my energy is being used for me."
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Join Date: Nov 2005
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Sunshine - I was browsing through various threads in this forum and came upon yours. I am glad that you're holding fast to your boundaries and are staying strong. Your head's in the right place.
You go, girl!!
You go, girl!!
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