TexasGirl

I was watching Desperate Housewives last night, and Bree said something to her son that caught my attention. After he told her he hated her, she said, "The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. As long as you hate me, I know you still care."

That just really struck something in me. The amount of indifference I feel toward my husband is weird. I really just don't care about anything he does anymore. It made me realize more about my relationship. I say I love him, but it's been in a "because he's my husband" kind of way. Do I really even love him anymore?

Jazzman

Damn... need to start watching that show, could be good for my recovery... LOL!!

TexasGirl

Right! Who would have thought that my guilty pleasure could be so beneficial!

Jazzman

Once a friend of mine made a comment that stuck w/ me. I was talking about the latest "episodes" and this friend said... You seem like you're just numb about everything!

Emotionaly numb, indifference, apathy... all signs of the same thing.
BTDT.

Spring is a good time for change.

equus

Try thinking of love as a verb and it might make it a little easier to answer. Also there's lots of kinds of love but only one kind of liking I know - I like liking people, liking them is really important to me!!

TomsGirl

I've always said to my H, "If I didn't care I wouldn't get angry". Or sad, or hurt, disappointed, whatever. As in the stranger on the street doesn't make me happy or sad. I know the day I told my first H I wanted a divorce he knew I was serious because I did it without a shread of emotion.

cwohio

*hand raised from the back of the classroom*

yep - i can identify with you guys. i think that's when i really started focusing and considering more seriously separating and really working on myself in earnest.

shall we start a "BTDT" club? LOL

Zoey

I am ******** guys, but teachable ********, what does " BTDT" stand for?
I am not to use the word ********, but shorter tham the correct one. (smile)

TexasGirl

Been there, done that.

ICU

Clancy,

BTDT = Been There, Done That!!

I read this yesterday and it got to me.....

"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong - - but sometimes, it's letting go"!

Zoey

Thanks everyone, that was too easy. When I don't know, I think of new and complicated. smile

pmaslan

I like that ICU....
"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong - - but sometimes, it's letting go"!

There was a line that I USED to subscribe to from the movie "The Way We Were."
Hubble said "Katie, do you ever give up?"
Katie said, "Only when I am absolutely forced to."

megamysterioso

Yep TG- apathy is the opposite of love IMO. That's how I knew my love for my AH had withered away-- didn't even care that he broke another "promise" by drinking tequila. This binge resulted in him being carted away in an ambulance WITHOUT me. It did not affect me or really touch me in any way. I knew he wouldn't die and that's all I cared about.

I think if you're even questioning, "do I still love him" then the answer is no.

reader

I aggree Patty, The letting go is much harder! I know I had to let go of 38 years of learned behavior. Any time you walk off the path the walking gets more difficult.