Gabe

Well, today was very weird. I had to take my mom to the hospital for a cancer biopsy. I have old (but mostly resolved) issues with my mother as she was an active alcoholic through most of my childhood. Some of those old issues tried to rear their ugly heads today. Like "why am I here taking care of you when you never took care of me?"
But I put them to rest. I focused instead on my promise to my Dad (before he died) that I would always take care of my mother. Dad took care of her with the grace and serenity of the best gentleman who ever walked this Earth.
It's amazing how lighter the load is (when it comes to old issues) when you say to yourself "That just doesn't matter anymore."
And it really doesn't matter anymore when it comes to me and my Mom. Truth be told, she really wasn't a very good mother, and she still isn't. After years of sobriety, the alcoholic personality still living large and able to **** me off when I let it.
But I have become a more tolerant and loving person as a result of patterning after my Dad (instead of my Mom), so today went better than I even expected.
Just sharing my "attitude of gratitude" for the day.
Peace,
Gabe

Ann

Gabe

What a wonderful inspiring post. They say the antidote to resentment is forgiveness, and my guess is that you forgave your mom years ago.

She is lucky to have a daughter like you.

My prayers go out to both of you and for good test results for her.

liddy

(((((((GABE))))))

thanks for sharing !
I love your attitude, its so easy to
look back and get hurt all over again
you inspire me to look at today
and today was okay I can live with that.
and you did real good with your today
tomorrow..well, we can do it again !

thanks Gabe
hugs
liddy

sugar52

dear gabe,
thank you for sharing. i think you have a wonderful attitude and approach to the family baggage. i can relate to your role model in your dad. it was the same for me. i take care of my mom. she has alzheimers and is very sick. today i stood crying in the bathroom trying to get her on the toilet. i was crying for my mother lost. she was far from perfect anddidn't protect me from sexual abuse as a child, but it really doesn't matter anymore. i know in my heart she tried as best she could, and she's the only mom i'm ever gonna have. i do so miss her and believe me,taking care of her in acvanced dementia has been a trying task, but it's all happened for a reason that i know my higher power gave me.
i think family dynamics help mold the person we become, and i think of my dad who died years ago and how he would want me to care for my mom and i can sometimes feel his strength reach out to me when i'm faltering.
yout mom had her problems as we all do and your acceptance and forgiveness will bring you many blessings in life and i can see what a special woman your parents did raise. thanks for sharing
hugs from sugar

Hangin' In

Gabe,

Thanks for sharing your gratitude story. Makes me stop and think about ALL the things for which I have to be grateful.

You are so mature in your Al Anon walk like so many others on here. I just hope to get there one day. Thanks for sharing and teaching us 'babes' in Al Anon.

Hugs,

Hangin' In

Gabe

I'm just baby steppin' here kids, I have my moments. Oh, do I have my moments.
Sugar, big, HUGE hugs to you for what you are going through with your Mom. I went through the same thing with my Dad. If there is a disease that I hate as much, or more, than alcoholism, it's Alzheimer's. What a rotten, nasty thief that disease is.
I can tell you one lovely thing about my Dad and his battle with that disease. He lost a lot of his abilities. And that was very sad. But he never lost his ability to pray, he never lost his ability be a gentleman, and he never lost his ability to say "I love you" back to us when we told him that we loved him. In that respect, I consider him the victor and not the victim. He passed in October of 2001, but I still feel him with me every day. Especially when I have to care for my Mom. Sugar, God bless you and your Mom, I know what heartaches came come from what you are both going through.
Peace,
Gabe